‘Amma’ is no more. She passed away around 11 pm on June 20. For the past few years, she had been ill, suffering from memory loss and dementia. This was strange for a strong-willed woman whose level of activity was higher than usual, both physically and mentally. Due to dementia, my mother was bedridden in her last few years, despite being physically healthy. She was not able to remember anything due to dementia and even used to forget to eat food.
She was completely attached to her village, her maternal village and not her in-laws’ house. Her village was Haluar Pipra in Bihar’s Gopalganj district. There are many towns and villages named Pipra in Bihar, so to keep this one distinct, it was named Haluar Pipra. Also, Haluar is the name of an adjacent village. Hence, the name Haluar Pipra.
My mother died in Indirapuram, Ghaziabad. My elder brother and I live in a society in Indirapuram. He is in the banking sector. At the time of her demise, my mother was at my brother’s flat. After her demise, it was decided that the last rites should be performed in Pipra. After all, Amma spent most of her life here. Be it as a schoolgirl during her childhood days or as a teacher. She retired from government service in 1998. By that time, my brother had completed 10 years working in the State Bank and I had been in journalism for three years.
THE PIPRA CONNECTION
If she wanted, she could have lived with both of us in the metro cities with all comforts. Even though we wanted the same, she was never ready for this. Even if Amma came to stay with my brother, who had lived in different parts of the country, or me while I was in Ahmedabad or Delhi, she stayed with us only for a week or two. She always wanted to return to Pipra.
Her identity was linked to Pipra. There people used to know us because of her and not vice-versa. We were identified as the sons of Rajrani Devi and it wasn’t like people remembered her because she was our mother. She was ready to live there alone and not with us. She left the village only when it became difficult for her to remember anything due to dementia. Bhaiya brought her along with him. During her last days, mother did not even know where she was and even when she felt anything, she used to ask us to take her to the village immediately.
This was the reason why we decided to perform the last rites in Pipra. When Amma died, at that time, I was in Kargil with my wife and two children. After travelling the whole night, crossing the difficult Zojila Pass, we reached Srinagar on the morning of June 21. The flight was at 11 AM.
Prime Minister Narendra Modi was also in Srinagar that morning. An International Yoga Day programme was organized, where thousands of people from the Kashmir Valley were doing yoga with him in the SKICC hall, with full enthusiasm. On that morning, the yoga programme was to be held on the lawns of SKICC on the banks of Dal Lake, but nature had other plans. It started raining heavily and the programme had to be conducted in the hall.
My mother passed away in the night and the next morning there was a program of International Yoga Day, in which PM Modi was present. While I was distressed due to her passing away, I recalled the time when she was most happy. This also had a connection with the International Yoga Day and Modi.
AMMA’s HAPPINESS, PM MODI AND YOGA DAY
After all, what relationship can there be between my mother’s happiness, PM Modi and International Yoga Day? Apart from my family members, very few people know about this story.
I was not even going to make this story public. In today’s world, where one capitalises on the display of relationships, especially close relationships with big and influential people, to elevate one’s status, I have been hesitant in this regard. Showing off relationships with powerful people is not in my nature. I believe that the beauty and dignity of relationships are greater when there is no selfishness behind them, and when one does not try to show off in order to show his influence.
However, I decided to make this story public after my mother’s death due to two reasons. I reached Patna by flight on the evening of June 21 after my journey from Kargil to Srinagar and then from Srinagar to Delhi. By the time we reached the village home — about 125 kilometres away from Patna — which Amma had built with her own hard-earned money, it was 9.15 pm.
Amma’s mortal remains had not even arrived yet; my brother was on his way. The neighbours had come to ask when Amma’s body would arrive. She was also the aunt of the entire village. The situation was such that she was the aunt of four generations. In most of the families of the village, from father to great-grandson. Why aunt? It’s because she stayed in her parent’s house instead of her in-laws’ house for most of the time even after her marriage.
