“You might be older, but you’re not wiser.”
Put your older sister in her place with a savage one-liner. Trying to roast your older sibling with love and laughter? Poke fun at her age in a lighthearted way to strengthen your relationship and create lasting memories. “Sorry, I thought I was talking to an adult.” “I might not be as wise as you, but at least I’m cuter.”
“I was here before you.”
Use this classic comeback to let your little sister know who’s boss. Remind your younger sibling that you’re older, smarter, and wiser—but don’t be too controlling to avoid crossing her boundaries (remember, you’re not her mom). By focusing on the fact that you were born first, you highlight your age difference in a fun and playful manner. “Again, who was born first?” “Because of you, I never want kids????????????♀️????” “I’m the reason you were born, and you’re the reason mom and dad decided to stop having kids.”
“Your opinion is almost as bad as your outfit.”
Call out your sister’s sense of style to start a silly exchange. If your sister’s a fan of Crocs, Hammer pants, or any other fashion “faux-pas,” feel free to put her on blast. Roasting her outfit is guaranteed to make her laugh, without being too mean spirited.” “What are those?!!!!” *Point to her shoes. “You better check your outfit before you come for me????????” “Is your sweater collecting unemployment? Because it’s not working for you.”
“If I give you a penny, will you leave?”
Drop this witty line to get alone time. If your sister is being annoying, be direct and hint that you need some space. Just be sure to deliver your line with a smile, laugh, or friendly expression to make it obvious you’re teasing her. Or, follow up with a “still love you though” to avoid hurting her feelings. “You bring me so much joy…when you leave the room.” "You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.” “I get so emotional when you’re not around. It’s called happiness.”
“You built like a Roblox character.”
Throw out this viral insult to begin the ultimate roast battle. Craft your own “you built like a…” line to have a funny exchange with your sister. Take turns trying to one up each other, or say whatever comes to mind to keep things entertaining—the more silly and random your response, the better! “You built like an Airpod.” “You built like a crazy straw.” “You built like a windshield wiper.”
“I hope you accidentally step on a Lego.”
Create a unique comeback to catch your sister off guard. We all have days where we just can’t get along with our siblings, and sharp one-liners are great for expressing annoyance in a silly and creative way. “It’d be great if a shark kissed you on the neck.” “I think you need a high five…in the face…with a chair.”
“It took Mom and Dad 3 tries before they had the perfect kid.”
Let it be known that you’re the best with this lighthearted line. If you’re the youngest member of your family, drop this line to remind everyone of your role! The youngest sibling is believed to be the most fun-loving (and attention-seeking) person in the family, so you can probably get away with saying any type of insult without getting into trouble. “Mom told me I’m her favorite.” “And you wonder why I’m the golden child…”
“Your forehead looks like an acorn.”
Compare your sister to something silly to get the laughs going. Initiate an epic back-and-forth exchange by blurting out any food, object, or character, then telling your sister she reminds you of it. Choosing random and wacky things is guaranteed to create an enjoyable experience! “Your neck looks like a Twinkie.” “Your face looks like mashed potatoes.”
“You’re the type of person to trip over a banana peel.”
Use the iconic “you’re the type of person…” meme to tease your sister. Browse social media to get inspiration for this one-liner, or take a few minutes to think of one on your own. Focus on harmless quirks or silly habits that your sister has to really hit home and deliver a savage roast. “You’re the type of person to respond to spam emails.” “You’re the type of person to measure your sleep with a ruler.” “You’re the type of person to wash their hands after a shower.” “You’re the type of person to look up and down before crossing the road.”
“Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.”
Tell your sister to step back if she’s being nosy. If she’s having a hard time minding her own business (or she’s dropping unsolicited advice), cut to the chase with a clever comeback. All of these lines are savage, silly, and playful, but throw in a few emojis if you’re sending them over text to show that you’re just teasing. “Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business????” “Maybe you should get a life instead of being all up in mine????” “Did I invite you to my BBQ? Then why are you all up in my grill?”
“You’re as interesting as a piece of paper.”
