How to Meet a Girl at the Beach

Getting Ready for the Beach

Look good (but not too good.) Your goal is to look attractive and approachable, but not like you’ve spent all day primping and preening for the beach. Comb your hair, but don’t over-style it and choose beach attire that is flattering and comfortable. If you feel confident heading out in nothing but your swimsuit, more power to you, but there’s nothing wrong with wearing a t-shirt or polo short and a pair of shorts. Don’t forget to apply sunscreen, especially if you’re pale. The lobster look might get you some concerned glances, but not a lot of phone numbers

Make a plan. It’s best to have some ideas in mind for how you might approach women before you head out to the beach. Spend some time thinking about things you might say, and things you could do to attract a girl’s notice.

Consider bringing a buddy or two. Some of the best beach gambits work best with friends. But others work better if you go it alone. Think about what kind of approach you might want to try, and then choose your beach buddies wisely. You want to look like you are having a good time, so bring friends that you enjoy hanging out with. And make sure your friends understand beforehand that you are likely to ditch them for a while, or even the rest of the day if you meet the right girl.

Pack your gear. You will want to bring the usual beach stuff, including sunscreen, a towel or blanket, and a cooler with some water bottles. Also bring along some beach toys, including some things that you might not consider standard beach gear for an adult. Consider items like a Frisbee, a football, and a bucket and a pail for building sand castles. You’re not likely to meet anyone while you’re lying around on a towel. You need an excuse to be up and moving around, and toys will make you look like a fun, approachable guy!

Bring your dog. Dogs are great for meeting women, and the beach is the perfect place to show off your pooch and what a great pet owner you are. Bring a ball and play fetch with your dog on the sand for all to see. Then leisurely walk Fido around on his leash. Assuming your dog is well-behaved and cute, you will likely have girls coming up to meet him, and by extension, you. Be aware that some beaches do not allow dogs. Check the local rules before you go. Make sure to be prepared to clean up after your dog. An irresponsible dog owner won’t score any points with the ladies. Studies have shown that some breeds of dogs are better for picking up women than others: poodles, chihuahuas, golden retrievers, and labs all rank highly on the list of most attractive pooches.

Meeting Girls at the Beach

Get the lay of the land. Find a place to lay out your towel and spend some time looking around, enjoying the sun. Scan the area for attractive girls, but do so in a friendly, non-leering manner. If you catch a girl’s eye, nod and smile or say hello, and then go back to looking around. Make sure to look over again in a few minutes to see if she is checking you out.

Look like you’re having fun! Strutting up and down the beach or posing on your towel might get you looked at, but isn’t likely to score you a date. Girls will find you more attractive to you if they see you out playing and having a good time. Get up a game of catch with your friends. Go for a swim. Fly a kite. Start building a sandcastle. If you run into a girl during any of these activities, take the opportunity to strike up a conversation.

Invite the girl to play. Get up a game of Frisbee or catch with your buddies, or begin building a sandcastle. If you see a girl watching you, give her a smile and wave her over to join you. If she smiles back, but doesn’t come over right away, jog over and ask her if she’d like to play. Sometimes a girl will act shy and say “no,” or “I don’t know” but in a coy way that suggests she’d really like to play. If this seems like the case (smiling and giggling are good indicators) give her some encouragement. “Oh, come on, you’ll be brilliant!” or “I’ll bet you throw a great spiral” would both work well. If she says “no” and does not look amused or inviting, take the hint and let her be. You won’t receive any positive attention by being pushy or aggressive. What's more, you might run the risk of trouble is she has a boyfriend and they get jealous.

”Accidentally” lose your Frisbee or ball near the girl. Another way to get a girl’s attention while playing is to accidentally overthrow a ball, or miss a catch so that your ball or Frisbee lands near the girl and you have to approach her to retrieve it. Use this as an excuse to say hi and start a conversation. (You might start with, “Sorry about that, the sun was in my eyes.” Or “My friend can’t throw to save his life . . . “) Try to make sure your ball doesn’t land right on the girl or knock over her stuff. There is a fine line between endearingly clumsy and just plain irritating. Crashing a kite near a girl can also be a good ice-breaker, but make sure that you are actually in control of the kite, and don’t hit her.