A LIFE DEDICATED TO EDUCATION
The reason for living in her parents’ home was also special. During the 1950s, very few girls went to schools, and in villages, only a handful of them got this opportunity. Amma’s eldest sister was the first student in her school, but she died when she reached Grade 5. The people of the village started telling my grandfather that she died because she was sent to school to study.
Because of this, the two sisters after her could not study or go to school. When those two sisters grew up, they sent my mother, who was the younger sister, to school despite all opposition. My mother was also stubborn. She did not worry about the taunts of neighbours and studied hard.
Born in 1938, my mother started working as a primary school teacher in 1958. At that time, there were very few women teachers. My mother was only the third female teacher in her block. One can only imagine what the conditions were for women back then.
HER ROLE IN ENCOURAGING WOMEN
Neither were they encouraged to study, nor to vote. Perhaps this was the reason when the mother established herself as a school teacher, she used to force the women of the village to come out and vote. After all, how could she accept that women were deprived of the biggest festival of democracy?
She got married in June 1960 and had completed two years while working. Satyanarayan Singh, who was the Deputy Inspector of Schools at that time, had accepted my mother as the wife of his younger brother. Soon the wedding was held, but the relationship was not very cordial and did not last long. The father was not very serious about education and as per the tradition of that time, the daughter-in-law was stuck only in household work.
This was not acceptable to the self-respecting mother as she could not give up her means of empowerment, education and the government job. However, the mother-in-law did not approve of this. An angry mother-in-law got her son married for a second time. In those times, a second marriage was not unusual. Even though the Hindu Code Bill was there, people could easily get married for a second time without getting a divorce.
After the second marriage of her husband, my mother almost distanced herself from her in-laws and only visited them occasionally. She made the upbringing of her two children and her teaching job the mission of her life. She was a strict teacher and was serious about the education of all children in the school. Her students still remember her as an ideal teacher.
When Amma was teaching or retired after four decades of service, people from the nearby village, block or district used to call her ‘Devi ji’. During those times when female teachers were few in number, male teachers were called ‘Master Saheb’, but ‘Devi Ji’ was used to address the female teachers.
PM MODI’S VIRTUE OF MAINTAINING TIES
Not even 15 minutes had passed talking about ‘Amma’ with the people of the village on the evening of June 21, when my mobile phone rang. I had not been taking phone calls since morning. Due to the feeling of emptiness because of Amma’s demise, I did not even feel like talking. When I looked at the mobile screen, instead of the number, ‘No Caller ID’ was written.
It didn’t take me even a second to understand whose phone this could be. There are a lot of people who use the facility of ‘No Caller ID’. For many, it is also a status symbol, apart from security and privacy. But I clearly felt that this call, at 9.33pm, could be from only one person, and that would be Prime Minister Narendra Modi.
As a few people were sitting together, I went on the road to receive the call to have a private conversation. After receiving the phone call, I heard the operator’s voice, ‘Is this Brajesh Kumar Singh ji?’ As soon as I said yes, I was told that the Prime Minister would talk to me and in the next second Narendrabhai was on the line. Yes, the Prime Minister of the country, Narendra Modi.
In the past 25 years, ever since I have known him, I’ve always addressed him as Narendrabhai. In Gujarati culture, there has been a tradition of adding ‘bhai’ with the male name and ‘ben’ with the female name. From the Sangh days to the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP), he was referred to as ‘Narendrabhai’. In later days, as his political stature went up, most of the people in the party and social life started addressing him as Saheb or Modi ji.
CM TO PM, BUT NO CHANGE IN NATURE
Narendrabhai went on from being the general secretary of the BJP to being the Chief Minister of Gujarat for more than 13 years and now being the Prime Minister of the country for more than 10 years after winning three consecutive elections, but I’ve never felt any difference in his behaviour. Earlier also I used to call him Narendrabhai and I do so even today. I never felt that now he has any problem in being addressed as Narendrabhai or he does not like it. Over the years, I saw him having more polite behaviour. I saw him setting a great example of how relationships should be maintained.
