Laugh off the situation.
Humor helps break the tension so you can keep chatting. If the person didn’t say anything serious or upsetting, don’t be afraid to make light of it! Once your conversation gets a little awkward, just point it out and joke around about the situation. The person you’re texting might giggle and send a message that will get your convo back on track. If a convo with your crush dies off: “You caught me on an off day cuz I’m usually a lot more exciting than this ???? haha.” If they mention the conversation is awkward: “I thought I told you I was an awkward person ???? guess not though!” If they accidentally texted the wrong person: “Well whoopsies ???? are you sure that was meant for me??”
Ask for clarification.
You can ask about the meaning of their text if it confuses you. Texts can feel awkward if the person made a mistake typing it out or if you don’t know what they’re trying to say. If you’re having trouble deciphering their text, just ask so you don’t accidentally make a wrong assumption. If you aren’t sure what they’re talking about: “Wait a sec, I’m a little confused. Can you explain that again to me?” If there was a confusing typo in their message: “Uh oh, I think you spelled something wrong here. What were you trying to say?” If they respond with a one-word answer: “I noticed that your replies have gotten short. Is everything okay right now?”
Empathize with them.
The other person will appreciate that you care about them during a tough time. It might feel a little awkward if there’s an issue bothering the person, but try to look at things from their perspective. Even if you aren’t really invested in the topic that the person is texting you about, show them that you care with an affirming message. If they’re venting about a bad situation: “I totally see how that’s frustrating for you ???? I’m sorry you’re going through that.” If they mention relationship issues: “I completely get what you’re saying. Ugh, I know how tough it is to be in that situation.” If they’re going through a lot of stress: “It really sounds like you’re going through a lot right now. It makes sense that you feel that way.”
Thank them for what they had to say.
Express your gratitude if the person brings something to your attention. Even if you don’t agree with what the person had to say, it’s still respectful to thank them for opening up and trusting you. If they brought up a serious topic, you can ask them questions about how they’re doing to continue the conversation. Otherwise, move on to a different topic after you acknowledge what the person said. If they make a complaint: “Thanks for letting me know about that! I’ll look into this ASAP. Is there anything I can do in the meantime?” If they confess how they feel for you: “I appreciate all the kind words you had to say! It was very brave of you to open up.” If they give you unwanted advice: “Thank you! I’m not sure if this will come up, but it may come in handy ????”
Change the topic.
Pivoting to a new topic can help you avoid an awkward text. Switching to a new convo works best if you’re not talking about a heavy subject. Be sure to briefly acknowledge what the person texted you before you change to the new topic so it doesn’t sound like you completely ignored them. Try to think of something fun or more light-hearted to keep the conversation alive. If they bring up sad news: “I’m so sorry to hear that. I had no idea that even happened. How are you doing otherwise?” If they make unwanted advances towards you: “I want to get to know you first before I make up my mind. I don’t even know what your favorite hobbies are yet hah” If the other person goes on for too long about a topic: “That’s pretty cool! It reminds me of this thing that happened when I was younger. You won’t believe what happens in this story at all!”
Tell them how you feel directly.
You can address an issue head-on by being honest with your feelings. Honesty is the best policy if you get caught in convos you’re not interested in. Be polite but direct when you mention your feelings to the other person. They’ll understand that you don’t want to have those types of conversations in the future. If they made you feel uncomfortable: “I’m here for you, but that sort of topic makes me feel really uneasy. I’m probably not the best person to discuss this with.” If they confess their feelings for you and you’re not interested: “I appreciate everything you said, but I’m just not looking for anything like that right now. I hope you find someone special for you!” If they talk about a friend behind their back: “I don’t like talking about someone without them here. I think you should chat with them about it instead.”
Send a polite rejection.
It’s okay to say no if your texting partner asks you to do something you don’t want to. If the person makes unwanted advances in your messages but you want to stay courteous, then tell them that you’re not interested right away. That lets the person know that you’re not going to respond to that type of message and that you won’t respond if they try talking to you that way again. If they ask you out: “I really do appreciate it, but I don’t see myself as being anything other than friends with you.” If they want you to do something you don’t want to: “No thank you, that’s not something I’d be interested in.” If they overstep a personal boundary: “I’m sorry, this is where I have to draw the line. I’d rather you didn’t ask me again.”
Make an apology.
Say you’re sorry if the person gets confused or upset. If you said something that put a damper on the convo or made it awkward, then acknowledge what you did. Tell the person why you’re sorry and ask them what you can do to help them. They’ll appreciate that you handled the situation maturely so you can move past it to a new topic. If they were confused by what you said: “I’m sorry, I realize that was tough to read. Let me try explaining it again.” If they call you out on a mistake: “You’re right. I’m sorry that I did that. I’ll be more careful going forward, but is there anything I can do to help out right now?” If you made them angry: “I’m sorry for what I did and you have every right to be upset at me. What can I do better to work through this?”
Tell them what you expect from a reply.
Say what you want from the convo if the person doesn’t give a full answer. If the person responds to your text but you wish they’d say more, don’t be afraid to tell them. You deserve to have a balanced conversation no matter who you’re chatting with. Talk about the way it makes you feel when they’re not communicating and clearly tell them how you expect them to respond. If they reply with a one-word answer: “It’s hard for me to know what you mean when your responses are short, so I’d appreciate it if you could give me a little more to work with.” If they won’t say how they’re feeling: “I noticed that you haven’t said how you felt about this yet. I’d really like it if you could tell me so I know if it’s a sore spot for you.” If they avoid the topic you’re discussing: “I’ve tried to bring this up a few times, and I feel like I’m being ignored. Could you tell me if a topic makes you uncomfortable instead?”
Ask to have the conversation in person.
You’ll read emotions better when you chat about serious topics face-to-face. It’s hard to read how someone is feeling just through text since you can’t see their body language or hear their tone. Let them know that you’re still interested in having the conversation, but it would be better if you could find time to get together. Even if you can’t talk face-to-face, you should still try to hop on a phone call. If they mention that they’re upset: “I understand you’re frustrated, but we should probably sit down and talk through this. When’s a good time for you?” If they want to talk about your relationship: “I’d rather that we talk about this face-to-face just so we don’t get confused. Can we chat about this when we’re home from work?” If they accuse you of something: “This sounds really serious. Can we put a pin in this and talk when I can see you in person?”
Say that you’re busy and can’t talk.
Mentioning you can’t chat keeps the interaction brief. You can try this out if you’re just starting a conversation or trying to get out or a long convo that turns awkward. Give the person a reason why you aren’t able to be a part of the conversation so they won’t be as upset if you don’t respond to them. You can always text them later if you want to stay in contact with them when you have more time to think of how to respond. If they want to chat and you don’t: “Hey, I’m just about to head out for the day, so I only have a few minutes to catch up.” If you’re caught up in small talk: “Well this has been a good conversation, but I should probably get to bed. I’ll talk to you later!” If they ask for tough advice: “Hey sorry, I’m at work. This sounds important, so I’d ask someone who can help out sooner than me.” You don’t have to respond to unwanted awkward texts from people that you don’t want to be in contact with.
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