Get the ball rolling with cute emojis.
An emoji text works best if you send it a few hours after meeting them. Emojis work great because they’re casual, fun, and you don’t have to stress over a perfectly worded initial text. Send a short string of emojis (1 to 3 is fine) and go with cute ones like the winking face, kissing face, and/or heart eyes. Hopefully, they’ll respond with their own string of emojis or simply say “hi.” Either way, you’re in! Emojis might be an awkward opener if it’s been a while since you met.
Say something silly to break the ice.
Making them giggle straightaway is never a bad thing! This is another one that works best if you met the person within the last day or so. Also, humor can be tough to pull off when you don’t know someone well, so aim for something pretty absurd that is clearly meant to be a joke. For example: "Just noticed my wallet is gone. You pickpocketed me earlier, didn't you?!" To prevent any confusion, add a few laughing and/or winking emojis. With initial humor, it’s better to be safe than sorry. If you aren’t sure about the text, don’t send it.
Lead with something playful and flirty.
If you want to get straight to flirting, this can be a cute technique. This might not work for everyone, but if you have the right personality and sense of humor to pull it off, it can be very charming. Keep your flirting playful and lighthearted so you don't come on too strong, too fast, though. For example: "Oh hey, it’s Jen, your future girlfriend. So...what are you up to?" Put a smiling, laughing, and/or winking emoji after that. "Hey, it’s Allen, the guy from earlier with the unbelievably sexy eyes." Add a laughing and/or winking emoji at the end.
Bring up something you noticed about them.
This is the perfect icebreaker as long as you remember a good detail. For example, were they wearing a band T-shirt, sporting a cool pair of glasses, or carrying a book? If so, get the ball rolling by commenting on it. For example: "I noticed you were wearing a Taylor Swift shirt the other day. I’m a big fan! What did you think of her newest album?" "Saw that you were carrying Neil Gaiman’s new novel when we met. I adore his work! Have you seen the Good Omens adaptation yet?"
Reference your first conversation.
This is a smooth way to pick up right where you left off. You exchanged numbers when you met, so you must have chatted about something and clicked, right? Replay the conversation over in your mind and choose something cool that you can text about. For example: "You mentioned you have a dog. Can I see a few pics? I’m thinking of adopting but I can’t decide on a breed." "Just read the article you were telling me about the other day. OMG. We need to discuss." "Finally watched the season finale of Black Summer. I thought I'd seen it all when it comes to zombie flicks, but that was crazy!"
Ask for an opinion or suggestion.
If you want to break the ice and stroke their ego a bit, try this. Asking someone for a recommendation or opinion is a subtle way to make them feel valued. You don’t want to ask for any major life advice, though! Stick with fun, low-key topics like a TV series, movie, or video game. For example: If they brought up a TV series that they’re into, say: "Got any ideas on what I should binge watch next on Netflix?" If they mentioned music or being a musician, try: "I need some new music to listen to! Do you have suggestions?" If they mentioned video games, say: “I am so over Fortnite. What should I play next?”
Be casual and direct if it’s been a while.
If it’s been more than 2 days since you met, remind them who you are. Since you exchanged numbers when you met, they probably didn't forget about you. If some time has passed since your initial meeting, though, you may not be super fresh in their mind! Keep your first text simple by stating who you are, where you met, and mention that you really enjoyed meeting them. For example: "Hi, it’s Sienna from the bar. Really enjoyed meeting you! How’s it going?" "Hey, Richard here—we met at the bookstore last week. It was great meeting you!"
Get to know them with open-ended questions.
Once you’ve texted back and forth a bit, go a little deeper. Your ultimate goal is probably to ask this person out, right? Getting to know them better can help facilitate that! Think about things they’ve already mentioned (even in passing) and ask about something that interested you. Go with questions that require more than a “yes” or “no” answer to keep the conversation flowing. For example: "You mentioned you work for a local tech company. What’s your favorite part about your job?" "Since you love to travel, here’s a question: if you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?" "You told me you sometimes volunteer at animal shelters. What’s that like?"
Avoid overwhelming them with texts.
And be chill if they don’t text you back right away. It can be pretty nerve-wracking if the person you've texted isn't responding. It’s easy to get nervous and send more texts, just hoping that something will get their attention. Resist the urge to do this! They might be busy at work, on vacation, or dealing with a family situation. Give them a day or so to respond. If they never respond, you could follow up or just delete their number and move on. After all, there are other fish in the sea! If they do respond, limit how often you text them so they don’t feel overwhelmed. 1-3 texts per day is plenty if you don’t know this person. If they continue to initiate conversation, though, feel free to follow their lead.
Text for a few days before asking them to hang out.
Build some trust and a rapport before meeting up IRL. If you're interested in this person romantically, asking them out too soon might make them uncomfortable. Let your text conversation evolve naturally over the course of a few days. At that point, if you’re really hitting it off and suspect they're digging you, too, see if they want to do something low-key like grab a coffee. If you're trying to start a new friendship, it's still a good idea to get to know them a little better before meeting up in person. If you've bonded over a common interest, ask them to do something related to that. For example, if you’ve been texting back and forth about sci-fi movies, see if they want to check out the new sci-fi flick at your local theater.
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