A question arises as to why I had a belief that the ‘No Caller ID’ call on the evening after my mother’s death would be from the PM. Behind this is a story related to my mother. It is six years old. The kind of respect he gave to my mother six years ago was incomparable, even exemplary for other people in social life.
If we talk in terms of the time period, this story is from June 2018. That year, the celebration of International Yoga Day was held in Dehradun. I also feel very connected with International Yoga Day because when Narendra Modi, on his first US visit as the Prime Minister, proposed it at the United Nations General Assembly, I was present there in the media gallery. Post that, there were reports of how most of the countries of the world have given consent for this with record speed over a period of time. I got the opportunity to report how June 21 is being celebrated as International Yoga Day not only in India, but also in many countries and cities around the world.
WHY 2018 YOGA DAY REMAINS SPECIAL
The main event of International Yoga Day was held in Dehradun on the evening of June 21, 2018. Prime Minister Modi was going to participate in it. The same evening, while honouring my request, he agreed to inaugurate, through video-conferencing, a wellness centre in New York associated with the same group for which I was working and address it.
This programme was over by 9 in the evening and after half-an-hour, a call came from the Prime Minister’s Office (PMO) from an officer who has been with Modi continuously from tenure as the Chief Minister. After retirement, till now he has been working, having the responsibility of Modi ji’s schedule and his appointments. He decides who the PM will meet and when, after taking instructions from Modi himself. He is a very private person by nature, that’s why I am not disclosing his name.
I thought that the programme had just ended and perhaps the official was calling to talk about an issue that cropped up. Therefore, as soon as I received the call, the first thing I asked was whether there was any problem with the programme. Instead of talking about it, he directly asked, “Your mother is going to your elder brother’s place tomorrow, right?”
Tomorrow, i.e. June 22, 2018. Immediately I recalled the conversation I had with Narendrabhai in the first week of June regarding the programme on the evening of the International Yoga Day. That day my mood was not very good. For the first time, I realised that everything was not well with my mother. She even forgets to dial the phone and forgets the directions as well. Also, sometimes she faces difficulty in recognising people. Besides this, she also does not remember to take a bath or have food on time.
All this was happening to a woman who had made her own way amid the challenges of the conservative society and raised her children well while facing all kinds of hardships. When both her children were fully established in their respective professions, our mother had the opportunity to live a happy life. However, at the same time, her memory was failing and symptoms of dementia were showing up.
Narendrabhai was on the phone, but he sensed my mind as if he was sitting in front of me and reading my face. He asked, “Brajesh Babu, you seem a little worried, what is the matter?” I naturally told him, “Narendrabhai, I am troubled from within and my mother’s health is not good.” He took detailed information about my mother’s health, from childhood to her present condition. Then he said, “Come with your mother to me sometime, maybe she will like it.”
For me, this was no less than a pleasant surprise. Especially while thinking about my mother. A woman for whom not just the DM, but even the BDO was a top official during her tenure as a teacher was now being invited 16 years after her retirement to meet the Prime Minister of the country. What greater happiness could I have given to my mother than this? At that time, we were not sure for how long Mother would be able to remember things and events. She was losing her memory rapidly.
While immediately controlling my emotions, I said, “Whenever you have free time, I would bring her along.” Narendrabhai further asked, “Till when will your mother be there with you?” I told him that she was there till the evening of June 22. “After that, I will take her to my brother in Pune.” He said, “Okay, let’s see, I will tell you the time.”
From what I have been able to understand about PM Modi in the last 25 years, it can be established that if it is a useful or meaningful matter, he has no shortage of time. But does not have even a second for useless things.
PM MODI’s TIME MANAGEMENT
One should learn from him about time management and its importance. Whenever work-related talk is over during a meeting or phone conversation, he does not have even a spare second. People who know him well also keep this in mind. You should insist on meeting or talking to him only when there is something meaningful or concrete to talk about and not just for the sake of feeling that if there is a chance, you should meet him.
I paid attention to the officer’s words as he asked if your mother was leaving tomorrow itself. Obviously, this was known only between Narendrabhai and I, and there was no discussion on it with anyone.
