35 Qualities of a Good Man
He’s courageous. A man who has courage goes after what he wants, even if he feels self-doubt or fear. He’s willing to face challenges or discomfort if it means doing what’s right or what’s best for him and the people he loves. For example, he might have the courage to speak out against bullying, admit when he’s wrong, seek help when needed, or pursue a challenging goal despite obstacles.
He’s adaptable. Adaptability means being able to adjust to new circumstances with a relatively positive attitude, even if the change presents new challenges. For a man, this means that he can pick himself up and try again, even if things don’t go his way. He might need some time to adjust to his new reality, but he’ll work through his feelings and get there eventually. In a relationship, this quality is important because an adaptable partner will be more equipped to navigate life's ups and downs with their significant other, making it easier to work through problems and find solutions as a team.
He’s reliable and consistent. A man who’s reliable and consistent will fulfill his commitments and keep any promises he makes. His reliability extends to all facets of his life, including day-to-day tasks and lifelong commitments. By being consistently reliable, he makes it easier for his partners to trust him and build a lasting relationship with him. His partner will always know what type of behavior to expect from him and feel safe within the relationship, as opposed to a man with inconsistent, rollercoaster-like behavior.
He’s compassionate and kind. Unsurprisingly, one of the most important qualities of a good man (or person!) is kindness and compassion. Kindness means that a man treats people with consideration, care, and helpfulness, even when he’s not receiving anything in return. He continues to be kind even in times of stress or challenges, and he does so out of a genuine concern for the wellbeing of others. Compassion, similarly, involves having empathy for someone else’s situation and genuinely wanting to offer support. When others are struggling, a good man responds with kindness and comfort. A good litmus test for kindness in a person is to observe how they treat someone that they’re not obligated to treat kindly, like a waiter at a restaurant. Do they smile at the server and talk politely to them? Do they thank them for their service and leave a reasonable tip? If an issue does arise at the restaurant, do they address it with understanding or anger?
He’s empathetic. Similar to compassion and kindness, empathy is an important marker of emotional maturity in a man. Empathy is the ability to put oneself in the position of another person and attempt to understand how they might feel. Having this quality shows that a man can think of others before himself, and an empathetic man is more likely to make his partner feel understood, supported, and loved. For example, let’s say that you came home from a tough day at work and told your husband or boyfriend about it. An unempathetic man might fail to ask you any follow-up questions, shrug it off, or tell you that it doesn’t seem like a big deal. An empathetic man, on the other hand, would express concern and ask questions to understand the situation and how he might help—even if he doesn’t personally relate to what happened. Empathy can also extend to positive situations. For example, maybe you love to watch cooking shows, but your partner has no interest in them. An empathetic partner would still sit down and sometimes watch these shows with you simply because they know they're important to you (and you should do the same for them with their interests!). As marriage and family therapist Allen Wagner explains, one of the main ways “that a person can demonstrate love is their ability to be open to the other person’s thoughts…If you want to show somebody that you love them, sometimes it means understanding why certain things have a certain meaning to them and finding that beautiful, even if it’s not something that historically or subjectively you’ve found meaning in.”
He’s generous. Being a generous man means being willing to give freely to others without any expectation of getting something in return. Generosity can extend to the giving of money, objects, resources, time, emotional support, and more. By showing generosity to others, a man is displaying other traits like compassion and kindness. Plus, he’s making other people in his life feel valued and cared for—especially in a romantic relationship where the generosity goes both ways, and both parties benefit from mutual giving and receiving in the partnership.
He’s patient. You know what they say—patience is a virtue! Patience is a good quality in any person, including men. It applies to both personal and professional relationships, and it helps to maintain a sense of safety and calm in those relationships. For example, a patient person is more likely to make their friends and loved ones feel understood, while an impatient person may have those around them feel like they’re walking on eggshells. This doesn’t mean that patient men can never raise issues in their relationships—they absolutely can, and that’s completely okay! However, they’re more likely to express their frustration in calm, understanding, and modulated ways that don’t worsen the situation or make others feel bad. Patient men also understand that these issues don’t necessarily need immediate solutions. They’re more capable of giving things time and space, as needed, in order to land on a better solution and outcome for everyone involved.
