Learning How To Tease
Joke about her habits. Notice the things she does while you are around her. Then, make a sly comment about how she does a certain thing. For example, if she tosses her hair when she laughs, say something like: “Watch out where you throw that, you’re gonna put my eye out!” Not only will she laugh, she'll know that you've been watching her and notice things about her. Be open to letting her tease you back. Try to leave your comments open for her to tease you about something similar. This way, it will be a back and forth instead of assault from you. Make sure it doesn't come out as insulting. The idea is to make her smile and laugh.
Incorporate physical teasing. A good way to tease her that has the added bonus of bringing you into contact with her is by doing some physical teasing, such as playing keep away. This is especially effective if you pair it with doing something nice for her. Think about buying her a present, like tickets to a concert she wants to go to. Offer the tickets to her, then pull it away. Each time you do this, bring her a little closer to you. This is playful and a good way to tease her, but you end up doing something nice for her as well. You can also tickle or poke her teasingly, trying to get a reaction out of her. If she responds, you can amp it up a little.
Make the teasing positive. Although teasing usually incorporates some kind of jibe at the girl, try to give it a positive spin. If she keeps stumbling over her words, instead of insulting her ability to talk, ask her something like: "What's with all the stumbled words? Are you trying to confuse me and throw me off your trail?" This implies that she is purposefully stumbling over her words in order to mess with you instead of making fun of her for making a mistake. It is a playful way to draw attention to it while not being a jerk about it. This can also work with her physical appearance. If she is wearing a particularly high pair of heels, make some comment like: "Well, at least I know we're safe if we get mugged. You could stab them with those heels." It points out that you noticed what she's wearing but gently teases her about their height. It teases her subtly without critiquing her appearance.
Give her a nickname. As you are spending time together, take notice of something about her, like how much she laughs or the kind of movies she likes. Based on your observations, give you a nickname. You can say something like: "I see you're really into Star Wars. I guess I should start calling you Jedi Jane." If you make it playful and fun, she'll be more likely to play along.
Be friendly and confident. No matter what you are telling her, make sure you say it with a smile. Also show her that you are comfortable in your own skin and are teasing because you like her. Otherwise, she might think you are serious and take whatever you say as an insult, especially if you look withdrawn and sullen. Just try to be as comfortable as possible, even if you like her a great deal. She will catch on to your mood and be less likely to take offense. Andrew Bryant Andrew Bryant, Body Language and Interpersonal Communication Expert Skillful teasing creates a subtle push-pull dynamic that sparks exciting tension. But take care not to cross lines by getting too personal or mean-spirited. Flirtatious banter should feel fun and playful for both parties, eliciting genuine smiles and laughter.
Learning How You Shouldn't Tease
Know her boundaries. While you want to be comfortable with the girl you like, you need to understand how far you can take your teasing. Understand that there are limits for what you can say and do to her before you make her uncomfortable and she is turned off by you completely. If you’re not sure about teasing her in the first place, things such as insults about her physical appearance, her family, or her friends are definitely out of the question. Make sure the level of teasing is something she is comfortable with. You may have to test out a few things before you truly understand where the boundaries are. Trust your instincts and watch for clues about how she feels.
Don't be proud. If your flirting falls flat, make sure you don't take your bad attempt out on her. Also, if you offend her, make sure you apologize. If you have a particularly sardonic sense of humor, you may say some things that don't go over very well and it may only be a matter of time before you offend her. If you've said something out of line, give her a sincere, articulate, and specific apology. Don't try to play it off as if she is being too sensitive.
Don't be inappropriate. If you have just met the girl, you can't tease her the same way you can a girl you've been dating for a few months. Making jokes about sex or inappropriately touching her are things you should avoid early on in a relationship. Make sure you aren't overly vulgar if that is going to make her uncomfortable. If you don’t know her very well, you’ll either freak her out or get a reputation as a jerk.
Avoid critiquing her. When you tease her, don't make it feel like a personal critique of something about her or something that is important to her. If she is really into saving animals, don't try to tease her with lines like: "Wow, you have a lot of cats. Does that make you a crazy cat lady?" If her passion means a lot to her, she could take the critique too harshly and you could make her feel uncomfortable. If you disagree with something she believes, try teasing her instead with something trivial to alleviate the tension. If you disagree about politics, don't critique the way she feels. Instead of insulting her views, say something like: "While I can't fault you for your opinion here, if you tell me you like Bach instead of Beethoven, then I think the date might be over." This moves the topic to something more trivial and helps stop an argument.
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