While handling the most important responsibility of the Prime Minister amidst his busy schedule, Narendra Modi wants to meet a retired teacher to make her feel good, that too within a fixed time limit, only because she is beginning to struggle with dementia. Only Narendra Modi can do this.
I remember when Modi had just become the Prime Minister and hundreds of people used to come to meet him during the Parliament session. Once I asked him how he found so much time. Narendrabhai replied, “I always have time for common man.” Most of the earlier Prime Ministers had maximum time only for influential people. Only the person who defines the Prime Minister as a ‘Pradhan Sewak’ could do this.
To the officer’s question, I answered “yes”. My mother was going to Pune on the evening of June 22 as I had to drop her to my brother’s place. The officer said that ‘Saheb’ had called to meet at 10 AM and whether it was convenient. Imagine, the Prime Minister of the country wants to meet us, and the question is being asked about our convenience. I immediately said, “Yes.”
After some time, another call came and I was asked to bring along my wife and children. Narendrabhai himself must have said this, he knows that if you are calling an elderly woman who is suffering from dementia, it is necessary to have some other woman in the family to accompany her. And if it is a nuclear family, then how will they come while leaving the children home? What could have been a happier occasion than this for my wife and children?
After some time, I got a call from the same officer for the third time. He stated ‘Saheb’ had requested us to do breakfast at his residence, so come half-an-hour earlier. We will finish the breakfast and then meet the Prime Minister. We agreed. Then the officer asked if there was a need for a wheelchair as that could also be arranged for my mother. I said that there would be no need, by that time she had not forgotten to walk.
All this conversation happened when I was still in the office. After reaching home, I talked about it to my mother, wife and children. Obviously, everyone was overjoyed. The eyes of my mother, who had started forgetting people’s names in general, lit up as soon as we talked to her about meeting Modiji tomorrow. I think she wasn’t able to sleep properly the whole night.
The next morning when it was time to leave, my mother was nervous, wondering how she would meet him, what she would talk about, whether she would talk to him while standing or sitting, or how she should address him. I could understand the problems and anxiety of a retired middle school teacher. My mother, who had the chance to directly communicate with the DM on a few occasions during her entire career, was nervous at the thought of meeting and talking to the Prime Minister of the country.
I drove my car and reached the Prime Minister’s residence at the appointed time. In September 2016, within two-and-a-half years of taking oath as the Prime Minister for the first time, Modi changed the name of the Prime Minister’s official residence, 7, Race Course Road to 7, Lok Kalyan Marg. With full respect, the SPG jawans made my mother, my wife and two children sit in two vehicles and they started moving. Earlier, too, I had the opportunity to visit the Prime Minister’s residence. That’s why the map was etched in my mind.
Although 7 Lok Kalyan Marg is recognised as the residence of the Prime Minister, in reality, it is the residential office of the Prime Minister. After the assassination of Indira Gandhi, some bungalows on Race Course Road were earmarked for the PM’s use when Rajiv Gandhi was the Prime Minister. From 1 to 11, but only odd-numbered bungalows. 1, 3, 5, 7, 9 and 11. The bungalow built on 1 was demolished and a helipad for the Prime Minister was built. One of the three and five number bungalows served as the residence of different Prime Ministers, while bungalow number seven served as the official residential office, bungalow number nine served as the SPG office and bungalow number 11 was for big meetings or store documents related to the PMO.
When our car was moving between these bungalows, we saw that the car did not stop at 7, Lok Kalyan Marg, but moved a little further. I thought, what is this? By then I looked ahead and realised that both the cars had stopped at bungalow number five.
Prime Minister Modi uses it as a guest house, and he lives in bungalow number three. Since his days of trying to become a sanyasi and later working as a pracharak of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), he did not have any special relations with his family members. So it is likely that he rarely uses this guest house.
Narendra Modi’s mother also came here once to meet her favourite son. PM Modi was walking with her while she was sitting in a wheelchair. These pictures showed the country and the world a glimpse of Modi’s emotional side.
