What does “Demure” mean on TikTok?
Demure is part of a viral trend highlighting a sensible, understated style. In this trend, being “demure” means being subtle with your style yet looking cute and appealing, too. It’s basically about looking like you’re not putting in too much effort or going over the top! It also means being “mindful”—aware of yourself and the situation regarding what looks most presentable. The full viral phrase is “Very demure, very mindful,” and it’s all about being classy and self-aware simultaneously.
“Demure” also refers to a modest, self-aware mindset. In the TikTok trend, being “demure” goes beyond appearances; it’s about thinking and acting in a classy, humble way and being as mindful as possible in all aspects of life (not just fashion). Being “demure” means being genteel and polite while projecting quiet confidence as you go about your day. For example, one of the original “Demure” TikTok videos describes being demure in the workplace as being “respectful” of the other people there.
The traditional definition of demure is reserved, modest, or coy. When someone is “demure,” they’re self-contained, quiet, well-behaved, and conservative. A demure person might avoid drawing attention to themselves or act modestly around others. Over the years, “demure” became a more common descriptor for women, though it can apply to anyone. While the “demure” trend has some parallels to the official definition of demure, following the trend doesn’t necessarily mean being quiet or bashful. Rather, the trend emphasizes being cute and mindful while keeping things simple and not doing too much, whereas the traditional demure is more about shying away from attention.
Where does “Very demure” come from?
The “Demure” TikTok trend was started by Jools Lebron. Lebron (@joolieannie on TikTok) posted the first clip that went viral on August 2, 2024, titled “How to be demure at work.” In the video, she talked about styling her hair and makeup before work, saying, “See how I come to work? Very demure,” before later saying, “Let’s not forget to be demure, divas.” Lebron went on to create a series of other tongue-in-cheek videos about being demure, including “How I get detained in a demure manner” and “How I come out of a weekend depression in a demure manner.” After the initial video took off, Lebron has even begun attending events and giving interviews on the “Demure” trend, including a segment of Jimmy Kimmel Live with guest host RuPaul.
Other influencers have continued the viral trend on TikTok. Many TikTok users and celebrities (like Bob the Drag Queen) have used the original TikTok audio in their videos about being demure at work, while celebrities like Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis have posted their take on being demure and mindful. In Curtis’ video, Lohan says, “Straight hair, very demure,” and Curtis says, “Wearing a seatbelt, very mindful.” TikTok influencer Campbell Puckett posted a video about eating a croissant demurely, and influencer Haley Khalil made a cheeky video about blocking an ex. Even brands like Netflix have jumped onto the “demure” trend, posting a clip of Rory from Gilmore Girls and describing her as “the demurest” in a caption.
Is the “Demure” trend serious or a joke?
The “Demure” trend is meant to be whimsical and funny. In reality, the trend has been embraced both ways: some people see it as a joke, while others have taken the idea of being more demure and mindful to heart. Nonetheless, Lebron’s videos absolutely contain playful sarcasm and humor as she explains how to be “demure” in different situations. For example, Lebron clarified that a joke about not showing up to work with a “green glitter cut crease” in her original video was a playful dig at something she did in the past. Overall, Lebron’s videos are jokes—but the trend and concept of being “very demure, very mindful, very cutesy” aren’t always. Some viewers even embrace both sides of the trend, seeing the videos as jokes while also trying to adapt their version of a demure, mindful vibe in life.
The “Demure” trend may be poking fun at the “clean girl” aesthetic. The “clean girl” or “vanilla girl” trend is all about being (and looking) as effortless as possible. It emphasizes a natural look (with neutral, light colors and makeup), minimalism, and activities like journaling and meditation. Thus, the “Demure” trend plays on the “clean” aesthetic, especially in its focus on not looking too over-the-top.
Demure Fall vs. Brat Summer
“Brat summer” is a trend embracing messiness, self-expression, and fun. The “Brat summer” trend was inspired by singer Charli XCX, whose album “Brat" was released in June 2024. From the album, some decided to adopt a “brat” mindset for the summer, which is all about partying, getting a little messy, looking cool—and, above all, being yourself unapologetically. “Brat summer” is also about removing the negative implications of the word “brat” and making it more about empowerment.
Brat summer is loud and extra, while demure fall is mindful and calm. After the “Demure” trend kicked off, X (formerly Twitter) users began declaring that “brat summer” was becoming “demure fall.” Generally, a “demure fall” is all about slowing down and re-centering yourself, turning your wild summer into a more peaceful, quiet fall season.
How to Be Demure
Wear outfits that are subtle yet still fashionable. The “demure” trend encourages you to dress in a cute, presentable way without looking like you’re doing too much—so the idea is to keep it simple. Pick clothes with more of an understated vibe that aren’t too extravagant or revealing. Makeup should be subtle, too; keep it minimal, clean, and elegant. Keep in mind that there aren’t specific types of clothing or outfits associated with this trend. It still comes down to what fits your definition of demure (and what’s in your closet). So, rather than copying a style from an influencer, think about what outfits you’d consider cute and demure.
Consider where you’re going and what styles are appropriate. Since mindfulness is also a key part of the “demure” trend, be aware of what you’re doing and where you’ll be that day. Are you going to work? Think of what might look charming yet understated and appropriate at your workplace. Are you going to brunch with friends? Pick a casual outfit that’s low-key, simple, and cute.
Dress authentically in a way that makes you feel confident. Above all, the “demure” trend doesn’t tell you to be invisible or change your style. Instead, it emphasizes finding your own “demure” and rocking it with confidence—so make sure everything you’re wearing and doing makes you feel better about yourself and more calm or centered. For example, Lebron shared her version of demure on Jimmy Kimmel Live. “I feel like demure is like a mindset. I used to be crazy and out of control, and then I found some ‘demurity.’ And along with that came success!”
Be mindful of your needs and those of everyone around you. Being "mindful" is about awareness, and the "demure" trend focuses heavily on self-awareness. Is there something you need that might make your life better? Is there a polite way to make someone else's life easier? Try practicing mindfulness and see if it improves your day. For example, taking medication could be considered "very mindful" because you know how it will help (and your doctor's instructions). Waiting patiently in a line at the coffee shop or thanking your barista is "very demure, very mindful" because you're thinking about how tough that barista's job might be. Being demure and mindful can also be as simple as stopping and double-checking for pedestrians at a stop sign because you're "mindful" of the rules of the road.
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