Breaking off the Relationship
Take the time to be sure it’s what you want. Breaking off a relationship, especially a long-term one, is a big and difficult decision. After all, you don’t want to hurt the person you're with just because you're having a couple doubts. Moreover, Capricorns rarely give second chances, so be sure this is what you want. Ask yourself things like: Will I feel better about things if we break up? How would I feel tomorrow if I woke up and had gone through with the breakup? How will I feel tomorrow if I haven’t gone through with it? Will I have any regrets if I do or don’t do this? Do I want to give this another shot?
Plan what you're going to say. The conversation to break up with your significant other is going to be tough, but it will help if you plan what you want to say. Having a plan will also help stop you from saying anything you may regret later, especially if things get heated. Try opening with something nice, like, “you're a really great person,” or “we’ve had a lot of great times together.” When you're ready to move on to discussing why you want to break up, talk about why you feel you aren't a good match. Capricorns like order and stability, so maybe you feel like you need more spontaneity in your life. Similarly, Capricorns appreciate hard work and responsibility, and maybe those aren't things that are important to you. Whatever your differences, have a list of issues ready that you want to bring up.
Break up in person. When you’ve been dating someone for longer than a month, it’s basic and common courtesy to break up in person, or at least over the phone. Don’t send an email, text message, or use social media to break the news. One reason this is important is because it shows the other person that you care and have respect for his or her feelings. It also gives you a chance to explain yourself, and gives the other person an opportunity to ask questions.
Be honest, open, and direct. You’ve already run through in your head all the reasons you want to break up, and now it’s time to communicate those reasons. Try to stick with the facts. Depending on your reasons for wanting to break up, you can say clear things like: “We have different priorities,” or “we want different things in life” “We’re too dissimilar, and I don’t think those differences can be reconciled” “I want to focus on my career/studies right now” “I'm not ready to make this kind of commitment”
Be kind and considerate. While it’s important to be honest with the other person, this doesn’t mean you have to be mean or inconsiderate. Your partner is going to be hurt by your decision already, so you can try to make the process easier by being sensitive. Keep in mind that Capricorns tend to be shy and are afraid of rejection. They are slow in making moves because they have a lot of doubts about whether the other person would like them in return. So he or she may react very strongly to your desire to break up. Being sympathetic and understanding may make the break up a little easier on you both. Reinforce their capacities so that you appear to be a supportive force when they experience self-doubt. Instead of pointing out perceived flaws with the other person’s personality or behavior, keep the discussion focused on why the relationship isn't working for you. For instance, Capricorns are potentially ambitious and care deeply about their career. So rather than saying, “You’re too focused on work,” rephrase this as “I need a partner I can spend more time with.”
Managing After the Breakup
Be prepared for negative emotions. As if a breakup weren’t hard enough, Capricorns have been known to be jealous and angry when it comes to matters of love and broken hearts. This is largely because Capricorns can have a very strong instinct for self-preservation, and that means being defensive and unforgiving when they're hurt. Despite having spent weeks, months, or even years with this person, be ready to see a side of his or her personality that you’ve never seen before. For example, be ready for accusations, jealousy, and having all the blame leveled at you.
Be respectful. Even if your ex is acting jealous or irrational after the breakup, take the moral high ground and ignore the behavior rather than responding in kind. Just as you wouldn’t appreciate your ex gossiping, lying, or spilling secrets about you, so too should you be respectful of the other person’s feelings and privacy.
Be firm. Once you’ve made up your mind, don’t let the other person—or anyone else—change it. Capricorns can be stubborn and set in their ways, so if your ex thinks you two should still be together, it’s possible that he or she may try to convince you of the same. Once Capricorns commit to a person, their natural loyalty leads them to preserve that relationship, and they have a hard time letting go. To help keep your mind off the breakup and to remind yourself how great life can be without the other person, try reconnecting with old friends, rekindling your love of old hobbies, and taking time to care for yourself.
Encourage your ex to self-care. You can listen and be considerate of the other person’s feelings, but you can't take responsibility for him or her. In the end, it’s up to him or her to get through the breakup alone and with other friends and family. You can encourage this by: Suggesting that he or she take some time away to think and process what's happened. Recommending that he or she spend more time with other loved ones. Reassuring the other person that life will go on and that you'll both be better off for the change. Reminding your ex that while the breakup is painful, the hurt will become easier to manage.
Practice self-care yourself. A breakup is a difficult time, and even if you were the one to end the relationship, you will still experience a sense of loss and a period of grief. To help get through this time, take your own advice about self-care: Get out and have fun with friends and family. Take time to relax and pamper yourself. If possible, consider taking a couple days off work. Consider going on a holiday or weekend getaway. Get out and meet new people and try new things.
Avoid contact afterward. The only way to truly heal and move on after a breakup is to have time and distance from the person you’ve broken up with. After all, you decided to end the relationship for a reason, so why would you carry on as though you were still together after breaking up? Experts recommend at least eight weeks with no contact, and this means no meetings, no phone calls, and definitely no sex.
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