We are built for heartbreak just as we are built for love. Ahead of its upcoming Valentine’s day release of Minus One: New Chapter, Lionsgate Play releases an independent research study in partnership with Ormax Media that deep dives into ‘Love, Relationships and Heartbreaks’. The streaming platform’s Relationship Meter aims to decode the concept of relationships and heartbreaks within the millennials and Gen Z in India. The upcoming show is an ode to a relationship that spans through phases of life. Through two timelines, we will see a relationship evolve between two people – the trials and tribulations young adult couples go through the lens of Varun (Ayush Mehra) and Ria (Aisha Ahmed). The app brings forth insights that strike a chord with people navigating their dating journeys today.
Live-in before commitment, it’s no more the era of Vivah
As we evolve, Gen Z and Millennials are riding the change in perspectives and are opting for alternative institutions like live-in relationships to form lasting relationships. 1 in 2 Indians agree that it is important to be in a live-in relationship before they get into a committed relationship to understand their partner better. 37% of Indians felt it is okay to live in the same house with a partner even after they have broken up, just like Varun and Ria in the show. The report highlights that 34% of Indians feel that their parents will be open to them being in a live-in relationship – this truly shows how parents are slowly and steadily evolving to the concept.
Kavyal Sedanni, Relationship Expert and Therapist says, “Today, Gen Z and millennials are changing their ideas on how they want their relationships to be. They have seen marriages that don’t work because of reasons such as infidelity, mundaneness and more – hence, they feel it’s important to be in a live-in relationship before stepping into a committed one; so that one can understand their partners better. While this may be a great way to get to know the person you’re living with, it also comes with a risk because one foot of yours is always outside the door. So, live-in relationships are comparatively easier when we’re given the option of stepping out and not committing when things get tough. Gen Z and millennials today are not dependent on their partners for finance, social security and love so these methods may work for them.”
Are we still in the ‘Pyaar Dosti Hai’ phase?
Majority of men (87%) and women (92%) feel Shah Rukh Khan was correct when he said that love is friendship. They still believe that friendship is the secret ingredient for enduring love. But what about couples who remain friends even after a breakup? In the era of keeping red flags and toxic situations at bay, 1 in 3 women are fine being friends with their exes! The study highlights a break in stereotypes and reveals that only 30% of Indians are uncomfortable with their partner having a best friend of the opposite sex. Holding on to that thought, the study also shows 60% of Indian men claim that they aren’t able to maintain ‘Bromance’ because of their partner’s needs.
“It’s absolutely true that friendship is an important ingredient in any relationship but sometimes if one hasn’t had proper closure with their exes’ and they are still hurting about their past, then it can be more detrimental than beneficial to be friends with them. The lingering feeling of wanting them, the need for closure, or knowing the value in that relationship keeps adding to more complications. It’s natural for people to feel uncomfortable if their partners are in touch with their exes’ or they are still best friends because they would feel like there are unresolved feelings. However, it’s completely dependent on the kind of relationship one shares with their partner and if they are mature or detached enough to be able to compartmentalize their past life then friendship can be a part of this equation”, says Sedanni.
Badalte rishton ka ‘Silsila’
The iconic 1980s blockbuster ‘Silsila’ would have been considered a norm had it been released in today’s times. In a bold revelation, the study states that 34% of Indians agree to indulge in casual sex with other partners even if they are emotionally attached to someone else. What caught the eye through this report is – 38% of mini-metro folks prefer “friends with benefits” as compared to metro residents. With new terms such as situationships, love bombing and more coming to the fore, singles and couples are open to experimenting with their relationship statuses beyond monogamy. The flip side of this is when Indians select their partners – 1 in 2 men and 1 in 3 women give precedence to GOOD LOOKS over emotional connection.
With the changing perception about casual sex, Sedanni says, “Gen Z today evidently have choices and of course to each their own but it could create a lot of insecurity among people who are vulnerable and anyway have low self-esteem. Casual sex could sometimes hold them back from giving their 100% into any relationship. That being said, if people are spoilt for choice, it’s only natural that they will explore them.”
Love is not blind anymore
Besides the matter of heart, Indians want to fill their pockets first before seeking the most expensive emotion. As per the report, 72% Indians agree that one should only get into a relationship if they are financially secure. Changing the age-old narrative, 1 in 2 Indian women believe in equal sharing of expenses between a couple. However, only 37% of Indian men share the same sentiment on this joint venture. While Indians have changed the ‘selection process’, they have found ways to make the selection better – 1 in 2 people are on dating apps, hoping to find the love of their life.
Also Read: The Most Romantic Songs To Set Your Mood This Valentine’s Day
Sedanni adds, “They say love is blind but it actually never was. It’s just that we were very quick to call our dependencies love. We were conditioned to believe that as soon as we have found an arranged marriage match, and the first time we put the engagement ring on them we should say I love you. Love is a feeling that is cultivated over time and people have understood that it’s important to become financially independent. Nobody wants to be stranded in case of difficulty or because they are financially dependent on someone. Needing somebody and being in a relationship with them is a need-based relationship, love is when you don’t need the person but you still want to be with the person. However, when a person learns to make their own money they also find a lot of respect, and self-esteem in themselves and when they feel they are good enough that’s when they have a tendency to choose a better partner for themselves.”
Yeh dil ka mamla hai Babu bhai
As much as we would like to believe that we have evolved and put on a strong front as opposed to Devdas, 3 out of 5 Indians (60%) believe that heartbreak results in a fear of being alone, and not finding love again. Another key aspect is the concept of ending is easier than fixing, where 72% of 33 to 38 years and 67% of 27 to 32-year-old Indians agree that it’s easier to break up than fix the relationship. Also, finding the best alternative, 48% of Indians think it’s best to start a new relationship to move on. Women are taking a practical approach, while men seem to be the emotional Romeos. 53% of women have a ‘forget your ex, move on to the next’ attitude. But 66% of men are open to going back to their first love.
While talking about breakups, Sedanni mentions, “Relationships teach us important lessons in life. On an average, they say that each person goes through at least three relationships which means they will ultimately face two breakups. Everyone has to go through heartbreaks, betrayals and more but we have to learn to face them and not run away from them”.
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