Offer the girl a bottle of water. Bring a cooler full of ice-cold water bottles with you to the beach. If you see a girl you are interested in, you can walk up to her and say “Hi, I noticed you looked hot and I’ve got some extra waters here. Would you like one?” If she says yes, give her one, and then extend your hand for a handshake and tell her your name and go from there. (“Hi, I’m Brad, what’s your name?”)

Ask the girl to guard your stuff. This is a popular gambit for meeting girls at the beach, but it requires ditching your buddies and going it alone. After you’ve spotted a girl you are interested in, gather up your stuff and ask her if she’d mind watching it for a few minutes while you take a quick swim or surf. ("Hi, I was hoping to take a quick swim, and was wondering if you'd be willing to look after my stuff.") If she agrees, thank her, and consider saying something funny like “Be careful, I've heard there are some vicious sunscreen thieves on the loose today.” Do go out and swim or surf for a good 20 minutes before returning. When you get back, thank her and playfully ask her if she had any trouble, or had to fight off any sunscreen thieves. Be sure to tell her how much you appreciate her help, and take the opportunity to begin a longer conversation. If things are going well, ask for her number. Better yet, ask her what she’s doing later tonight. If she doesn’t have plans, make arrangements to meet up with her in a few hours.

Don’t be the sunscreen creep. There is an age old cliché that the best way to meet a girl at the beach is to walk up and offer to rub sunblock on her back. 99 times out of 100, this is going to come across as creepy or sleazy, and get you shunned or even slapped! If you see a girl nearby who is applying sunscreen, you can Try to make eye contact and give her the opportunity to ask you for help, but don’t ogle, and don’t approach her unless you get some indication (a smile, a wave, an actual request: “can you help me?”) that she wants you to come over. Also avoid the “can I adjust your bathing suit?” gambit. This is an approach advocated on several online dating sites that is almost guaranteed to fail spectacularly. Remember that touching a girl who does not wish to be touched is sexual harassment and is punished by the law! Don’t touch a girl or her swimsuit without her express verbal permission.

Starting a Conversation

Think about the context. A bit of planning ahead can make your attempts to start a conversation a lot more successful. Are you at a beach where most of the people there are locals? Or are you at a touristy beach where most people come from out of town? Do you know of any fun events happening later in the evening that you could invite a girl you meet to? Do you know of a great local restaurant or secret surf spot you could entice a girl to visit with you? Check local movie listings and event calendars to get ideas for an evening activity. Keep an ear out for upcoming parties that you might invite a girl to attend.

Start the conversation. Whether you’ve managed to catch a girl’s eye on the next towel over, or have bravely walked up to her as she plays in the surf, at some point you will need to begin a conversation with the girl. The best bet at the beach is to keep the conversation light and centered on the girl. Begin by asking her if she’s having a good day so far. (Hopefully she’ll say yes; if not, ask her what’s wrong.) Then tailor your approach to the kind of beach you are at. Reader Poll: We asked 365 wikiHow readers, and 61% said that making an observation about the scenery around you is the best way to open conversation with a girl in public. [Take Poll] So, you start by talking about how beautiful the beach is, or ask her if she thinks the water looks cold.

If you are at a local hangout, ask the girl if she took the day off of work to come to the beach. The answer will hopefully open up a chance to ask her about her work. Ask her if she likes her job, or if her boss is good about giving her days off. Listen for clues about the things she expresses interest in, and ask lots of follow-up questions. If it turns out she is a student, ask her about her studies and what she likes best about them, etc.

If you are at a touristy beach, first ask the girl if she’s a local or on vacation. If she is from out of town, ask her how long she has been in town and what she thinks of it so far. Then ask her how long she is staying, and if there are places she’s still hoping to see. If she seems receptive to your conversation (look for smiling, laughing, and other signs of flirting), offer to show her around one evening, or take her to a favorite local spot.

Consider trying the classic “Do you come here often?” Try to mix it up a bit and try: “This is my favorite beach, what do you think of it?” Or you could ask her what other beaches she likes, or has been to, etc.

Keep the conversation focused on the girl. This is the number one rule no matter what you are talking about. Ask her what she likes, what her interests are, etc. Remain mysterious about yourself, unless she asks you a direct question, and act enthusiastic and interested about whatever she has to say.