How to Become an Elegant Woman

• Be kind and respectful to others. Really listen when they speak to you and try to put yourself in their shoes.
• Stay calm and collected in all situations. If you're upset, take a few deep breaths before reacting.
• Wear classic outfits that look sophisticated and stylish. Stick with neutral colors and simple patterns.
• Apply natural-looking makeup and style your hair so it looks sleek and polished.

Acting Classy

Be kind and respectful to others. It’s important to be polite and always remember your manners. Say “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me” when necessary. Treat everyone you meet, from the CEO to the janitor, with respect and never act as though you’re better than someone else. Show kindness to others by helping them. These things are what truly make up an elegant woman.

Give compliments. If you notice something you like or appreciate about someone, tell them! Not only will it make them feel great, it will help you bond with them. Compliment a friend’s style, praise a coworker for a job well done, and tell your significant other how much you appreciate them. For instance, if you’re the leader of a group project, consider what each team member did well and give them specific compliments. You could say, “Joann, thanks for providing such thorough research on wind energy developments,” or “I really appreciate you staying late on Thursday to finish up the PowerPoint presentation, Dan.”

Develop poise. Carry yourself gracefully and in a ladylike manner. Pull your shoulders slightly back, lift your head up a little, and straighten your back. Cross your legs or ankles when seated. Show confidence using your body language, and avoid slouching, crossing your arms, or fidgeting.

Maintain your composure. Do your best to stay calm and collected, no matter the circumstances. If something upsets you, stop and take several deep breaths. Observe what’s going on and pull back from the situation. Try to put things in perspective and think about the best course of action before you proceed. For example, if someone says something rude to you, avoid replying with a cutting remark. Take a deep breath and try to understand where they’re coming from. Address their rudeness directly, or simply let it go and walk away.

Be self-aware and authentic. Pay attention to how you act and react to the people around you. Consider your values, interests, and hobbies. Once you understand and accept yourself for who you are, you can work on being true to yourself, which is the mark of an elegant woman. Make decisions for yourself based on what you want and need. For example, don’t avoid taking your vacation time just because your co-workers pride themselves on racking up the hours. If you need a break, and have earned one, take it.

Personal Development

Stay up to date on current news. It’s important to be knowledgeable about the world and people around you. Study current events, politics, pop culture, history, and the arts. Get your news from a variety of sources so that you can get a comprehensive idea of what is really going on, and find out as much as you can about a subject before forming an opinion. For example, read reports on a candidate from their own political party as well as from their opposing political party.

Expand your perspective. Read a variety of newspapers and novels, listen to different styles of music, and go to performances in a wide range of genres (ballet, rodeo, cirque du soleil, opera, river dancing, comedy, etc.). Visit different places in the world, if possible, and interact with people from different countries and cultures.

Communicate clearly. Be an active listener and try to understand other people’s point of view. When you have something to share, speak eloquently and directly, and try to make your meaning and message as clear as possible. Remember to enunciate and speak slowly, rather than rushing.

Resolve conflicts effectively. If you have an issue with someone, bring it up with them directly, rather than discussing the issue with others, gossiping, or perpetuating rumors. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to understand their perspective. If you make a mistake, apologize sincerely. For example, say, “Victoria, I’m sorry for being harsh with you this morning. I was stressed about the upcoming deadline and shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Will you accept my apology?”

Mind your language. Don’t swear, use vulgar language, or tell crude jokes, as these things are far from elegant. Refrain from saying things that might offend or hurt someone else. It’s also a good idea to expand your vocabulary so that you’ll always have the right word ready on the tip of your tongue.

Looking Elegant

Practice good personal hygiene. Shower or bathe regularly, apply deodorant, clean your ears, and brush and floss your teeth. Take care of your hair and skin and groom yourself neatly. Keep your nails trimmed and neat, or get manicures and pedicures.

Dress conservatively. Choose clothing that fits well and shows your figure without being too tight or revealing. Shorts, skirts, and dresses should not be shorter than just above the knee, rather than hitting at mid-thigh. Opt for tops with wide straps or sleeves, and avoid clothes that show too much skin, including your midriff and cleavage.

Select classic silhouettes, colors, and fabrics. Opt for items that won’t go out of style, like pencil skirts, flowing blouses, shift dresses, tailored trousers, A-line skirts, button-down tops, and blazers. Choose chic fabrics including silks, stiff crêpes, cashmeres, linens, and wools. Pair one bright piece of clothing with neutral colors, or mix neutrals together. Wear a cream silk camisole underneath a navy buttoned blazer and pencil skirt suit. Add cream-colored wedges and a bright handbag. Pair a black A-line skirt with a pink silk blouse and black leather pumps. Add a scarf or a statement necklace and stud earrings. Layer a red wool peacoat over high-waisted khaki trousers and a white button-down top. Pair the outfit with red pumps. EXPERT TIP Alena Le Blanc Alena Le Blanc Personal Stylist Alena Le Blanc is the Personal Stylist and the Founder of Le Blanc Label. Based in San Francisco, California, Le Blanc Label is the leading personal stylist brand for sustainable style transformations. Alena and her team specialize in seasonal wardrobe refreshes, closet edits, styling for special events, travel, photoshoots, and general personal needs. Alena has been featured in podcasts including EMPOWERED BY WMN, I Am Fearless, and Mind Power Meets Mystic. Alena received her BFA in Fashion and Apparel Design from the Academy of Art University. Alena Le Blanc Alena Le Blanc Personal Stylist Invest in well-made garments. Choose clothes made of high-quality fabrics like wool, silk, and cashmere. They last longer and exude luxury. Look for clean stitching, smooth seams, and a well-tailored fit. Focusing on clothes of this quality will help you build a personal style that conveys understated elegance.

Apply natural makeup. Your makeup should look natural and subtle, as though you’ve barely applied it at all. Take care to choose a foundation that matches your skin tone exactly. Use light blush and neutral eye makeup. Eyeliner and mascara should be used moderately. You can opt for a bold lipstick, such as a classic red, if desired. Avoid using makeup in shocking colors, like neon green or plum.

Keep your hair neat. Elegant women have a variety of hairstyles, so don’t feel as though you need a certain cut or style. No matter what you choose, though, keep it sleek and neat, and avoid deliberately messy styles. Chignons and french twists are great options for longer hair, while a bob is a classic style for those who like their hair shorter.

Choose simple accessories. Look for classic styles that compliment your outfit without looking overdone. Choose jewelry that is understated and chic, rather than gaudy. Gold accents, classic watches, pearls, diamonds, and gems are all elegant options. Remember, less is more! Pair a long dress with a beaded clutch and pearl earrings. Wear a statement necklace with a button-down shirt. Add a leather purse and a patterned scarf to a business suit.