HYDERABAD: At the far end of the hall at feminist and writer Vasanth Kannabiran’s house, there’s a picture of herself in a conversation with her late husband and rights activist KG Kannabiran in the backdrop of an arid, dirt road that stretches far. “It’s the only photo..of us together taken in recent years. It’s quite symbolic of the journey we have had together,” the poet in Vasanth Kannabiran recalls, looking at it for a long while.She couldn’t have put it better. The author, whose latest work, A Grief to Bury -- Memories of Love, Work & Loss, is due to be released shortly, appears to have come to grips with the irreparable loss of KG Kannabiran. “My book is not essentially about KG Kannabiran,” she quickly clarifies.It’s a chronicle of the journey of a relationship from the perspective of 12 women who have lost their partners after decades of living together. It not only explores how women negotiate a long relationship but also how they deal with the inevitability of its sad end. By her own admission, the idea to pen such a book was fuelled in part by her own experience. “It’s an idea fuelled partly by my own unacknowledged fears and anxiety of how to cope with the loss of a partner and partly, by watching friends and family coping with grief,” she explains.Seated in a sofa, Vasanth Kannabiran, known for her feminist writings, speaks passionately about women’s rights. “Marriage is a warping institution. It stunts intellectual growth of a person,” she maintains, comparing a married woman’s life to a bonsai, which could have been a fully-grown tree. However, for her and the women she has chronicled, the institution proved to be a nurturing one. “We and our husbands grew through the relationship. There are many whom I know who have had a fruitful relationship. Mutual respect is the key,” she observes.Was her loss influential in shaping the book in anyway? “Thankfully, I started the book in 2005 and the final copy had been sent to the publishers in June, 2010. I wouldn’t have been able to work on it after December, 2010,” she confesses. The epilogue captures her narrative following the death of KG Kannabiran in December 2010. “I am the 13th woman in the book,” Vasanth quips with a smile that’s pregnant with meaning.A Grief to Bury captures the loves and lives of 12 women born before independence. Vasanth Kannabiran calls it the chronicles of a generation “where marriage was not about living happily ever after but about working at it.” Of the women, Neera Desai, Meenakshi Mukherjee and Jayalakshmi Narayan did not live to see the manuscript.“I am glad that the book is finally out as there was a phase after completion when I felt I might not be able to bring it out. Neera had warned me against making the book a posthumous volume. For those who opened up to me and shared their confidences, not to bring it out would have been unfaithful,” feels Vasanth.She says that more than an intellectual exercise, it was an emotional one. “For five years when the book was being shaped, I was living through them,” she adds.Besides the book, Vasanth Kannabiran has also written a ballet which will be choreographed by Rajeswari Sainath. “It is my third ballet and the one to be performed next month centres around relationships as well,” Vasanth reveals.A Grief to Bury -- Memories of Love, Work & Loss will be launched on Saturday by Orient BlackSwan
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