Identifying Your Dreams
Pinpoint your desires. Pay attention to the things that you enjoy doing the most, and ask yourself what it is about those things that you enjoy. You should also pay attention to when you compare yourself to another person. You may find yourself comparing yourself to other people if you desire something that they have or have experienced. This doesn’t mean that you wish they didn’t have it, it just means that you want something similar. Try to focus on your goals instead. For example, if you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else, then you might turn the comparison into a goal, such as “I admire my sister for completing that 5K. I would like to run a 5K too, so I will make it my goal to choose a 5K and train three times per week.” You can also try asking yourself some questions if you find yourself comparing to others, such as “What do I want from this situation?” “How is comparing myself to this other person benefiting me?” and “If I can't achieve what he or she has, will I become angry, hurt, or depressed?”
Set goals for yourself. Goals are going to be how you get from where you are now to where you want to be. The clearer your goals are, the more successful you will be at attaining them. Use the SMART acronym to set good goals: Specific. This means that your goal is something that you have described in detail and that is not vague. Measurable. This means that you can measure your goal and will have a definite way to know when you have completed it, such as lose 20 pounds, get a new job, or organize my closet. These are all things that you can tell if you did them or not. Attainable. Your goal should be something that you can actually obtain. For example, you should not set a goal to get married by the end of the year. This is something that you do not have complete control over, so it may not be attainable. Realistic. This means that your goal should be something that you can realistically accomplish. For example, setting a goal to travel into outer space would be unrealistic if you are not trained as an astronaut. However, setting a goal to travel to a foreign country is a more realistic option. Time bound. Your goal should be something that has a definite timeline. For example, lose 20 pounds in 20 weeks or apply to five jobs by the end of the month would be examples of goals that are time bound.
Plan out your dream life. When doing this, dream big. Plan every single detail of your life. Start with imagining the situations in life that you currently find unappealing, and imagine something that’s better. Continue doing this until you cannot imagine anything better than the life you have created in your imagination. This will clarify your desires and help you set goals to reach the life that you truly want. Imagine your ideal family. Do you have kids? Are you married? Where does your family live? Detail every corner of your dream house. Choose the colors, floors, decorations, etc. Ask yourself what you would do if you could have any job in the world. Consider what title and benefits you would want, too. Try representing your dream life using a dream board. You can use a piece of poster board to make a dream board or do it digitally with Pinterest. Place pictures, words, and symbols on the board to represent your goals. This will help you to focus your attention on your goals and surround yourself with reminders of it.
Step out of your comfort zone. There is a predictability and comfort to doing the same things that you have always done. When you don’t take chances or do anything new you are remaining in your comfort zone. You may even feel content in your comfort zone. However, you will never know about the exciting things that lie beyond that zone. Consider trying new experiences. Try new foods. Learn new activities. Travel to new places and learn new people.
Conquer your fears. Change can be incredibly difficult for some people, but change is a good thing. It is normal to have fears, but moving past some of your fears may allow you to experience new things and contribute to your growth. Keeping a positive mindset about new ventures may help you move past your fears and into new experiences. Each new experience can help you learn something about yourself that will shed light on what you desire in life. For example, a fear of flying may prevent you from boarding an airplane. Conquering this fear can open up new opportunities to travel to new and exciting places.
Be at peace with failing occasionally. Many cultures see failure as a negative thing. Although it is not fun to experience failure, being afraid of failing should never prevent you from living your dream life. There is a good possibility that you won’t fail. And if you do fail, learn from your failure. For example, living in fear of failure could prevent you from taking a new job opportunity.
Quiet your mind. Taking time to just be still and allow yourself to relax may help you to feel inspired and capable of taking on challenges. Try taking at least 15 minutes to yourself each day to just be still, such as by meditating, practicing yoga, or deep breathing. For example, you could get up 15 minutes before the rest of your household and sit quietly in your living room doing deep breathing. Or, you could find 15 minutes of time to yourself in the afternoon or evening for a meditation practice.
Building Your Life
Don’t worry about what other people think. It is so easy to be consumed by the opinions of other people. If you are constantly living to please other people, you will quickly lose sight of your dream life. Check in with yourself frequently to be sure that you are living for yourself and not for anyone else. Worrying about what other people think could prevent you from achieving your goals. For example, if you want to become a hair stylist you must go to beauty school. Your friends or parents may think that going to beauty school is a waste of your time. However, if you worry about what they think you might not become a hair stylist.
Live according to your values. Everyone has a different set of values and priorities that they should consider when they are trying to live their dream life. Some people value the time with their family more than anything. Others are more focused on their career and value their time in the office. Be sure to keep your values in mind when you are making decisions that affect your life. Make a list of your values and priorities so that you can refer to them often.
Strive to meet the goals you set. If you have done a good job making SMART goals, then you’ve taken the first step to setting yourself up for success. The next step is to meet those goals. Make a list of actionable steps that pave the way to each milestone that you set. For example, if you set the goal to travel more often, have a certain amount of your pay automatically go to a savings account each payday. You could also dedicate one weekend a month to traveling to a new local place.
Be your own biggest fan. Find out who you truly are and learn to love yourself. Consider what really matters to you. Stop comparing yourself to other people. It may seem as though other people have a better life that you, especially in the age of social media. When you truly love yourself you will start to believe that other people love you too. Commit time to causes that you truly care about. Find people that enjoy the same movies, books, and music as you and enjoy them together.
Nurture the relationships that matter to you. A huge part of your dream life is likely to be the people with whom you share that life. Make an effort to let them know how important they are to you. Spend time with them whenever possible, and show them respect and gratitude. For example, if your spouse is the most important person in your life, make time to go on dates or have romantic nights at home.
Enjoying Your Life
Start living in the moment. You can learn from your past, but don’t live in the past. Learn to let go of the things that have happened to you and move on with your life. On the other hand, it is easy to fantasize about the future. Take advantage of each day and each moment while they are happening in order to get the most out of each day. Engage yourself instead of zoning out. Enjoy each moment as you are living it instead of thinking about the past or present.
Forgive people. Everyone has been hurt in the past. If you have not let go of that pain you may be carrying it over into each day. This pain can greatly impact your quality of life. It is important to forgive those who have hurt you in the past in order to move on with your life. You will find that this forgiveness is more helpful for you that it is for the person that you are forgiving. Keep in mind that forgiving someone does not mean you are forgetting what happened or that you are saying the behavior was okay. It is just meant to give you some peace and allow yourself to let go of the anger, hurt, and resentment you feel.
Work on creating new memories. If you have negative memories from the past, replace those memories with new memories. Try new and exciting things that you have always wanted to try. Instead of spending your money on stuff, consider spending it on new experiences. These memories will last much longer than anything that you buy. Take a vacation to a place that you have always wanted to go. Take a friend or your family to a new place like the zoo, museum, or amusement park.
Be grateful for the life you have. Part of living your dream life is having what you want. The other part is wanting what you have. Look for the things that are going right in your life and be grateful for them. A mindset of gratitude will help you be happier and gain more things that you want in life. For example, you could be grateful for having meals, a home, a friend, or any number of things.
Keep things in perspective. Once you achieve the life you want, it is easy to get carried away and start letting things slip. If you want to continue living your dream life, you will have to remain responsible and guard the lifestyle you live. You should absolutely enjoy yourself, but you have to maintain your responsibilities as well. For example, if you finally moved into your dream home, you have to continue to pay the mortgage. Even though you have reached your goal of moving into that home, you won’t be able to continue living there if you neglect your responsibilities.
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