Spells and Rituals to Cope with Grief and Bereavement

• Light a candle and write a letter to a loved one who has passed, letting all thoughts and emotions flow. Keep, bury, or burn the letter afterward.
• Bundle a deceased pet’s favorite treat or lock of fur in fabric, tie the package up with string, and bury it outside to send love to your pet in the afterlife.
• Cope with grief by eating a well-balanced diet, maintaining a regular sleep schedule, and requesting bereavement leave to give yourself time to heal.

Bereavement Spells and Rituals

Bereavement spell jar Gather a written note from the loved one who passed on, hematite, frankincense, myrrh resin, copal resin, lavender, sage, and chamomile flowers. Fill a jar of your choosing with the ingredients, then set your intentions with a quick prayer or a sentence or two that sets your intentions. Then close and seal your jar. For example, you might set an intention to heal your own grief, give your loved one a safe passage to the spirit world, or help someone you know who is struggling with grief.

Farewell ritual Remember and honor the time you spent with a loved one who has passed on. Gather a purple candle, 3 large sage leaves, a photo of your loved one (either human or animal), an envelope, a pen, and a piece of paper. To perform the ritual: Light the purple candle on your altar or table and gaze at the photograph of your loved one. Take a couple of deep breaths, allowing your body to completely relax. Focus your energy on the person or pet who passed away, remembering moments that brought you joy and characteristics that made you admire them. When you’re ready, use the pen and paper to write a letter to your loved one. Allow the words to flow in whatever form they come out in—don’t hold anything back. Place the finished letter with the three large sage leaves in the envelope. Optionally, add bay leaves, cinnamon, or other personal belongings inside the envelope. Close the envelope and carefully pour some of the melted wax from the top of the candle onto the seal. Bury the envelope in a place that’s special to you and your loved one, or in your backyard. After you bury the letter, place your hands on the earth and project all your energy.

Grief powder Grind salt, rosemary, and lavender in a mortar with a pestle until the herbs release a fragrance. Place a drop of your tears into the mortar, then leave the mixture to charge overnight. Grind the mixture once more, then sprinkle this powder on your property or on a photograph of the deceased person to help ease your grief.

Honoring the Dead ritual Create an altar or shrine to your loved one to mourn your loss. Gather a silver candle, a black candle, a white candle, chamomile flowers, white roses, and any other ingredients that remind you of the deceased person. Arrange the materials in any way that resonates with you, then set your intentions over the burning flames of the candles. Silver candles can represent healing and rest, black candles can protect against evil, and white candles represent new beginnings for both the deceased person and the mourner.

Remembrance spell Cast this spell to remember, honor, and cope with someone who has died. Gather a white candle, a pink candle (or whatever color candle you choose), a match or lighter, an item that belonged to the person or reminds you of them, a toothpick, a cup of tea, coffee, or hot cocoa, a piece of paper, and a pen. To cast the spell: Choose a day of significance to you and the deceased person, like a birthday or the day they died, to do this ritual. Carve the person’s name into the candles and light them using a match or lighter. Hold the special item that reminds you of them as you watch the flames, thinking about the happy memories you shared and the things you loved about the person. Make a relaxing cup of tea, coffee, or hot cocoa. Write a letter to the person who passed as you sip on your drink. The letter can be any length you’d like, as long as it comes from the heart. Let the candles burn out as you write. When you’ve finished, read the letter out loud so their spirit can hear you. Store your letter in a safe place, take it to their gravestone, or burn it using the lit candles in a fire-safe bowl or cauldron.

Hot cocoa grief spell Cast this spell for someone you love who’s going through a time of grief to send love their way. Chocolate is often used by kitchen witches to bring positive energy, prosperity, happiness, and love. Gather rose quartz (for love), hot chocolate mix, whipped cream, and ground cinnamon. To cast this spell: Hold the rose quartz and snowflake obsidian in your non-dominant hand or place them in your pocket as you prepare the hot chocolate mix. Once you’ve finished the hot chocolate, hold the cup, close your eyes, and tell the person who the drink is intended for that you love them and will support them through these difficult times. Add whipped cream and cinnamon to the top of your beverage and give it to the person you’re casting the spell for. You can also add edible food glitter to add a little extra sparkle to their day.