He demonstrates gratitude. Being grateful means actively acknowledging and appreciating all of the positive things in one’s life. Even if there are also challenges in a man’s life, it’s important that pauses to notice the things that he does have, like his relationships, health, valuable experiences, and basic necessities like food, clean water, and housing. It’s also important for people to express gratitude for all they have even if they worked hard to get them and feel as if they earned them—lots of people have earned or deserved things that they haven’t actually gotten, and recognizing this is a great sign of character and maturity.
He’s faithful and honest. A man who is faithful, honest, loyal, and committed will consistently follow through on his word. He’s open about his feelings, avoids deceiving others, and supports his partner through their ups and downs. In simple terms? He says what he means, and he means what he says. This trust and transparency are fundamental to establishing a solid foundation for his relationship with others and himself. The idea of faithfulness also extends to committed relationships. When a man has agreed to be exclusive with his significant other, breaking that promise and engaging in cheating or infidelity would be a sign that that man is not consistently loyal or trustworthy.
He’s authentic and unafraid to be himself. A good man follows his own definition of manhood and masculinity, without feeling pressure to cave into societal pressures or the opinions of the other people in his life. He lives according to his own values and belief systems and honors his emotions and the feelings that they bring out in him. He doesn’t put on masks or pretenses to please others, and these traits allow for him to be his true self and bring people into his life who care for him exactly as he is. It’s important to note, however, that staying true to his own opinions and beliefs does not mean that a good man will be unkind to others who do not share those same values. A good man will still treat others respectfully even if they disagree or have different perspectives.
He has a good sense of humor. Men with a good sense of humor aren’t concerned about taking themselves too seriously—they can laugh at themselves and not get too upset over the little things. They may also be able to see the lighter side of different situations and bring humor to difficult situations, which can often be a nice escape and touch of levity (although it’s also important to recognize when a matter needs to be taken seriously). More commonly, having a good sense of humor is interpreted as being funny. While it’s certainly not required to be a comedian to be a good man, it is important in a relationship to have a romantic partner that makes you laugh—even if you’re the only person who gets their sense of humor.
He has good manners. Having good manners means acting with care, consideration, politeness, and respect toward others. Someone with good manners may show “gentlemanly” and chivalrous behaviors like opening doors for others, making an effort to arrive to places on time, listening actively to others, using polite language, and refraining from interrupting others. All of these actions are signs of mannerful respect that indicate a good man. However, it’s key that men are chivalrous not just toward women, and not solely because they perceive them as weak and unable to take care of themselves. Instead, good men ought to be kind and polite to everyone—regardless of gender—because they genuinely care about the feelings and wellbeing of others.
He’s confident but humble. A high-quality man is confident and self-assured. He recognizes his own strengths and abilities without being arrogant, and he can acknowledge his weaknesses without feeling down on himself. Even if he has insecurities, he works on developing his own self image and continues to believe that he deserves good things in life. These qualities can make him more attractive to others. In his platonic and romantic relationships, they can inspire more confidence and self-esteem in others.
He has strong morals. In the most basic sense, a good person knows the difference between what’s right and what’s wrong. They adhere to those morals (even when it’s difficult or inconvenient) and go out of their way to be kind to others even when they have no personal stake in the situation. For example, a good man with a good moral compass might notice that a woman in his workplace is getting talked down to by the men in the office, even though she has the same role and experience as them. He would then call out the men for their misogyny, even if he might face job insecurity or social marginalization as a result.
He shows strong integrity and character. To have integrity and character as a man means to consistently be honest, accountable, trustworthy, and committed to doing the right and moral thing regardless of how he might be affected by it. In other words, a good man doesn’t just say what he feels and believes to be right—he acts on what is right. If you’re trying to determine whether someone is a good guy (or future husband material), licensed counselor Rachel Eddins recommends focusing on “concrete data, like his behaviors and actions,” not just what he says. “Ask yourself, ‘What does his behavior tell you? Does he reach out to spend time with you? Is he present when we’re together?’”
