- Make up an excuse for why you can't participate. For example, say you have to wake up early the next day or are meeting up with a friend later.
- Tell them you're the designated driver for the night and therefore need to stay sober.
- If someone continues pressuring you, don't be afraid to be firm. Say, “I said no. Please don’t ask me again."
Make an excuse.
Make something up or use a real excuse as to why you can’t. This could be as simple as needing to get home early or blaming it on your strict parents or a drug test at your job. Keep the excuse short and simple. There’s no need to construct a super complicated lie in this kind of situation. For example: “No thanks, my parents will probably know if I come home high.” “I can’t stay long, I have to go help my dad with something.” “I’m supposed to meet my friend in a few minutes, so I can’t.” “I promised my friend I’d take them home soon.” “My job does routine drug tests, so I’d rather not risk it.”
Use a little humor.
Deflect the situation by making a joke out of it. This works well with people you don’t know or acquaintances who might try to pressure you. Say something that’ll make them laugh, but avoid using derogatory humor so you don’t offend anyone. Say something like: “No thanks, I need all the brain cells I can get.” “Doesn’t that stuff stunt your growth? I’m too short already!” “No thanks. My friends already have enough embarrassing videos of me from when I was drunk.” “I’d love to, but I have to chaperone my friends over there. Who knows what they’ll get up to?”
Change the subject.
Come up with something else to do to divert their attention. If you’re with your friends, suggest doing an activity or grabbing a bite to eat. It might just be the push they need to put down the drugs or alcohol and do something a little safer. Or start talking about an entirely different subject to steer the conversation in a safer direction. For example: “I’m good. Wanna go play basketball?” “No thanks. Let’s go grab some food.” “How about we go and check out the new cafe down the street instead?” “Nah, I’m good. Hey, did you hear about what happened to Billy the other day?” “No thanks. So what do you guys think about taking a trip this summer?”
Offer to be the designated driver.
Let your friends know that you’re staying sober to drive them home. Most people won’t pass up the chance to get a free ride. Be sure to mention this before you go out or meet up with others just so that everyone is on the same page. If they know beforehand, they likely won’t offer you alcohol or drugs later on. Say something like: “Hey guys, I’ll be our DD tonight. No drinking for me!” “I’m all good, I’m staying sober so I can drive everyone home tonight.” “I’m cool with driving tonight so don’t worry about me.” “I think it’s my turn to be DD.”
Act like you’re too busy.
Distract yourself with another activity. Show people that you can’t be bothered to try drugs and alcohol! If you’re at a club, head to the dance floor and bust out your best moves. If you’re at a party, offer to be the DJ and pick a few new songs. Or if you have a friend who supports your decision, strike up a nice, long conversation with them. If someone asks you to try drugs or alcohol, say something like: “No thanks! I’m way too busy!” “And leave the dance floor? Nah, I’m good!” “Sorry, but my friend and I haven’t seen each other in a while and we wanted to catch up.”
Explain the dangers of drugs and alcohol.
Remind others about the risks that come with drugs and alcohol. Keep in mind that this may not get the best reaction from others, and there’s no guarantee that your friends will heed your advice. However, it’s an honest excuse. Avoid coming off as condescending or rude, but don’t be afraid to share your honest feelings. For example: “No thanks. That stuff is so bad for you.” “Haven’t you heard about the kids on the news who died from doing that?” “Your health can get pretty messed up from doing that. I just want to stay safe.” “I heard that your teeth turn super yellow from smoking. So I’d rather not.” “No thanks. It’s really bad for your liver.”
Be honest.
Open up to your friends about why you don’t like drugs and alcohol. This is a good method to use if it’s a close friend who’s trying to pressure you. People are more likely to respect your decision if you tell it to them honestly and straightforwardly. For example: “No thanks. I just really don’t like the taste/smell.” “My parents would kill me if they found out.” “I could get kicked off the team for doing that.” “I've decided to make some lifestyle changes so I won't be drinking at this time.” “My uncle did drugs in high school and I saw what it did to him. I’d rather not have that happen to me.”
Keep saying no.
Continue to turn them down firmly. You might sound like a broken record, but eventually, the person pressuring you will hopefully get the message. “No” is a complete sentence, so you don’t have to add anything else or make any other excuses if you don’t want to. The conversation could go something like: Them: “Hey, do you want a drink?” You: “No thanks.” Them: “You sure? It’s pretty good.” You: “No, I’m good.” Them: “Seriously? It’s one drink.” You: “I said no.” If a simple “no” really isn’t working, move on to a different method, like using humor or making up an excuse. If you need to be more forceful, say something like, “I said no, and I’m not going to change my mind. Please stop asking.”
Explain that you’re in recovery.
Let others know if you’ve struggled with addiction. If you’re comfortable with sharing this kind of information, go ahead and be honest with the people who are trying to pressure you. There’s no need to go into great detail—simply tell them that you’re sober and don’t mess with that stuff anymore. Most people will respect that, and some might even congratulate you on your decision. Say something like: “No thanks, I’m actually 6 months sober as of today.” “I’m all good. That stuff really messes me up, and I’m trying to kick the habit.” “I’ve been making really good progress, and I don’t want to start back from square one.” “I've realized that drinking alcohol is something I can't do anymore.” “I’m really trying to make better choices and would appreciate it if you’d respect my decision.”
Take a nonalcoholic drink with you at parties.
Pretend like you already have something to drink. People are less likely to pressure you to drink if you already have a cup in your hand. Bring a drink ahead of time, or simply pour one of the chasers or mixers into a cup without any alcohol. There’s nothing wrong with pretending to drink if it keeps you out of a potentially harmful situation. Try pouring your drink into a plastic cup so other people can’t tell it’s only something like soda or iced tea. Mocktails (non-alcoholic mixed drinks) are a tasty alternative. If your friends are doing shots, ask for a water shot so you can still participate with them. If someone offers to get you a drink, say, “I'm definitely open to grabbing a drink, but could you get me something that's nonalcoholic?”
Leave the situation.
Walk away if you feel too uncomfortable. If you feel pressured or someone keeps offering you drugs or alcohol, feel free to walk away and go somewhere else. If you ever feel uncomfortable, call a trusted friend or adult to come get you right away. If you need an excuse to leave, say something like: “I’ve got practice in 20 minutes.” “I’ve really got to study for this test.” “My curfew is at 10, and if I’m late my parents are going to be so mad.” “My friend is calling me. I need to take this.” “I don’t feel so well. I’m going to go outside for a bit of fresh air.”
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