Taking Care of the Basics
Pick a date. Choose a date for the party that works for the groom, groomsmen and yourself. You should choose a date in the two weeks before the wedding if possible – choosing a Friday or Saturday will make the bachelor party easier for anyone who has to work on weekdays. Keep in mind locations for the party and how busy they’ll be at the time of year you’re going to visit.
Talk to the groom about what he wants. Make sure you have clear ideas about what activities the groom prefers and where he wants the party to be. Understand what tone he wants the party to have and what his future spouse wants. As an example, find out if he wants to go to a strip club, or if he wants to avoid that sort of activity altogether. If the answer to this is no, then you need to make it extremely clear to all the guests that the party will not involve strippers.
Set a budget. Everyone but the groom should contribute to the party, but as the best man you will be responsible for booking and paying for a lot of the party. Figure out what’s affordable for you and for the groomsmen and other friends to contribute, and set a number. For example, the groom may really want to go on a flight in space, but this is likely beyond your budget, and you could downgrade to something like skydiving instead. Keep in mind that travel costs like flights, trains or driving should be included in the budget. Once you’ve worked out what each person and you can afford, you can set a price per head for the party, for example $300 dollars per head.
Choose the main activities. Make a list of possible activities and narrow them down to budget-friendly options that the groom would prefer. Try and avoid anything insanely dangerous or activities that will go wrong if you’re drinking. Your list could include activities and sports such as golf, waterskiing, beach volleyball, wine tasting, paintballing, white water rafting, a large dinner, a night out on the town, or a camping trip. Unreasonably dangerous activities might include things like base jumping, cave diving, wild boar hunting, or a night out in a very dangerous part of a town or city. Try to avoid activities like go-karting, riding motorcycles, chartering a boat or shooting if you are going to be drinking.
Make a guest list. Include all the groomsmen as well as the groom’s good school buddies, friendly coworkers, and relatives. You should also invite younger family members on the future spouse’s side. If you’re not sure whether it’s appropriate to invite someone, for instance the groom’s father, then check with the groom before doing so. If there are any nonbinary wedding attendants, feel free to invite them as well! You should run the final guest list by the groom for approval before sending invitations.
Send invitations. Send out invitations to the party. Make sure the invitations include where the party will be, when it will be, and a mandatory RSVP to you. Keep an organized record of who you’ve invited and who RSVPs so that you have numbers for the party. You can do this handwritten or keep a typed spreadsheet or word document of the information.
Planning for Food and Accommodations
Make travel plans. Figure out how easy it is for people to get to the party location, and make travel plans for yourself, the groomsmen and the groom. Check on travel plans for close family members and friends so you can remind them to book – as the best man it’s your responsibility to make sure the core wedding group gets to the party, even though you’re not paying for all of them. For example, if you’ve invited friends or cousins from out of town, or if the party itself is out of town, you’ll need to book flights and remind others to book them too.
Make reservations for accommodation and transport. Large groups need to book in advance for hotels and cars or buses. Consider how many people are in the group, how long you will be staying for, and how often you’ll need transportation as a group. Transport for large groups can be booked through limo companies, who offer cars, minibuses or larger vehicles to take big groups around town. This is also a good way to ensure nobody needs to drive if you’re going to be drinking. When you book a hotel, consider how far it is from activities, how easy it’s going to be to get from one to the other, and who wants to share rooms.
Make reservations for activities. Some activities will not require reservations, such as going to a water park or playing mini golf, but golf, camping, snorkeling, paintballing, going to nightclubs and most other activities require reservations for large groups.
Plan for food. Decide when and where you’re going to be eating dinner, and if the party is going to last for more than a day or two where you’ll get breakfast and lunch. Decide if you’re going to eat out or hire a catering company. Plan food according to your activities and where you’re going to be staying so you have time to do everything. Check if anyone in the group has food allergies or special diet requirements before booking so you can accommodate them.
Plan for alcohol. Figure out how much and what kinds of alcohol you need to order in advance and how much you expect to buy at restaurants, clubs and bars, or during activities. Make sure you and others are going to be able to pay in cash or by card for the planned drinks when you get there. Decide if you need a catering company for drinks. Decide how much beer, wine and spirits you’ll be getting, and the amount of cocktail mixers you’ll need. Check if there’s anyone in your group who isn’t drinking so that you can provide alternatives like soda for them.
Making Sure Everyone Has Fun
Keep everything well organized. Stay in control by not having too much to drink, and make sure you know where all the members of the party are. It’s your job to make sure no one gets lost, and that meals, activities and drinks have been paid for before you leave a place. Keep a copy of bookings for activities and restaurants on your phone or as a printout to make sure there are no problems, and you’re not confused about where you’re going next.
Communicate well. Speak with the groomsmen, friends and relations at the party and make sure that everyone is happy and having a good time. Help people or groups who don’t know each other start conversations and get on. Do rounds of the party at each activity and place you visit as a way to check in with everyone frequently.
Stay safe. Ensure nobody drives when the party has been drinking, and that party members don’t wander off alone in nightclubs, city streets or other potentially dangerous areas. A good way to do this is to have a buddy system – everyone in the group should pair up with someone else, that way if anyone goes missing it will be immediately obvious who it is. Check where the potentially dangerous areas in the city you’re visiting are so that you don’t end up there by accident. These could include places where gangs spend time or even buffet restaurants with a terrible reputation.
Handle problems. Take care of any mishaps, arguments or accidents. Make sure you pay attention to party members who’ve had too much to drink or feel ill from food, travel or activities. If they need to go back to the hotel or home, make sure they get there safely by checking their transport options and calling or booking it for them. Other problems could include sorting out transport if you end up in the wrong place, cancelling credit cards if someone loses their wallet, calming down an argument in a nightclub, helping someone who gets injured during an activity, and stopping drunk people getting tattoos. Know the phone numbers of hotel concierge, local limo and cab companies, and emergency services in case of an accident.
Pay attention to the groom. He may have last minute requests for you at the party, or he may need your help to avoid situations he thinks are inappropriate. It’s your job as best man to make sure he is having a really great time. Many bachelor parties involve making fun of the groom or taking pictures of him in amusing or compromising positions – as the best man it’s your job to make sure none of this gets out of control, or happens without the groom’s consent.
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