He’s respectful to himself and to others. A good man demonstrates both self-respect and a respectful attitude toward others. Facing inwardly, he values himself, stays true to his core beliefs, and takes responsibility for his own choices. He treats himself with love and care, even on the bad days. Extending outwardly, a respectful man values and acknowledges the inherent worth of others—regardless of their gender. He actively listens to their perspectives, treats them with courtesy, avoids any behaviors that could cause harm, and values their feelings regardless of whether he personally agrees with them. As Wagner puts it, the “key ingredient of a lasting relationship has to be respect…Respect in that you understand the value of what your life would be if you didn’t have that person, what they give to you, and that you can verbalize that.” “Everyone needs to know what their value is,” continues Wagner. “That’s a common thing that I see, that people feel invalidated and hyper-criticized…When a partner feels safe and respected and that they have value, that they’d be irreplaceable, you have a lot more wiggle room in being assertive.” “If you don’t respect your partner or you don’t feel that they carry their weight,” warns Wagner, “the partner is going to feel that, and they’re going to be unhappy. But the other person is going to feel that too. Respect is a huge issue in a lasting relationship.”
He’s committed to bettering himself and his relationships. A good man doesn’t look at life as a competition to win. Instead, he prioritizes becoming the best version of himself for his own health and for his relationships. He works on improving his personal qualities, skills, and character to better embody traits of positive masculinity, like accountability, self-discipline, intellect, and emotional intelligence. This dedication to self-improvement also applies to his relationships. He’s committed to making his romantic relationships last (unless there are major issues between him and his partner). He’s willing to communicate with his partner to work through conflict, identify each others’ strengths and weaknesses, and mutually commit to growing together as a couple. According to a study done at the University of Texas, there’s actually no objective compatibility between couples who are happy and those who are unhappy. Instead, the study found that the couples who feel the most content and warmth in their relationships say that their dedication to making the relationship work as a team far outweighed their natural compatibility.
He’s willing to take initiative. Men are often taught that they’re meant to be leaders, but that doesn’t mean that every guy has to be an alpha—quite the opposite, in fact! Rather than being about dominance or power, being a true leader is about guiding and inspiring others. A man with these positive qualities can take the initiative and make decisions while still considering the needs, wishes, and feelings of those around him (including his romantic partner). On a micro level, a good man in a relationship will take the initiative to plan dates, respectfully start up conversations, and take the load off of his partner when it’s needed. Importantly, however, a good leader and initiator knows when to take back, delegate, and support others in taking the lead. This approach is more likely to foster equality, mutual respect, and empowerment within any kind of relationship—professional or personal.
He’s willing to take accountability for his actions. Taking accountability for his own actions is one of the most important traits of a high-quality man—and one of the most overlooked! To take accountability means to fully accept responsibility for his actions and the consequences that they’ve had—whether intentional or not. A good man will do this without making excuses or placing the blame on others (even when it’s uncomfortable), and he’ll do what he can to actively make amends and rectify any negative situation that he’s contributed to.
He doesn’t run from his problems. When a good man faces challenges in his life—especially those that he inadvertently caused—he directly confronts the problem instead of running away from or avoiding it. He knows that, however difficult, facing adversity is a way that people build character and strength. And, being able to deal with one’s mistakes is an important step toward growth and maturity. For example, let’s say that a man has amassed some credit card debt that he can’t afford to pay off right away. Rather than beating himself up over the mistake, ignoring the issue, or letting himself default on payments and let the interest grow uninhibited, a responsible man will make a plan to pay it back. He might create a budget or payment plan, or even work overtime or take on a temporary part-time position in order to make it work.
