Avoiding Bad Behavior
Talk to your parents about their rules. Perhaps you have been getting in trouble a lot lately at home and are unsure of why. Or maybe you feel that your parent’s rules feel unfair to you at times. If this is the case, talk to your parents about their restrictions and why they find them important. There could be underlying factors at play that you don’t know exist that will help you understand them and their rules better. This is also a time for them to understand you better. Say something like “Hey Mom and Dad, I know that I’ve been getting in trouble a lot for breaking my curfew of 10 o’clock by a few minutes. I really want to be a better child and I never want to stress you out or for you to worry about me. But I’ve had the same curfew for a year now, and I was wondering if in the future you would consider extending it to 11, after I’ve proven that I can be home by 10 consistently?” Perhaps your parents are very strict on you because there are a lot of kids in your area who do drugs or get into fatal car accidents. If so, you can reassure them by being drug free and by driving carefully.
Acknowledge what causes your bad behavior. Often times, there are certain situations that you can get yourself into that you know will lead to trouble. Take some time to think about occasions that you have gotten into trouble. Work to avoid such behavior and negative circumstances in the future. For example, if you get into trouble nearly every time you hang out with a certain friend, consider spending significantly less time with that friend. You can also try to talk to the friend so that you both can be better friends to each other and avoid trouble.
Avoid trouble at school. One other way to be good at home is to be good at school. No parent wants to hear the news that their child has been disruptive at school, and doing so can almost guarantee that your parents will be upset and disappointed in you. Work to be good at school and avoid issues so your parents never get a bad report. Review your school’s handbook as far as conduct policies as well as the classroom policies that your teachers have on an individual level. Follow these rules and you will avoid punishment.
Don’t argue with your parents. Another issue that many parents have is frustration when their children argue or talk back to them. You must remember that you are the child, even if you are in high school, and your parents are the authority figure over you. Though you may enjoy a close and even friendly relationship with them, they are still your parents and they are deserving of respect. Therefore, if you disagree with them about something, present your issue respectfully and without arguing. For example, if your parent won’t allow you to go to the mall with your friends, accept their decision. You can say something like “I know you said I can’t go to the mall with my friends, and I accept your decisions as my parent, but I do still want to go. If you change your mind, please let me know. Also, if there is any way you’d feel more comfortable with me going, could we talk about that?" In the future, ask them a bit in advance so they have more time to think about it, and don’t demand an answer right away. Never under any circumstances tell your parents that you hate them.
Make peace with your siblings. You may get into a lot of trouble at home stemming from fights with your brothers and sisters. These fights, however, can typically be avoided. Sit down with your siblings and have a talk about ending the issues between you, and discuss ways to avoid fights should tempers begin to flare. For instance, you should always take a minute to calm down once your sibling has done something to upset you. Walk away for a moment, gather your thoughts, and then return to have a talk Never hit your sibling under any circumstances.
Respect your parents’ home. Always remember that you are living under your parents’ roof, not vice versa. Your parents probably work hard to provide a home, food and clothing for you and want nothing more than for you to be taken care of. Respect the things that they have given to you and the rules that they have put in place. When you are older and have your own home, you will be able to set your own rules. For instance, don’t play your music too loud. Keep your room reasonably neat. Take care of the things they have given you. Don’t invite friends over without checking with them first.
Being Responsible At Home
Do your chores. Your parents likely have given you certain chores that you are supposed to do each week, like doing the dishes or taking out the trash. Every week, make sure that you are doing your part in your home to keep it clean and running efficiently. Remember that you are a part of your family and if you all work together, you make things easier for your parents. Keep a planner and set aside times to do these chores so you don’t forget. You should always complete your chores without having to be reminded.
Finish your homework. Your parents may come home each day from work and ask to see your homework so they can check it. Make sure that you are completing your homework each day after getting home from school so that your parents don’t have to stress about unfinished work. Since school is likely your only job, you should do it diligently and make sure that all of your business is taken care of without having to be reminded.
