Reading the Situation
Think about the people attending any social occasion. You should act differently depending on who you’re around. Social situations with your friends should feel relaxed and comfortable. You may speak and act less formally if you're with your friends. During work events, you should be more attentive to social mores. While you may be friendly with your co-workers and your boss, it's not the same as being around your friends. Being around family members also means you act differently. You may not talk or act the same around your family as you do around your friends. Make sure to be especially attentive to the situation when you're meeting new people. You want to be on your best behavior and manners when introducing yourself to new acquaintances.
Keep in mind the time of day. Attending social occasions in the morning or daytime hours is different than those in the evening. Realize the expectations in terms of meals. If the party is during a meal, it's likely that a meal will be served rather than finger food. Know the expectations of what you should bring. Social occasions around dinner time may require you to bring a bottle of wine. Contact your host if you're not sure. Don't overindulge on food or drink.This is especially true for social occasions during the day. You don't want to look foolish in front of others.
Keep in mind the formality of the occasion. Different occasions require different levels of formality. You may need to dress or act differently. Know where the event is taking place. If it's in a church, like a baptism or a wedding, then make sure to dress appropriately. Time of day also tells you how formal the occasion may be. In general, the later the occasion, the more formal it becomes. Pay attention to invitations. If there are a number of invitations that are relatively formal, then know that the event is probably formal as well.
Being Comfortable in Your Interactions
Be polite. Always be considerate and conscientious. Make sure your conversation is appropriate and that you make others feel welcome in your presence. Use your sense of humor. However, limit off-color jokes or statements. Don’t joke about things that may offend strangers or acquaintances. Have good manners. Poor manners can make people uncomfortable, especially when eating and drinking. Be considerate of others. Hold open doors for others and pull out their chairs. Don’t make them uncomfortable, but let them know you are trying to make them feel welcome. Come with a gift if appropriate. When you are visiting someone’s home, come with a gift. It can be small, but you want to have something you can present to your host or hostess to show your appreciation for being invited.
Consider how others may feel. Many people are nervous in social situations. Putting yourself in their shoes can ease your own nerves as well. Know who others are and how they may feel. Try to remember each person you meet and how and why they are there. This will tell you something about their own comfort level. Realize that uncomfortable situations are nobody’s fault; they are just a fact of life. Think of things from their perspective if you're in an uncomfortable situation. Pay attention how much eye contact others are giving you. This may tell you how comfortable they feel and how much they are engaged. Look at other’s body language. See if their arms and body is closed, or crossed, or open and available.
Think before you speak. Make sure you consider what you should say before you start talking. Don’t let it paralyze you, but also don’t say anything you may regret. Try taking a breath or counting to three to yourself before responding to someone. Give yourself a minute before you speak. Clear your head to avoid saying something regrettable. You don’t want to create an uncomfortable situation. Avoid controversial topics. Don’t talk about things like politics or religion. Those subjects are based saved for close family and friends.
Accept your flaws. Don’t try to act like you’re perfect. Instead, admit things about you that show you’re not pretending to be perfect. Try to share truthful things about yourself. This will show that you are not only concerned with making you look good. Use self-deprecating humor. Making fun of yourself can be a good way to make sure others will not. Don’t put yourself down too much. Otherwise, you seem like you are not confident.
Talk to others about your interests. Share things about yourself that others may be interested in. Talk about things that make you proud. You can share things about work, school, or your life that you feel good about. Contribute to the conversation. Don’t start talking about something that does not relate. Instead, let your contributions flow naturally in the conversation. Make an effort to talk to others. People like others who share and talk to them.
Have a buddy or friend at a party that you can talk to if things get awkward. Don't be afraid to call and ask a friend to help you with a sticky situation. Talk to people you know at parties. This can be a good way to meet others that they may know. Try not to gossip with friends. This will alienate other people from you. Make sure to not talk exclusively to people you know. Otherwise, you’ll never meet new people.
Dress for success. Make sure you are wearing something that is appropriate for the occasion. It’s always better to be overdressed than underdressed. Gauge how to dress appropriately. Keep in mind what type of social situation you’re going to and dress accordingly. Use common sense. Don’t wear anything strange or out of place. You want to look your best, not draw unnecessary attention to yourself. If you end up overdressed or underdressed, make sure that you still look good. Being confident in your dress may make you look appropriately dressed.
Feeling Good About Yourself
Be confident. Confidence makes you feel comfortable. Make eye contact with everyone. Eye contact makes you seem more confident and comfortable around others. Speak in a clear and steady voice. Don’t try to talk too fast or let your nerves show through. Have good body language and posture. Stand up straight and don’t slouch. Try not to cross your arms or legs so you have an open and welcoming posture. Feel good about yourself. You have a lot to offer others and they should want to talk to you.
Have fun. Enjoying yourself makes you feel good. Have fun no matter where you are. Try not to be too nervous. Nothing’s too serious about any social environment that you can’t have fun. Laugh and joke around with others. Everyone enjoys a little levity. Don’t try to be a clown for others. Forcing too much fun can create an uncomfortable situation.
Have reasonable expectations. Know that any social situation can be uncomfortable. If you feel uncomfortable, just know it will eventually be over. Feel good about talking and interacting with others. Even if some interactions don’t go well, just keep in mind that you tried. Know that you may not make friends. Some social occasions may be the only time you meet someone. Have a good time with them then and don’t worry about the future. Realize that uncomfortable situations may arise. Deal with them as they come and you’ll find they are easier to deal with than you imagine. Get out of the conversation if you need to. If the person you are talking to is offensive or acting strangely, politely excuse yourself. There’s no reason you have to talk to people that make you feel uncomfortable.
Confront your fears. Go up and talk to a stranger. You’ll find it’s less scary than you think. Talk to people who are standing by themselves. If they look friendly and open, come up to them and start a conversation. Ask people about themselves. Don’t pry too much, but general information can be a good starting place for a conversation. Avoid negative thoughts. Try not to think of the worse case scenario. Nothing that bad can happen if you try to talk to a stranger at a social event.
Recognize your best qualities. Use them to your advantage. This could be anything from your hair to your singing voice. Wear clothes that makes you look and feel good. Highlight what’s best about you. Discuss topics you feel comfortable with. Don’t direct the conversation, but highlight things you know about and can contribute to in conversation. Don’t force your best qualities on others. Only sing, or perform other talents, if people ask you to. Unprompted performances can be awkward and unwanted.
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