He’s detail-oriented and pays attention to the small stuff. A good guy does his best to stay on top of things and keep things organized in his life. He ensures accuracy and thoroughness in his daily tasks, and he pays close attention to minor details that others might miss. The same quality applies (and is hugely important) in his relationships (especially when it comes to winning over the person of his dreams). In a romantic relationship, it’s often the recognition of the little things that count and make another person feel seen—like putting on your partner’s favorite song or remembering their favorite soda and picking it up the next time you’re at the store. Dating coach John Keegan also highlights the importance of being detail-oriented when it comes to treating a significant other right. “For example,” starts Keegan, “you could show up with small things they like, such as little chocolates if they love chocolate.” “[Anything] to say, ‘Hey, before I showed up today, I thought about you,’” continues Keegan. “Just a little thing, nothing major, but that says, ‘I thought about you, and I know this makes you smile and makes you feel special.’ So look for those little things that are easy to do, that make them feel special, and that let them know what you’re thinking about.”
He has strong listening and communication skills. Across the board, studies on relationships (romantic and platonic) agree that active listening and communication are fundamental parts of a lasting and healthy connection. For a good man, it’s important to be a good listener, avoid interrupting others, and practice active listening habits like nodding along, making eye contact, and giving someone your full attention when they’re speaking. Someone who prefers the sound of their own voice or is convinced that they’re always right, regardless of gender, is unlikely to make for an empathetic and equal partner. On the communication side, it’s important in a relationship to be able to express both positive and negative feelings. Being able to openly communicate one’s emotions and feelings is a sign of emotional availability, and it helps to form a deeper emotional connection with one’s partner. Only through this type of communication can a pair effectively resolve conflicts, prevent misunderstandings, and mutually support one another.
He approaches conflict with peace in mind. Arguments and conflicts come up—that’s part of relationships, and it’s part of life. A good friend or partner, however, will bring up issues with the ultimate goal of resolution and mutual understanding. They’ll prioritize cooperation in a disagreement, as well as understanding and empathy, in order to find a solution that works for both parties. They’ll listen attentively and both consider and respect the other person’s perspective—even if it doesn’t align with their own. This approach differs from a more aggressive tactic where one person is attempting to win or dominate the argument. When it comes to how and where conflict is brought up, a good man won’t make a big confrontational scene in public. But he also won’t be afraid to stand up for himself when the time and setting are appropriate.
He’s willing to fight injustice when he encounters it. We know that being a good guy means having a strong moral compass, so it stands to reason that a good guy will also act on that moral compass, meaning that he’ll stand up against injustice, oppression, or abuse if he sees it. This trait could manifest as a man attending protests and engaging in other types of activism that promote causes he believes in. It could also manifest in day-to-day situations where a man refuses to be a bystander, such as interceding when another guy acts out of line with a woman or other individual (even if the guy is one of his friends).
He’s intellectually and emotionally intelligent. There’s more than one way to be intelligent, and a study from the Hanken School of Economics in Finland has actually found that the smarter the man, the more likely he is to get married and stay married. But what does it really mean to be an intelligent man? A man with intellect and curiosity will have a genuine interest in learning new things and bringing new perspectives into conversations. He’ll be willing to grow and adapt with his partner, discovering new things about each other and navigating life’s complexities together. Emotional intelligence is equally important in a man or partner. Emotional intelligence (or EI) is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of the people around you. It traditionally involves self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. People with high emotional intelligence are more likely to accept responsibility, move on from mistakes, set boundaries when needed, share their feelings with others, search for mutually agreeable solutions, and hold back any judgment of others.
He’s self-sufficient and independent. It’s healthy to have a moderate amount of independence for any person and relationship, and it’s crucial to be able to manage one’s own life and responsibilities. Men, in particular, are often not conditioned to develop the same life skills as women—which may result in a common relationship tactic known as weaponized incompetence. In order to avoid the issues that this may cause in a relationship, it’s important for a man to be self-sufficient and to enter a relationship not out of neediness, but out of a desire to share a mutually enriching and passionate experience with another person. Independence is also a highly attractive trait to potential partners, as it shows that a person has the confidence and skills to maintain their own life. In a relationship, however, it’s important to strike a healthy balance between each partner having their personal and shared lives within the relationship.
He’s financially responsible. Like it or not, it’s important for a man to make smart financial choices for himself and his future partner and family (if a long-term relationship is part of his goals). In order to be financially responsible, a person should have a budget or process for managing their own money in a way that provides for their best interests. Their financial planning should also involve amassing savings, if possible, in order to protect themselves and their assets.
