14 Telling Signs a Woman is Attracted to Another Woman
14 Telling Signs a Woman is Attracted to Another Woman
So, you have a hunch that this girl you know has a crush on you. Maybe you’re crushing on her too or are unsure if or how you should say you’re not interested. No matter your predicament, we can help. Take a look at these signs that a woman is attracted to another woman. If she’s flirting with you, she’s bound to do more than one of these things.
Things You Should Know
  • She probably likes you if she leans in while you talk, accidentally bumps into you more than once, or never takes her eyes off you.
  • She could be into you if she compliments your appearance or asks you questions about your sexuality.
  • If she’s attracted to you, she’ll most likely act shy or nervous around you, especially if she’s typically very outgoing.

Signs She Likes You

She gets close to you. If she scooches closer to you, chances are she’s into you. Has she been in your personal bubble more so than usual? Now, this isn’t merely a coincidence. Perhaps she finds a way to sit next to you in class, leans in when you talk, or walks beside you even though you’re in a group of friends. Basically, this is her subtle way of saying, “I like being around you.”

She makes excuses to hang out with you. She’ll always want to be in your company if she likes you. Think about your week and how often you’ve seen her. Even if you’re in the same group of friends all day, if a girl’s into you, she’ll find a way to spend even more time with you. Maybe she asks if you need help with your homework or want company while you walk home.

She finds a way to touch you. Believe it or not, people tend to touch the people they like. Physical contact is a tell-tale sign that someone’s into you. Has she “accidentally” touched your hand lately? Perhaps she brushed your shoulder while walking. If she likes you, this probably isn’t an accident.

She gets flustered around you. If an outgoing girl suddenly becomes shy, she likes you. Girls will often get nervous, awkward, or shy around their crushes—and the same goes for WLW, or women-love-women, relationships. Does she blush and suddenly fumble over her words when you’re near? If this is out of character for her, she probably has a crush on you.

She compliments you often. You’re probably the apple of her eye if she likes you. Think about all of your recent conversations with her. Has she been complimenting you more so than usual? Maybe she said you look nice, have a great smile, or have a great work ethic. If her compliments are a bit over the top, it may be because she’s into you.

She makes intense eye contact with you. If a girl looks you deeply in the eyes, she likely has a crush. WLW relationships can sometimes be hard to spot, but experts recommend always reverting to the woman’s gaze. If she’s locked eyes with you and can’t seem to look away, chances are she’s totally into you.

She flirts with you. Confident winks and remarks could be a sign she’s into you. Think about your interactions with her lately. Has she laughed too loud at one of your jokes, played with her hair, or casually winked your way? If so, it’s probably because she’s flirting with you. Pay close attention to her body language and demeanor to tell if she’s flirting.

She puts effort into her appearance. Extra time in front of the mirror often indicates a crush. A telling sign that a girl is into you is if she glams up before seeing you. If you suddenly notice something different about her hair, makeup, or general appearance, she may be fixing herself up just for you.

She asks lots of questions (and remembers the answers). She’ll want to learn everything about you if she likes you. If she’s been asking you more questions than usual, it may be because she’s trying to get to know you better. These questions, however, aren’t ordinary friend questions. She may ask about your love language, crushes, or ideal dates.

She favors your opinion. If a girl likes you, she’ll always ask for your opinion. She values what you have to say. Maybe she asks you, “How do I look?” or “What do you think about this?” while showing you a picture. No matter, she wants to know what you think about her and values what you have to say over a regular friend.

She asks your friends about you. When a girl likes you, she will do her best to get to know you. This often means she’ll ask your loved ones about you. Maybe she asks your best friend to share a funny story about you, or perhaps she chats with your family at an event.

She comments on your social media posts. If someone likes you, they’re bound to stalk your social media. Has she liked a post from long ago? Has she been commenting on all your recent posts? If so, she’s likely into you. She’s trying to get to know you better, and a great way to do that is to check your Instagram and Twitter.

She asks about your sexual preferences. An interest in who you like might mean she likes you. Has she opened up to you about her sexual orientation? If she lets you know she’s into girls and then subtly asks what you’re into, it’s probably because she thinks you’re cute.

She asks you out. She totally has a crush if she invites you to hang out. At the end of the day, asking you on a date definitely means she likes you—she’s biting the bullet and going for it! So, if she calls you up or approaches you and says something like, “Hey, would you want to go out sometime?” she’s into you. Reader Poll: We asked 414 wikiHow readers who've asked someone out, and 54% of them agreed that the best way to do so is by casually suggesting to hang out and spend time together. [Take Poll] So if she asks to hang out a lot, even if she doesn’t directly call it a date, she’s probably into you!

What to Do When a Girl Likes You

If you’re crushing on her, show a few attraction signs yourself. Give her a compliment, “accidentally” brush her shoulder, hold eye contact a little longer than usual, or ask her if she’s dating anyone. Let her know you’re on her radar too, and who knows? You may be in a relationship before you know it! Subtly express your queer preferences to let her know you dig her as more than a friend. Try saying something casual like, “My ex-girlfriend would’ve hated this place,” or “It’s a lesbian community. I’d fit right in.” Is it possible for a straight woman to be attracted to another woman? Absolutely! Remember, sexuality is fluid. Let your feelings come and go as they please.

If you don’t like her as more than a friend, be honest with her. The worst thing you can do is lead a girl on when you know she likes you. Maybe you’re happily in a relationship or don’t view yourself in anything but a heterosexual relationship. Either way, if she’s showing obvious flirtatious signs, put her down gently. Try bringing up your sexual preferences or current relationship with something like: “I’m flattered, but I’m not into girls that way. But I’d love to hang out as friends sometime, if you’re cool with that.” “My partner and I used to come here all the time.” “I’m straight, but I’ve got a friend who’s available.”

If you’re unsure if you like her that way, it’s okay. Don’t put pressure on yourself to know if you like her romantically or not. It’s totally fine to keep the friendship or conversation going without labeling yourself or confessing an attraction. Know that there’s no pressure to define or identify your sexual orientation. Follow your heart and do what’s best for you. If you’re close friends, consider being honest with her. Express that you’re unsure if you like her romantically by saying something like, “I like you, Betty, but I’m not sure if what I’m feeling is something for a friend or something more,” or “When you say things like that, are you flirting with me? Because it makes me feel uncomfortable.”

Can sexuality be confusing?

Sexuality is often confusing, so it’s okay if you don't understand your feelings. Sexuality is a spectrum, and you don’t need to fall into one label for the rest of your life—nor do you have to choose a label! Take some time to process your feelings and know it’s perfectly normal to be confused by them. Your feelings could simply be feelings, or they could be something more. There’s nothing wrong with not knowing your sexuality. The best thing you can do is follow your heart and your truth. Remember, you’re worthy of love no matter who you’re attracted to.

Friendship vs. Romantic Attraction

Admiring a friend often differs from being sexually attracted to a friend. When you admire someone, you may find yourself thinking, “Wow. I wish I was like them.” Perhaps you look up to their work ethic or kind nature. Romantic attraction, on the other hand, could lead you to think, “I really want to kiss them right now.” If you’re romantically attracted to someone, you think of them as an intimate partner you want to sexually or passionately interact with. Can friendship lead to attraction? Definitely, especially in WLW relationships. Women often form close bonds with each other before they start dating—first being friends and then becoming lovers. Not all romantic attraction is physical; there’s also emotional attraction. Do you want to share intimate secrets and details with this person more than other friends? If so, you may be attracted to them emotionally. Remember, it’s okay to be confused by your feelings. Listen to them, acknowledge them, and do what’s best for you.

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