Pet funerary spell Cast this spell to send your beloved pet’s spirit love in the afterlife and help you heal after they have passed on. Gather your pet's favorite treat or a lock of their fur (if they have fur), a piece of any size purple fabric, a piece of any size brown fabric, a piece of string or yarn, a piece of paper, and a pencil. To cast this spell: Lay the brown and purple fabric pieces on a table, overlapping side-by-side. Place your pet’s favorite treat or a lock of their fur in the center of the fabric pieces. Write your pet’s name on the piece of paper with the pencil. Optionally, you can also write a short message to send them in the afterlife. Place the piece of paper with the fur or treat. Tie the bundle of items up with a piece of string or yarn and find a peaceful spot to bury the bundle. Bury the bundle and focus on sending love to your pet as you fill the hole with dirt.

Psychopomp grief sigil This sigil contains the power to bring you peace, lessen the fear of death or transition, aid in crossing the barrier between life and death, release spirits, and bless you with love, forgiveness, comfort, and guidance. Draw this sigil on a candle, add it to an altar, or use it in whatever way serves you. For example, you might carve this sigil into the candle and think about happy memories with your loved one as you stare into the flame. You can also create your own sigil with whatever shapes and symbols have significance to you and the person who passed.

Crystals for grief Use crystals to relieve your grief and find a deeper sense of peace and harmony. Place them in your pockets before you go about your day, place them on your altar, put them on your loved one’s gravestones, or meditate with crystals to release their healing power. Crystals that might help alleviate your grief include: Smoky quartz Black obsidian Amber Yellow topaz Rose quartz Emerald Malachite Amethyst Angelite

Coping With Grief

Allow yourself to feel your emotions and express them in a creative way. Let yourself feel without embarrassment or judgment—everyone grieves in their own way, and no one else can tell you when it’s time to move on. If you’re finding it difficult to express your feelings to others, volunteering for a cause you care about, journaling, or making a scrapbook might help you process loss. It’s completely okay to be angry or sad, and it’s also okay to laugh and find moments of joy after your loved one has passed on.

Take care of yourself during the grieving process. The stress of a major loss can quickly eat away at your energy and emotions. Self-care is essential when grieving—looking after your physical, mental, and emotional needs can help you start to heal through this difficult time. Focus on maintaining these parts of your everyday health: Eat a well-balanced diet. If you’re not feeling hungry, try to eat small portions frequently throughout the day. Maintain a regular sleep schedule. If you feel tired during the day, try taking a 20-minute nap in the afternoon to keep your energy up. Exercise regularly. Try walking, cycling, or swimming to offer you a distraction or a few minutes of quiet to process your loss. Take your regular medications.

Engage in mindfulness activities, like yoga or meditation. Mind-body activities can help you relax and reverse the effects of stress and anxiety. Try mindful meditation and practice yoga daily to give you a break from thinking about loss and help you recover your emotional and mental energy. You can also try using positive affirmations to banish negative thoughts and improve your self-esteem.

Take bereavement leave from your job if you need to. In some countries and states, employers may be required to provide bereavement leave if a close family member has passed away. Look up your specific state or country’s laws to see if employers are legally required to give you bereavement leave where you live. Depending on the laws where you live, bereavement leave might also be available in the event of a stillbirth, a miscarriage, or a failed adoption match. You may have to provide your employer with documentation of the death, which can include a death certificate, obituary, or written verification of death from a funeral home or mortuary. Some states and countries offer paid bereavement leave—check with your local laws and your company’s policies before requesting bereavement leave to see if you’ll need to take paid time off.

Consult a counselor or therapist if you need help coping with loss. Grief counselors are specialists who are trained to help people process and make sense of their feelings of loss and mourning. Ask your doctor for a recommendation or find a therapist or grief counselor if you need assistance working through your grief. Therapists and grief counselors can also give you validation and help you understand that there’s no right or wrong way to grieve.