WHEN MY FAMILY BECAME MODI’S GUESTS
On the morning of June 22, my mother and my family were the guests of PM Modi. His personal assistant was standing outside bungalow number five. After warm greetings, he took us inside. As soon as I sat down, I noticed that chocolates were kept on the table. As children were coming, there should be chocolates for them. This is how detailed Narendrabhai thinks and instructs his staff to make necessary arrangements.
Breakfast was served immediately with Gujarati dishes like khamman and dhokla. We lived in Ahmedabad for about one-and-a-half decades, so he had an idea of what we would like for breakfast. Before he came to meet us at 10 am, we had two rounds of tea with breakfast. Normally, Prime Minister Modi meets visitors only at his residential office at 7, Lok Kalyan Marg, but he had invited my mother to his private guest house. This was his way of showing respect.
At exactly 10, some movement was seen outside. My wife was sitting in front of the door. Through gestures, she said that it looks like the PM is here. After this, there was no movement for the next 30 seconds and we were anxious. When I signalled to my wife, she said that he had gone to the other side.
Before we could think anything else, an employee entered inside, holding a big box in his hand. Following him was Prime Minister Modi. As soon as Narendrabhai entered, he greeted my mother with folded hands and said that he brought it, especially for her. The box was kept on the centretable. When looked carefully, it was a box of litchi and Dehradun was written on it. A day ago, the Prime Minister was in Dehradun for the International Yoga Day programme. After 24 hours, he was going to call my mother to meet her. Before that, he brought gifts from Dehradun.
Look at the way he displays emotions, especially respect. If he wanted, somebody could have kept this box of litchi on the table. Someone could have given it to us after the meeting. But just before meeting my mother, bringing it on his own and presenting it to her, shows his greatness. It was a special way of making an elderly woman feel happy.
He came and sat right in front of my mother, with my wife and children sitting next. When we reached the Prime Minister’s residence, we thought that he would sit for a couple of minutes, Narendrabhai would inquire about Amma’s well-being, there would be a small conversation and then we would go out. Breakfast had already been served, hence there was no formality left to serve anything else.
But no. When Narendrabhai started talking with his mother, he did not stop. Most of the topics of conversation were questions about the mother’s early life. Narendrabhai knew that a dementia patient does not remember recent events and old memories are the last to go from the mind. It’s a layer-like thing, the thing that comes into the brain last is the first to go.
Therefore, questions were asked about her teaching days. For example, how did you go to school when it was difficult for girls to come out, or how did you decide to become a teacher, or how did you raise your children single-handedly? There was also a discussion on the conditions prevailing within the society in the initial phase after Independence.
My mother was nervous before meeting him, but after the ease with which Narendrabhai started the conversation, all her hesitations and fears vanished. She was answering each and every question with great enthusiasm and Narendrabhai was listening to her with full seriousness. Occasionally, he asked a few questions to the children and my wife, but mostly focused on my mother.
THE WAY MODI MAKES PEOPLE FEEL SPECIAL
While sitting next to him, I tried to get his attention. When the Prime Minister is in front of you and is in a good mood, you want to know many things. At that time, the circumstances were also interesting. Just two days ago, the BJP had withdrawn support from Mehbooba Mufti’s government, and the Governor’s rule was imposed in the erstwhile state. This was a sign of some big change in Kashmir and it seemed that the Modi government was going to take some big step. Who knew at that time that within 15 months of that meeting, Modi was going to abolish Article 370 from Kashmir, which the BJP or before Jan Sangh always talked about, but no one thought that this would actually happen.
I couldn’t stop myself and asked him about what was going to happen in Kashmir. He said that there is no shortcut solution to Kashmir, the problem with journalists is that they want everything instant, and they have no idea of the seriousness of the problem. Kashmir is a very serious problem, it will take time to solve it.