He’s ambitious and works hard to achieve his goals. Ambition is a very attractive quality in a man—or person of any gender—but it can show up in a variety of ways. Fundamentally, ambition is a desire to achieve one’s goals and improve one’s life, whether that’s through finances, career, emotional intelligence, spiritual fulfillment, physical challenges, intellectual growth, or something else! This drive is attractive to others because it indicates a certain resilience in a person, as well as a forward-thinking mindset and commitment to self-improvement. “Ambition shows an eagerness about life,” asserts Dr. Chloe Carmichael, a licensed psychologist specializing in relationship issues. “The opposite of ambition would be indifference, so, somebody who has ambition is somebody that is ready and willing to engage with life. And people who are ready and willing to engage with life and the world around them? That includes the people around them.” Dr. Carmichael goes on to explain that you would naturally “rather be with a partner who has a zeal and excitement about the world around them and the people around them and ideas for how their own life could grow because, presumably, that would then extend to you. They could have an excitement and an energy about you, and you could potentially also benefit from their ambition.”
He takes care of his physical and mental health. A man who’s committed to being the best version of himself will take care to prioritize his health as much as possible. When we say health, however, we don’t mean that you have to be a gym bro to be a good man! A good man will take a holistic approach to health, meaning that he looks after his emotional, physical, and spiritual health. Usually, this means eating nutritiously, engaging in regular physical activity, reflecting spiritually, and seeing a therapist for any symptoms of anxiety or depression.
He has a genuine love of learning. People who seek out opportunities to learn throughout their lives are more likely to be emotionally intelligent, confident, adaptable, and mentally healthy. When a man loves to learn and has a curiosity about the world around him, he’s really making the most out of his life. He’s more likely to be open-minded, extrinsically motivated, and able to persevere through challenges—all of which are important traits in a good man. A man with a genuine love of learning might be found regularly reading books and articles, listening to podcasts, taking up new hobbies, or engaging in stimulating discussions with others.
He’s a team player. A man who’s a team player will actively participate in and contribute to group efforts. He cares more about collective success than his individual glory or recognition, and he recognizes that the success of his team is also his own success. His ego doesn’t get in the way, and he’s able to collaborate with and uplift other members of his team, regardless of gender roles or societal expectations. In romantic relationships, this quality is hugely important as it’s more likely for a team-oriented partner to focus on working with their partner toward conflict resolution rather than arguing with a “me vs. them” mentality.
He’s family-oriented. Being family-oriented means that a man cares about being close to his family members and supporting them as much as he can. This attitude extends to his own children, spouse, and any other family members who aren’t related by blood (including close friends or chosen family). A family-oriented man thinks carefully about the legacy he’ll leave behind in his family, as well as the legacy and traditions that were passed down to him through his ancestors. Keep in mind, however, that not everyone is fortunate enough to have a positive and supportive family. In these cases, it’s understandable (and healthy) that a man does not prioritize his toxic or harmful family members. However, he still may display family-oriented traits through his children, spouse, and close friendships.
He has positive male role models and close friendships. A high-value man doesn’t just care about being a good man himself, but he also looks for positive male mentors and builds friendships with other high-quality and emotionally intelligent men. He seeks out role models and men that he wants to be like and that fulfill his version of healthy masculinity. If possible, he meets with them consistently and develops a mentor-mentee relationship or a tight brotherhood with these men.
He supports his partner’s career and achievements. It’s important for any partner in any relationship to support their significant other’s dreams, goals, work, and achievements. A good man will celebrate all of his partner’s achievements—from small wins like successfully cooking a new recipe to major life accomplishments like completing a university degree. He’ll be the first to encourage his S.O. to take a big leap to pursue their dreams, and he’ll pick up the slack at home without complaints if needed. Being your partner’s biggest cheerleader (in stronger areas and weaker ones) is likely to significantly strengthen your relationship. One study found that celebrating each others’ achievements as partners leads to greater overall relationship satisfaction. Unfortunately, women in heterosexual relationships are statistically more likely to feel pressured to quit their jobs, largely due to the feeling that it’s their duty to bring up their children (more so than it is their husband’s duty). Even when men are supportive of their wives working while having children, they’re less likely to compromise their own work schedule or offer to help out more with the children so that their wives can progress at work. In a nutshell, a quality man won’t just support his wife’s right to work if she so chooses—he’ll also make his own compromises to ensure that the couple is making equal and equitable efforts and compromises.
