Allowing Your Child to Choose
Use variation. Rather than trying to make your child like one type of food, introduce a range of different food types. If you provide your child with a variety of foods to choose from, this will increase the chances that your child will eat and learn to like something and thus get the nutrition they need. For example, don’t force your child to eat just a salad if they are in a stage of avoiding vegetables. Instead give them a small salad along with other options like cheese, meat, and/or fruits. Try giving the new food alongside one of the child's favorite foods. For instance, ask your child to try a small slice of apple, and give them a handful of a food they like once they consume the new food.
Give your child options to choose from. A child that feels involved in choosing their food will be more motivated to eat the food. For example, ask your child about what they want in their sandwich and which piece of fruit they'd like for lunch, offering them a finite set of options that you have deemed acceptable. The key here is to make options available, but not to force your child into one particular thing. If they try something and don’t like it, don’t force them to eat it. Keep making a variety of foods available to your child even if they say they don’t like certain ones. Offer the food again and again (an unlimited number of times. Prepare foods with different cooking methods because some children may be more sensitive to textures. For example, your child may not like carrots when they're raw but they may enjoy them if they're steamed.
Understand that "newness" is a large part of the problem. Everything is new to a toddler. Children may have to try a food many times (sometimes 10 to 15 times) before they finally accept the new taste. Be patient and keep trying. Try linking new foods with old foods that your child already likes by telling them what the two foods have in common. For example if your child likes blueberries, they may also like strawberries, since both are fruits of a similar type. You could also introducing new ingredients in dishes that pair them with familiar favorites. For example, if your child likes cheese, then you can try giving them broccoli and cheese instead of plain steamed broccoli.
Don’t try to control everything and don't force it. Most children don’t respond well to negative food reinforcement. If you try to force them to eat something they don’t want to or make eating seem like a chore instead of something enjoyable, they will be more likely to continue with their picky eating habits. Introduce the new food in small portions so that the child does not feel overwhelmed. You may start out with a single pea, for instance. Over time, slowly increase the amount of the new food you put on your child's plate. Try gentle encouragement and leaving the choice ultimately up to your child. You don’t want to associate negative feelings with food in your child’s mind.
Engaging Your Child About Food
Ask for your child’s help when food shopping. When you go grocery shopping, ask your child to help you pick out certain foods — especially new food items that you will want them to try. Let your child feel the texture of the food and pick out “just the right one.” When they are more involved they are also more likely to participate in eating the food. Give your child the opportunity to pick out something on their own that you then incorporate into a meal. This may help them overcome their pickiness by feeling more connected to the preparation process.
Show them how food is made. Sharing how the food is made and where the food comes from with your child may make them more open to trying it. If possible, cook meals at home (from scratch) to teach children about food preparation. Let your child participate in preparing dinner for the family. Seeing what goes into the food they eat may help them get over their pickiness. You can even try to let them help out in the kitchen — while you are cooking or when you want help setting the table. Make food preparation fun. For example, use cookie cutters to cut foods into various shapes.
Invite an adventurous friend over for dinner. Kids are extremely susceptible to influence from friends. If your child is a notoriously picky eater, invite a more adventurous friend over for dinner. Hopefully your child will see their friend eating all the things they refuse to eat and follow their friend’s lead.
Modeling Good Eating Habits for Your Child
Watch your own eating behavior. How you eat and the way you talk about food inevitably influences your child's feelings about food. Be very careful about "diet" talk and expressing strong preferences for certain foods in your own eating regimen. Children will pick up on the messages you give, even subtle ones. Avoid eating too many unhealthy foods, especially in front of your child. Avoid negative talk about foods that you don’t like so you don’t unnecessarily encourage your child’s pickiness.
Eat your meals with your children. As tempting as it might be to leave children to it to get on with more cooking or the household chores, young children will be more likely to get distracted and stop eating if nobody is paying attention. Stay with them to help encourage eating. Engage with your children at dinner time and show them that you care. Ask them things about their day and talk to them about your day.
Enjoy food as a family. Take time to enjoy the act of eating and spending quality time together as a family as well as the taste of different foods. This will help make it a positive experience for your child. The child will pick up on positive energy at the table. Always eat at the dinner table together. Try to consistently make time for dinner as a family. This will make them associate enjoyable family time with eating and may lead to less pickiness. Minimize distractions such as by turning off the television and putting away phones. Even if your child is not eating the food, encourage them to remain at the table during meals.
When to Seek Medical Care
Visit your pediatrician to rule out a physical problem. Sometimes, medical conditions can look like pickiness and result in mealtime resistance. If your child seems to be experiencing pain or discomfort during or after mealtimes, or is gagging on foods regularly, they may link mealtimes with these negative experiences and no longer want to eat. Medical problems that can result in pickiness include: Allergies Food sensitivities or intolerances (e.g. lactose intolerance or celiac disease) Dental problems such as cavities Poor oral motor skills
Get help if your child's diet is severely restricted. Typical picky eaters will still have a diet consisting of more than 20 foods. If your child's diet consists of 20 foods or less, it's important to get their pediatrician involved, because this puts them at risk of nutritional deficiencies and can be a sign of a more serious problem. You should also talk to a professional if your child starts cutting out even more foods and their pickiness hasn't been improving. If your child refuses entire food groups (such as fruits or vegetables), seems incredibly sensitive to even slight differences in food (like buying a different brand of the same thing), and won't even try different variations of the same food, this could be a sign of avoidant-restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID). This condition causes anxiety and stress around food, and often looks like severe picky eating. Older children who struggle with anorexia may refuse to eat foods that are high-calorie or high in fat or carbohydrates, and be limited to a small repertoire of "safe" foods (typically low-fat and low-carb food). The amount they eat will also be restricted as well; they may only eat very small meals and skip meals entirely. Children with sensory issues, including autistic children and children with ADHD, may have very limited diets as a result of sensory sensitivities or cravings.
Look for help if your child experiences food anxiety. It's not normal for kids to be so terrified of foods that they gag on them or skip meals. If your child experiences extreme anxiety around food that results in pickiness, talk to their pediatrician; they may need a referral to a specialist. Signs of food anxiety include: Persistent fear of choking, vomiting, weight gain, or other possible results of eating food Tensing, crying, shaking, sweating, or looking away from the food Trying to skip meals or escape when faced with an "unsafe" food Spitting out, gagging on, or even vomiting out foods that they dislike Total refusal to eat; will go hungry for days instead of eating "unsafe" foods Avoiding school lunchtime, family mealtimes, restaurants, parties, or other social events involving food
Involve a doctor if you're worried about weight or malnutrition. Luckily, most picky eaters still eat enough of a variety throughout the week that they remain healthy. However, if your child is severely picky, they may not be getting enough nutrients or gaining weight as expected. If you're worried that your child isn't eating a balanced diet as a result of their pickiness, talk to their doctor to find a way for your child to eat well.
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