After answering my question, he once again became engrossed in talking to my mother. Meanwhile, the phone buzzer rang twice from outside and it was being told that it was time for the next programme. Both the times, Narendrabhai replied, “After some time.” Finally, the telephone rang for the third time, I looked at the clock, it was already 11. By then, the Prime Minister of the country talked to my mother for an hour, while I managed to steal a minute of it for myself.
Narendrabhai stood up, rang the bell and said send the photographer. He wanted to take a photograph with my mother. Modi, with whom people across the world want to take a selfie, was telling my mother that I have to get a picture clicked with you, to make her feel good. After clicking the formal photo, he folded his hands in front of my mother and said, “Mother, please bless me, so that we can do some good work for the country.”
My emotional mother blessed him profusely. The Prime Minister of the country, that too a powerful PM like Narendra Modi, who had formed the first non-Congress government in the history of the country on his own and with a majority, was seeking blessings from a woman from an ordinary background. It can only be imagined how happy my mother must have been.
While leaving the room, Narendrabhai instructed the attendant to pick up the box. Turning towards my mother, he said this box of litchi is for you, you have to take it. He also asked the children, why haven’t eaten the chocolate yet. He picked it up himself and put it in their shirt pocket.
Prime Minister Modi sat in the car, his convoy went out. It came to my mind that today the online ground-breaking ceremony for the new commerce building has been organized at Vigyan Bhawan, while the scheduled time of the program was 11am. In order to make my mother feel good and provide support during her deteriorating mental health, the punctual Narendrabhai had compromised with his rule, which must have been an exception.
Over the next 10 days after this meeting, my mother always kept talking about PM Modi, his simplicity and humility. She could not believe that she had met the Prime Minister and talked to him for an hour. Gradually this also slipped from her mind over the next few months. After all, dementia first forces one to forget recent events, even if those events were the most important and most joyous events of that person’s life.
After meeting my mother, Narendra Modi did not forget her. Whenever I met him, the first thing he did was to ask in detail about my mother’s health. That too not just as a formality, but from the depth of the heart. Now the world knows how much affection he had for his mother. Hiraba was his only link with his family members. Whenever he went to Gandhinagar, he met his mother, ate food prepared by her and took her blessings on every important occasion.
During her last few days, when Hiraba was admitted to the hospital, she used to remember only her beloved Narendra. When Modi reached the hospital to see her, she was happy to see her son even in an unconscious state and expressed her happiness with hand gestures.
After his mother’s demise, PM Modi had reached the crematorium in Gandhinagar for her last rites. This was not a VIP event, apart from family members, only a few party leaders and some old friends were present. Modi arrived carrying his mother’s bier on his shoulders and lit the funeral pyre. At that time, Modi was staring at his mother’s funeral pyre and a surge of emotions was visible. I was one of the very few people who were present at the cremation ground in Gandhinagar and got to see closely the personal side of Narendra Modi as a son and the tide of emotions.
MODI’s CONNECT WITH AMMA
That’s why on the evening of June 21 when I received a call with ‘No Caller ID’, it did not take me even a second to understand that it must be Narendrabhai and no one else. Very few people know this side of Modi, who consoled me like an elder brother on my mother’s death. Most people see him as an able administrator and an aggressive leader. That’s why today I decided to make this six-year-old story public. People who want to evaluate Modi correctly should know this.
My mother died on June 20, and on the 22nd, she was cremated in her village. Amid the mental anguish of the last three days and the grief of the loss of my mother, I got to see my personal email box this morning. I didn’t even check it for the past few days. It contained a mail that came from the Prime Minister’s Office. There was an attachment in the mail. When I opened it, I found out that it was a letter from PM Modi paying tribute to my mother and consoling me and my family. This letter is also dated June 21, the same date on which Narendrabhai himself had called and expressed his condolences on my mother’s demise and consoled me.
Thank you, Narendrabhai, for thinking about my mother in between your busy schedule and providing emotional support after losing her. In today’s era, when even small-time leaders and officials do not have time to think about anything except work and themselves, someone should learn from you how to maintain personal relationships.
Comments
0 comment