- The Nikah ceremony requires a bride and groom, the bride's father or male relative, 2 adult Muslim witnesses, and an imam or other Muslim officiant.
- Prepare a written marriage contract before the ceremony for you to sign as a couple. The witnesses will also sign this document.
- Receive a blessing from the officiant to conclude the Nikah ceremony.
- Hold a banquet after the ceremony to celebrate the marriage with your family, friends, and community.
Ceremony Requirements
Mutual consent agreement Consent is the cornerstone of any Islamic marriage. This means that, regardless of which one of you proposed, both of you have agreed that you want to join in a marriage contract together and be life partners. Mutual consent is typically expressed verbally, although it might also be mentioned in your written contract.
A representative of the bride's family Traditionally, this is the bride's father. But if her father isn't available, it might be her grandfather, an older brother, or even an uncle. This man, her "wali," technically "gives" the bride to the groom. Some mosques suggest that both the bride's father and brother (if she has one) attend the ceremony with her. In addition to her father, some mosques require the bride to have an additional family member present to serve as her guardian or "wakeel."
At least 2 adult Muslim witnesses These witnesses are separate from the bride's representatives or guardians. They are simply there as legal witnesses to the signing of the marriage contract. Traditionally, you need 2 male Muslim witnesses—although some venues allow 1 man and 2 women. Some mosques require that your witnesses personally know both the bride and the groom, or at least the bride. The bride's wali normally cannot also serve as a witness. But if the bride's brother is also present, he could be a witness.
A gift to the bride from the groom This gift, the "Mahr," is a symbol of the groom's promise to care for and provide for the bride. Traditionally, it's a lump sum of money, but it could also be property or an agreement to pay for education or a similar experience. The groom might physically give the Mahr to the bride during the Nikah, or it might be deferred to some time in the future. The recommended Mahr is modest and limited by law in some countries. For example, in the UAE, Mahr is limited to AED 20,000 (or AED 30,000 for deferred Mahr). Talk to your betrothed about the Mahr well before the Nikah and make sure you're both on the same page about what it will be. Your families might want input as well—traditionally, the bride's family has some say in the size of the Nikah.
Written marriage contract The imam who performs your Nikah may have sample marriage contracts that you can adapt for your own needs, but you're also free to bring your own. The contract simply lists the promises that the bride and groom make to each other. What you promise in the contract is totally up to you. For example, a groom might promise to support his bride as she completes her college education.
Official Islamic officiant (usually an imam) The imam of a local mosque will typically be your officiant, but others can take on this role as well. Your officiant only needs to be a devout Muslim. Traditionally, officiants are men, but some more progressive communities allow female officiants. It's really up to you as a couple who you choose.
Venue Many Nikah ceremonies are performed at mosques, but you might also choose to have it at a family home, a hotel, or any other event space. There's no requirement that the ceremony be performed at a mosque, this is just the most traditional option. You could also have the ceremony at a mosque and then follow up with a banquet later at the groom's family home or another location. Just keep in mind that Islamic principles discourage lavish spending for these sorts of events.
Pre-marital counseling While this isn't a religious requirement, many imams require the bride and groom to complete counseling before they'll officiate the wedding. This is also a requirement for any marriage in many US states. The counseling session is typically conducted by the imam who will be officiating and usually only takes an hour or two. In places where this is a requirement, it's only because the imam has to attest to the local government that they believe the couple is ready to be married.
Local government marriage license Most mosques, and most imams, require you to get the local government paperwork completed before you have your Nikah. If you're getting married in an Islamic country, the imam usually takes care of registering the marriage with the government for you after the Nikah is complete.
Ceremony Procedure
Arrive at the venue separately from each other. If you're having your ceremony at a mosque, genders will be segregated. But even at another venue, it's common practice for the bride and groom to avoid seeing each other on the day of the ceremony until the actual ceremony takes place and they see each other on stage for the first time. Typically, the bride and groom will be brought out to the stage separately as well. There might also be a wall or curtain separating you for most of the ceremony.
Listen to the sermon recited by the imam. If you have an imam officiating your Nikah, they'll typically start with a traditional sermon about marriage and the commitment you're making. These typically include specific prayers and readings from the Qur'an. If someone other than an imam is officiating your Nikah, they likely won't give a full sermon. They might recite from the Qur'an, though. There is never any music during the Nikah—it is absolutely haraam, or forbidden.
Indicate your acceptance of the marriage by saying "I accept." The specific formulation of this exchange can vary depending on your culture, but basically, the bride says that she gives herself away to you in Nikah on the agreed Mahr, and then the groom says that he accepts. The words also might be said by the imam, with the groom saying "I accept." In some Nikah ceremonies, the imam will ask the question to both the bride and the groom, each of whom must say "I accept," or "I do." You'll go over this with your officiant before the ceremony, so you'll know what to say.
Sign the written marriage contract. Typically, there will be an ornate table set up for the couple to sign the written contract. The witnesses then sign as well. When everyone's signed, the marriage is official under Islamic law. Some imams prefer if the witnesses go ahead and sign the contract before the ceremony itself. This just helps things run a little more smoothly because you're not waiting for 4 or 5 people to sign a piece of paper.
Accept the Imam's blessing of the marriage. The Nikah ceremony ends with a short blessing upon the newly married couple. This typically lasts only a minute or two, and then the ceremony is done.
Announce your marriage to the public. With the ceremony complete, the imam will introduce the married couple to all the guests present. Typically, a banquet follows the ceremony, to which the couple and their families invite all of their friends, neighbors, and far-flung relatives to attend. The size and scale of the banquet varies greatly among cultures, and also depends on the finances available. Islamic principles caution against lavish spending, but what you consider "lavish" depends on the size of your bank account! It's perfectly acceptable to wait a few days after the Nikah to have your banquet. There's no religious requirement that the banquet immediately follow the ceremony.
Attending a Muslim Wedding as a Guest
Dress in brightly colored modest attire. Weddings are a celebration and bright, festive garments are the norm. Just make sure that your arms and legs are completely covered, regardless of your gender—especially if the Nikah is held in a mosque. If you're a woman, bring along a scarf to cover your head as well. Cultural traditions vary, so talk to the bride or groom about expected attire—they'll be able to give you some helpful suggestions.
Remove your shoes before entering a mosque. Wear shoes that you can easily slip on and off your feet because you'll be expected to take off your shoes before going into the mosque. And as you're getting ready, remember that whatever socks or hosiery you put on will be seen by everyone at the Nikah. Add a small mark or sticker to the inside of your shoes so you can easily identify which ones are yours when you leave.
Bring a gift for the bride and groom. Gifts are a huge part of the Islamic tradition, and it's customary for guests to bring a gift for the newly wedded couple. It's possible that they'll have a wedding registry you can choose from, and cash is always a welcome option as well. If you're thinking about going with a more traditional gift option, here are some ideas: His and hers attar set: Traditional Muslim and Arab cultures predominantly use these alcohol-free perfumes. They're a long-lasting and thoughtful gift. Islamic calligraphy canvas: Because Islam forbids art that depicts living things, calligraphy is a popular choice to decorate Islamic homes. 99 Names of Allah painting: This is another decorative item sure to be appreciated by a Muslim bride and groom.
Avoid mingling with people of other genders. This is especially true if the Nikah is held in a mosque, where genders are absolutely segregated. But even if the Nikah takes place in another location, the families or officiated imam might still be strict about this. Err on the side of caution and don't extend your hand or offer a hug to someone from another gender. At the banquet after the Nikah, things are usually a little looser. But you'll likely notice that men largely stay with men and women with women. Just follow what other people are doing and you'll be fine.
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