He makes an effort with his partner’s friends and family. It’s more likely for women in a heterosexual relationship to sacrifice their own social lives in order to slot into their boyfriends’ or husbands’ friend group, but the same can’t be said for men in heterosexual relationships. However, friendships are extremely significant relationships in one’s life, and, in many ways, they’re just as important as romantic relationships. A quality man will not only make sure that his partner has time to see their friends, but he’ll also make a consistent effort to get to know them and socialize with them. Similarly, it’s important for a man to make a sincere effort to get to know their partner’s family. By developing a relationship with his spouse’s family, a man is demonstrating respect for his spouse and will better be able to understand their personality and upbringing.
What does it mean to be a good man?
A good man has strong morals and acts with respect and empathy for others. There’s no one right way to be a good man—nor is there one right way to be a good woman or person—and everyone has flaws. Different cultural and personal perspectives may also influence what different people include in their definition of a “good man.” That being said, most people would likely characterize a good man as someone who has integrity, shows respect to others, and acts ethically when faced with different situations. In general, “good men” (and good people) have strong moral compasses that guide their actions and interactions. While this moral compass doesn’t mean they’ll make the right choice 100% of the time, they do actively work to better the world and the lives of those around them, and they take accountability for any hurt they’ve done (whether intentional or otherwise).
How to Appreciate a Good Man
Tell him how much you appreciate him. “Appreciation is one of the lubricants of relationships and one of the things that really helps a relationship to blossom and grow,” says relationship coach Maya Diamond. You don’t always need a grand gesture—even the simplest verbal expression of appreciation and gratitude can go a long way with your man. When he does something kind or thoughtful for you or others, make sure to verbally acknowledge it in a clear and direct way. Not only will you make your man feel more appreciated and loved, but you’re also positively reinforcing his behaviors (which is more likely to make them happen again!). For example, if your man bought you a bouquet of your favorite flowers for no reason, you might say something like, “Thank you so much for the flowers, I love how thoughtful you are, and it makes me feel so loved that you went out of your way to do something kind for me.” Clinical psychologist Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D., affirms this advice, saying that “men…want to be appreciated for what they do and they want to be respected. Women tend to focus on things they don’t like and take men on as projects to fix them up. Men don’t really respond to criticism; they respond to compliments and affirmation.” “You can tell him what you do like when he does it,” continues Dr. Schewitz, “and say, ‘I’d love more of that.’ Men are naturally protectors and providers, so they want to make women happy. You just tell them how, and they’ll usually do it.” Diamond also recommends giving your man “appreciation and compliments regarding things that he does, things he says, and ways in which he’s responsive to your requests. For example, saying, ‘Wow, it made me feel so special when you planned that date for me. I’m so grateful for your thoughtfulness and care in doing that.’” EXPERT TIP Maya Diamond, MA Maya Diamond, MA Relationship Coach Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 15 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009. Maya Diamond, MA Maya Diamond, MA Relationship Coach Cater your appreciation to your partner’s love language. Verbalize your appreciation, but also show it through whatever your man’s love language is. If your partner’s love language is acts of service, show your appreciation with an act of service. If your partner’s love language is touch, show your partner with touch.