Help take care of your siblings. Though you are not their parent, if you have younger siblings, you can help take care of them. This will signal to your parents that you are responsible and are becoming more mature, and they will likely trust you more and think of you more favorably. If you know how to do certain things that your siblings usually rely on your parents for, you can step in occasionally to help. For instance, if your mom or dad usually gets your sibling a snack at night, you can get it for them some nights instead. You can also help them with their hair or when they pick out their clothes. Ask them if they want help first, though.
Listen to and obey your parents. Even if your parents make rules that you think are strict or perhaps even a bit harsh, you should always obey them. Many issues can be avoided if you heed the wise instruction of your parents. They have been where you are now and tend to make rules to prevent you from making the mistakes that they made. So do all that you can to keep your promises to them and show your respect. Always show them respect. Never let your friends or any others talk badly about them. It is your parent’s job to guide you and prevent you from harm. Remember that their rules stem from that desire. Avoid comparing your parents to your friends' parents. Each household has its own rules and style. Remember that some other parents might be lax and not provide enough guidance.
Respect your curfew. If your parents have given you a certain time to be home, respect that time. Your parents have likely set this time to ensure that you are home safe so they don’t have to worry about you. Do you best to never cause your parents unnecessary stress. Come home a few minutes early when possible. Set an alarm on your phone so you know when to leave your friend’s house or other location in order to be home on time.
Be polite and respectful. Your parents love you and only want the best for you. Always show them the respect that they deserve, which is a lot because they gave you life and take care of you. Be positive with them, don’t argue, and always show them kindness. Always treat them how you would like to be treated. Think about all that they do to take care of you. Never yell at them or raise your voice.
Going The Extra Mile
Do extra chores. Though you should prioritize the chores that you have already been given by your parents, you should try to do a little more to help them out every so often. Your parents may work 40 hours or more per week and have to take care of you and your siblings, so they have quite a bit on their plate in addition to taking care of the house. Take some time during the week to clean a little extra to relieve some of the burden off of your parents. Do a few extra loads of laundry when you have time or wash the dishes if you see some in the sink.
Do something nice for your parents. Your parents very likely do nice things for you often, probably even more than you notice. Take some time to think about ways to return the favor, but also to show your parents how much you love and appreciate them for all that they do. This is a great way to go beyond just being good at home, but to show your parents how much their own goodness is important to you. For instance, you could write your parents a letter expressing your love for them. You could bake them a batch of cookies or save up your money to buy them a gift.
Offer to babysit your siblings. If your parents are together and both are working, they may find it hard to find the time to go out on a date with one another like they did before you were born. If you are old enough, suggest babysitting your younger siblings so your parents can have some time to themselves. They will appreciate the gesture and you will be able to spend time with your brothers and sisters.
Consider getting a part time job. Extra money helps out any household. If you are age 16 or older, consider getting a part time job if your parents consent. This job will not only provide you with spending money so you have to ask your parents less often, it will also make you more responsible and will give you skills that are important for the workforce. Your parents will appreciate you taking this initiative and it will give you an opportunity to get out of the house for a bit. Consider looking for employment at the mall or at a restaurant. You can also babysit kids in your neighborhood or do errands for your neighbors.
Show empathy and understanding to your parents. Remember that, even though you are not a parent yourself, parenting is the hardest job on the planet. You may be your parents’ first child, and while they are always doing what they think is best, they don’t have all the answers. Know that and don’t take it out on them when you feel that they are being unfair or unreasonable. Put yourself in their shoes and imagine what you would do if you had a child. Think of how protective you would be. Be thoughtful. You can do this in small ways like not leaving the bathroom floor wet after you take a shower, as well as in larger ways like giving your parents some space after a long day at work.
Make your family your priority. There will never be anyone or anything more important in life than your family. Remember that your parents’ love for you is deeper than anyone else’s that you know, more than your friends, and more than your significant other if you have one. Always honor, respect, and love them and put them first and you will have no issue at home!
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