Telling someone they don’t have a personality is the ultimate insult. If your sister is lively and outgoing, use this one-liner to add some entertainment to your lives. It’s a silly and sarcastic way to roast her, without striking a personal chord. “If you were a spice, you’d be flour.” “Be still. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.” “Your face is fine. Your personality on the other hand…”
“You’re so ugly you’d make a Happy Meal cry.”
Drop a classic “you’re so ugly…” line to prompt loads of laughter. These silly one-liners have been around for decades—and for good reason! They’re silly, savage, and guaranteed to create some entertaining moments with your sister. “You’re so ugly that they named the day you were born the uglypocalypse.” “You’re so ugly that when Mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.”
“It’d be awesome if you used glue instead of Chapstick.”
Use this silly one-liner if your sister won’t shut up. If your sister is chatting your ear off, tell her to be quiet in a funny and creative way. This line might be a little harsh for a younger sibling, but if she’s older, game on! Just deliver it with a friendly expression on your face to convey that you’re teasing her. “Let’s play a game. For the rest of the week, don’t talk to me. “I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?”
“I believed in evolution until I met you.”
Reference the universe to really roast your sister. If you’re in the middle of an intense roast-off, drop any of these lines to win the battle. They’re creative and straight up savage—and sure to create a “mic drop” moment! “You’re proof that God has a sense of humor.” “I’d love to insult you, but it won’t be as good as what nature did.”
“Don’t worry about me…Worry about your grades.”
Bring up academics for a classic burn. If you really want to up the ante, grill your sister with this epic one-liner. It’s a great insult if you and your sister are both stellar students, but it might be too personal (or offensive) if she’s falling behind in school. “I’m not a nerd. I’m just smarter than you.” “Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.” “You’re the reason why they put warning labels on everything.”
You’re more useless than a clear crayon.”
Pull out all the stops with these sharp comebacks. Feeling extra, extra savage? Catch your sister off guard with any of these shocking lines. They’re perfect to drop in the middle of a roast-off if you want to show your sister that you’re the roast queen. “You’re as useless as the ‘g’ in lasagna.” “Even Bob Ross would call you a mistake.” “You’re the human equivalent of a participation award.”
“You want to hear a good joke? Your life.”
Master the art of roasting with this iconic one-liner. There’s not much to say about this line except that it’s a shut down. Your sister will be too stunned to speak, and she’ll probably remember it for the rest of her life. “You have your entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?” “I was going to make a joke about your life, but it looks like life got there first.”
“I’m the main product. You’re the spare parts.”
Tease your sister by saying you’re the better twin. Looking for a unique and savage way to roast your twin sister? Tell her that she’s just your backup to create a timeless shared joke between the two of you. “I’m the new and improved version of you.” “I was so good looking that Mom had me cloned.”
“You’re more disappointing than a bowl of salad.”
Elevate your insult game with these unique lines. For an unexpectedly savage roast, use any of the following lines to tease your sister. They’re extremely creative and cutthroat, so be sure to deliver them in a casual, playful way to avoid coming off as insulting. “Life is full of disappointments. I just added you to the list.” “Mom and Dad said we could be anything. I guess you chose disappointment.”
“How do you still have friends?”
Use this epic comeback to shut down the conversation. Introduce friends into your insult to shock your sister into silence. Like an actual roast, adding extra sauce can create a more flavorful experience (and complement your roasted sister perfectly). “That’s why no one wants to be your friend.” “You’re lucky you’re my sister. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be friends with you????”
“You’re so fake, even Barbie is jealous.”
Spit out an iconic burn if your sister snitches on you. If she’s a certified tattletale, feel free to drop any of these lines. They’re the perfect blend of savage and silly, but avoid using them if your sister is much younger or extra sensitive. “If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.” “Are you talking to me? Sorry, I thought you only talked behind my back.”
“I forgot the world revolves around you. My bad!”
Blow off some steam with this line if your sister is being selfish. If you’re playfully arguing with your sister, throw out any of these hilarious one-liners to add extra drama and entertainment. Highlighting your sister’s behavior in a silly way can make for some memorable moments together. “Are you a lobster? Then why are you being so shellfish?” "There’s a new app called ‘being a decent person.’ Maybe you should download it.” “Funny, I just got back from the center of the universe, and I didn’t see you anywhere.”
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