- Use ungendered words like “stunning” or “cool” when talking about their appearance.
- Comment on how they choose to present themselves, like clothing and hairstyles, rather than things they can't control.
- Compliment their personality or skills if you’re unsure about physical compliments.
”You look wonderful today.”
Use words that aren’t associated with gender. Words like “wonderful” or “cool” work well for people of any gender identity. Avoid using words like “handsome” or “beautiful,” which might have male or female connotations. Some people might be okay with these, but it may make other people uncomfortable. Lean toward more general adjectives if you’re complimenting someone’s looks. “That’s a fantastic look on you.” “Your outfit is so cool!” “You’re absolutely stunning.” “You’ve got a great attitude.”
”You look great with pink hair!”
Complimenting someone’s hair is a simple but meaningful gesture. Somebody’s haircut or hair color can be empowering for them, and taking time to notice and comment on it can be affirming. Notice the cut or the color, and tailor your compliment accordingly. “Is your haircut new? It’s so stylish.” “That buzzcut is sick.” “I love the way you did your hair today.”
“I’m obsessed with your jacket.”
Comment on the way someone expresses themself with their clothes. Clothing is a huge component of the way someone chooses how to present themself. What somebody wears is a powerful expression of their identity, and it can mean quite a lot for someone to notice that. “That skirt is stunning.” “Your socks are so cute!” “Woah, your necklace is so nice.” “I need to know where you got that bag!”
“Your makeup skills are on-point.”
Makeup is becoming more gender-neutral, so feel free to comment on it! Gone are the days when makeup was just for people who identify as women. Nowadays, women, men, nonbinary people–anyone can rock a good cut crease. Compliment a specific part of someone’s makeup that you like. “Your eyeliner is killer.” “How do you get your lipstick so clean?” “Did your brows take long? I’m in awe of them!”
”Your tattoos are so cool.”
A thoughtful comment on a tattoo can be appreciated by anyone. Tattoos are often incredibly personal, and have always been tied to countercultures of all sorts. Many people like to proudly display their tattoos, and you shouldn’t be afraid to admire them. Just be sure to stay tactful and respect their boundaries if they’d prefer not to talk about their ink. “I love that tattoo, when did you get it?” “That’s a beautiful design. Who did it?” “Those roses on your arm look great!”
“Your eyes are the most beautiful shade of green.”
You can still compliment a nonbinary person’s physical features. Tactful comments on the color of someone’s eyes or their bright smile are reliable and thoughtful. Avoid comments geared more toward features associated with gender, like physique. “I’m in love with your dimples.” “Your jawline is so nice.” “You’ve got the cutest nose.”
”You’re so kind.”
Everyone likes a thoughtful compliment that goes past appearances. These compliments usually hit harder because they focus on the parts of someone that makes a person a person, like their sense of humor, intelligence, creativity, or empathy. These things aren’t dependent on someone’s gender, and are easy to compliment. “I love how you’re so down for anything.” “You’re so funny!” “I admire how much you care about other people.” “You’re a great listener, you know that?”
”You’re incredibly good at that.”
If someone is good at something, take notice! Skills take a lot of time and energy to hone, and recognizing that someone has taken that time and energy can make a profound compliment, without having to comment on anything to do with gender. Plus, complimenting a skill automatically makes for a personalized, specific compliment, which makes it that much more special. “You play guitar like nobody else!” “Your artwork is incredible.” “How did you get so good at cooking?”
“I can tell you work really hard.”
Praising someone’s actions can go a long way. We all work hard to achieve things, and we all make a choice to do the things we do each day, so when someone comes along and notices, it can be a great boost of confidence. “You must have studied quite a bit for this test, you did so well!” “Thank you for coming, it means a lot.” “It was so nice of you to help that woman.”
“Hearing your laugh always makes me happy.”
Say something nice about their non-physical traits. Compliments about people’s appearances are pretty common, but other qualities like someone’s laugh or their voice don’t get enough attention. You can also comment on the way they carry themselves or even just their vibes. “Your voice is so calming.” “You move so gracefully.” “You’ve got a good vibe.”
“Oh, I’m sorry! I won’t say that kind of thing anymore.”
Respect their boundaries if they indicate they’re uncomfortable. Some people might not appreciate certain compliments. Even if those compliments seem harmless or genuine, your comment might not be welcome, regardless of someone’s gender. If someone tells you that something you said made them uncomfortable or asserts their boundaries, apologize and make an effort to take note. “I’ll try to remember that you don’t like that kind of thing. Thanks for telling me!” “Excuse me, can I compliment your outfit?” “How do you like to be complimented?”
Comments
0 comment