Show him that you’re genuinely interested in his needs. If your man possesses a lot of the qualities of a good romantic partner, then it’s likely that he pays close attention to the needs of others (including yours!). However, it’s important to make sure that his needs are also being acknowledged, prioritized, and fulfilled. Maybe you noticed that the tank in his trunk is running out of gas and you fill it up. Need met! Or, maybe he had a long day at work, so you set aside time in your evening for plenty of cuddles. Remember that showing an interest in your partner’s needs also means showing an interest in their love language. Even if your natural way of giving love is physical touch, for example, your partner’s preferred way of receiving love might be through gifts. So, you might give your partner a new shirt he’s had his eye on or write him a love letter to show your appreciation. Diamond also recommends ideas like “planning a really fun date, getting him something that he’s really been wanting, or creating an experience for him—like a surprise or surprise birthday party.” EXPERT TIP John Keegan John Keegan Dating Coach John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. John Keegan John Keegan Dating Coach The best way to show someone you care is by paying attention to them. Pay attention to this person and really listen to them when you’re with them. Don’t be distracted by your phone or extraneous things going on. Be really focused on them—that’s the number one thing you can do to put effort into the relationship.
Give him space to have his own life and interests. As much as you might want to spend all of your time with your romantic partner, it’s important for both parties in a relationship to maintain their separate identities, hobbies, and lives. Make sure to allow your partner to have his own time to explore his interests, spend time with his friends, and engage in personal self-care practices that help him reconnect with himself. For example, you might say something like, “Christina told me that some of the guys are having a game night on Saturday. I know we’d talked about going to a movie that night, but we already have a date night on Friday and you need time with your friends. I’ll take the kids myself this time while you have some time with them, if you want.”
In a Nutshell
Good men often display empathy and honesty, among other traits. Positive qualities such as these are important for any man (or person) to cultivate a good life for themselves and good relationships with others. However, it’s okay if a person doesn’t have all of the qualities associated with a good man—nobody’s perfect! The most important quality, arguably, is that a man is willing to work on himself and be the best person that he can be. This commitment to self-development and security in his own self is a great sign that a man is leading a positive and fulfilling life and that he’ll make for an excellent partner and human.
Frequently Asked Questions About Being a Good Man
What is a high-quality man? The term “high-quality man” “or “high-value man” refers to a man who has positive attributes that make him attractive to and respected by the people whom he interacts with. Often, high-quality men are described as having a strong character and a sense of integrity. They’re also likely to be emotionally intelligent, reliable, responsible, and empathetic. They prioritize their own personal growth and commitment to their values, and they care deeply about respecting the perspectives of others and making meaningful contributions to their communities and relationships.
What does it mean to be a manly man? Historically, being a “manly man” means to embody traits that are stereotypically and traditionally associated with masculinity—like strength, courage, determination, decisiveness, virility, and dominance. It’s important to note, however, that while these traits are certainly not negatives, the definition of what it means to be “masculine” or “manly” has shifted as mainstream society moves away from stereotypical (and sometimes harmful) gender roles. For example, people of any gender can be “strong,” but being a “strong man” doesn’t just mean being stoic or physically strong. In fact, many people would now classify a “strong man” as someone who’s able to express his feelings and be emotionally vulnerable.
Is it attractive to be a kind man? Yes, kindness is a highly attractive trait in any man or person. Many people value kindness as an important quality in their friends, partners, and anyone else that they share their life with. Studies show that women, in particular, tend to rate kindness as one of the most important traits in a long-term partner, often prioritizing it over traditional measures of attractiveness like physical appearance. A 2019 study, for instance, surveyed over 2,700 people in several different countries and found that “kindness” was named as the top priority in a long-term partner (over physical attractiveness and financial prospects).
What should I look for in a husband? When you’re looking for a husband, you should first consider what values are important to you and that you want your partner to match, which may be different from what your friends or family members prioritize in their own lives or in their spouses. For example, “if you’re somebody for whom marriage and kids are important to you,” offers Dr. Carmichael, “then you’d be looking for a romantic partner that shares those goals…Or if traveling a lot and being able to go to a new country at least once a year is important you, then you’d be looking for a partner that has an openness to adventure and to travel to other cultures.” Apart from taking your personal values into consideration, you should look for general positive qualities like trustworthiness, reliability, respect, loyalty, kindness, and open communication. All of these traits are commonly recommended by psychology and relationship experts as building blocks for a strong relationship.
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