Start with a sweet salutation.
Open with "Dear darling" or "To my love” to set the tone. If these phrases feel too stiff or old-fashioned, using a special nickname or pet name can be sweet. Don't be afraid to get a little mushy! You want her to feel special and loved right off the bat. If you aren't sure what to use, don't get hung up on this part! “Dear Penelope” works just fine.
Aim for a natural tone but don’t be too casual.
If you’re too casual, the letter won’t feel special or sincere. Asking someone to be your girlfriend is a big deal! Aim for a polished vibe that reflects that. You don't need to be perfect, but remind yourself as you're writing that this is an important moment. Try to avoid slang, abbreviations, and jargon for the most part. Also, make sure your grammar, spelling, and punctuation are on point! For example, instead of, "Hey bae what up?! I'm out here chillin," try, "I hope you're having a lovely day today. I'm doing well but I miss you so much." Instead of "Boo! omg str8 missin' U round the clock. tbh it's kinda breakin me," try, "I hope you're well! I miss you so much and I can't stop thinking about you."
Tell her that you have something special to say.
Letters are pretty rare so briefly explain why you’re writing one. Don’t drop the big question on her right away, but provide some insight. Maybe it’s easier for you to write down your feelings rather than say them to her directly, or you’re in a long-distance relationship and you want her to have something tangible from you. If you’re too shy to ask her in person, you can say that! Be honest with her.
Explain your feelings for her in detail.
Here’s your chance to make her feel adored and special. Explain in your own words how amazing she is and what she means to you. What do you love about her personality? Is there a special memory that you can talk about? Don’t worry about saying everything perfectly; write from your heart. If you need help focusing, make a list first. That way, you can glance back at it while you’re writing and you won’t leave anything out. You might say, “I think you're the most beautiful girl in the world” or “I love your sense of humor. You make me smile every single day.” Do you two have a special song? You can quote a poem or lyrics if you’re struggling for words.
Ask her to be your girlfriend in a clear, direct way.
If you're too vague, you might not get your point across. Transition to this part of the letter by saying something like, “These are just a few of the reasons why you're so special to me. If you feel the same way, will you be my girlfriend?” Make sure the question is really clear so there’s no confusion. Here are a few more options: "You're the only girl I want. Will you please be my girlfriend?" "I really think we would make an amazing couple. Will you be my girlfriend?" "I know we’ve had feelings for each other for a while, but I want to make our relationship official. Will you be my girlfriend?”
Make it clear that you’d like a response.
You definitely need to get a yes or no answer to this question. Tell her to take as much time as she needs to think it over, but please don’t leave you hanging indefinitely. She can respond with a letter of her own, call/text you, or send an email—whatever she wants. You could even suggest a specific day and time to give you her answer. Try something like: "I understand you need time to think. I'll call you next Monday and hopefully you'll have an answer for me."
Add a few closing words to set her mind at ease.
Tell her it’s okay to say no so she doesn’t feel pressured. If you want to stay friends no matter what she decides, be sure to tell her that now. Stress that whatever her answer is, you’ll understand and that you don’t want her to be afraid to be honest with you.
Sign your first name at the bottom.
Add your last name if you don't know her that well. If you don't sign your first name, she might not know who sent the letter! If you've been crushing on her for a while and she knows it, your last name probably isn't necessary. If there are several people at your school with the same first name as you, it wouldn't hurt to add your last name. Here are some options for signing off: "Sincerely, Derek Cherkashin" "Love, Gabrielle" "Yours forever, Taylor"
Read the letter carefully and fix any errors.
Put it aside and read it with fresh eyes in a day or so. You don’t want any spelling or grammar errors in this! It can help to put it aside for a short time and come back to it later for one last read-through. Does everything look right? Did you explain everything clearly? It can help to read the letter out loud to yourself. It’s easier to identify mistakes and awkward passages that way.
Handwrite the letter to make it feel special.
Handwritten letters can be touched, saved, and cherished. When you look at it like that, emails and texts just can't compete! To make your letter feel even more special, write it on stationary paper or cardstock with a nice fountain pen. These little details might seem insignificant, but she's sure to notice them. Unless your handwriting is extremely messy, it's probably best to avoid typing/printing out this letter. A generic font just won't pack the same emotional punch as your handwriting.
Go with an email if you’re both online a lot.
This is probably best if you met online or email each other frequently. A well-written email can be very meaningful. It might not be tangible like a handwritten letter, but she can still save your email and read it as many times as she wants. Plus, the message will get to her much faster if you email it.
Send the letter via snail mail to be unique.
Address the letter properly, add postage, and send it off. Double check that you’ve copied everything down correctly so you’re sure your letter gets to her! If she lives pretty far away, like in another country, mail it off in person at the post office. Ask the post office clerk to weigh it so you know how much postage to pay. You probably won’t need to fill out a customs form, but it doesn’t hurt to ask.
Hand-deliver it if you don't want to wait.
You'll know for sure she got it and hopefully get a faster answer. This letter is for her eyes only, so leave it at her house or slip it into her locker so no one else sees it. You don't want to pass it to her in class like any old note. Plus, what if your teacher confiscated it? That would be embarrassing!
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