How to Live With Disabilities

Adjusting Emotionally

Learn about your disability. Knowledge is power, so learning about your disability can give you the power to live with it. Particularly if the disability is new to you, you should speak with your physician about what to expect. Some questions to ask include: Is the disability temporary or permanent? Are there common complications or secondary illnesses that often accompany the disability? Are there any physical or emotional resources or support groups available in your area? Will ongoing treatment or physical therapy be required to manage your disability? What alterations might you need to make to your previous lifestyle, job, or activities to adapt them to a new or progressing disability? If your disability is progressing, how quickly is the progression likely to take place? Are there means of slowing the progression?

Accept your situation. Possibly the hardest aspect of emotionally adjusting to a disability is coming to terms with your prognosis. While it is always good to hope for and work towards recovery, if you do so while looking at your current state with disdain, you may end up depressed and unsuccessful. You need to accept your current situation as well as your possible future. By doing so, you'll be able to focus your efforts on improving your standard of living, rather than on how upset you are with the way things are working out. Don't confuse acceptance with laziness. Accepting simply means that you fully understand that your situation is what it is; you still have the ability to work on improving it, though. Denying or ignoring the severity of your disability can make regular emotional and physical tasks much more difficult.

Focus on your present and future, not your past. If you are new to having a disability as a result of an accident or a progressing illness, it can be very hard not to compare your present state to the way things were in the past. Letting go of your past goes hand in hand with accepting your situation. You don't need to forget the way you were previously, but you shouldn't look at your past with despair because of your present situation. Enjoy the memories from the past (before you might have suffered a disability) but don't let them hold you back. Always be in the process of moving forward and aiming to improve your current situation. You can still spend time reminiscing, but don't let it depress you. If you find that you spend all your time thinking about your life before, you should aim to do other activities that force you to plan for the future.

Allow yourself to grieve. It is normal for those experiencing a new or progressing disability to mourn the loss of your “old self.” It is okay to take time to acknowledge the emotions that you have regarding the change in your life. Realizing that it is okay to be sad or angry about your changing situation and allowing yourself to feel those emotions can help you move past them.

Do your best to keep positive. People who are optimistic when suffering a troubling circumstance tend to be happier and healthier than those who are cynical about their lives. You can make a huge difference in your mental and physical functioning by aiming to stay positive even when you're going through some difficult things. Although the idiom might be worn out, always look on the bright side. You can't be reliant on external stimuli and experiences for your happiness; you need to take responsibility for your own happiness, or you may never find it. Try to find the good in each situation, even if it is something small. Whenever you feel like making a negative comment, consciously stop yourself. Realize that you're being negative and try to counter each negative thought with a positive one.

Don't isolate yourself. It can be tempting to want to avoid people and social situations when you're feeling down, but doing so will only make you feel worse. Don't use your disability as an excuse to isolate yourself from friends and family or activities you love. Instead, you should be doing the opposite. Take whatever chances you're given to get out and experience new and exciting things. Hang out with friends, go to social gatherings, visit family, try new hobbies. You'll be much happier if you're doing enjoyable things with people you love. Spending time by yourself is different from isolating yourself. You should always try to fit in alone time, but don't spend all of your time alone. Consider having a weekly date with a close friend or family member. That way, you'll always have a reason to get out and see someone you enjoy.

Focus on your strengths. Adjusting to a disability can make it difficult to realize your strengths and abilities. Instead of looking at the things you can no longer do, look at the things you are still quite good at. Encourage and grow these strengths whenever possible. You may even discover new strengths that grow from your experiences with your disability. When talking about your disability, don't focus on listing things you're no longer able to accomplish. Always speak about your abilities first. Consider taking classes that will help you to grow your talents and abilities.

Finding Resources and Support

Don't be embarrassed to ask for help. One of the biggest stumbling blocks to overcome when new to a disability is becoming comfortable with asking for help when necessary. Although it can be frustrating or embarrassing, asking for help is often something that must be done. Know when it is appropriate to do something on your own, but don't stress your limits. Pushing yourself too hard to accomplish something could actually be dangerous and cause you physical injury. Learn that you should not be ashamed of asking for help, and getting aid does not mean that you are not successful or incapable of accomplishing what you want. If necessary, make sure that you have people (or a nurse) around at all times to offer you help.

See a therapist. Although the thought of telling a stranger your problems might initially seem scary, there is no better person to help you through transitioning with a disability than a therapist. Therapists are trained to help people deal with the mental and emotional trauma that may accompany a disability. A therapist can provide you with the resources and services you need to accept your disability. Make an appointment with a counselor in your area who specializes in disability services. If you're suffering from an emotional or mental illness correlated to your disability, a therapist will be able to offer therapy or medication that can help. Seeing a therapist regularly is also a good way to help you deal with problems you might be struggling with that unrelated to your disability. A new or escalating disability may cause old feelings to resurface.

Attend group therapy. Group therapy for people who have disabilities is a great way to not only overcome your emotional struggles, but also to meet other people dealing with the same types of issues as you. People who attend group therapy regularly end up happier and better emotionally adapted to their disabilities. Look for group therapy in your area, and see if there are classes specialized to the disability you're dealing with. If you're seeing a therapist, she may have suggestions for group therapy you may attend.

Look into government help programs. It's not easy having a disability, but you don't have to struggle without support. If your disability significantly impacts your daily life, there are programs through the government and major charity organizations that are available for help. Get in contact with a local social worker to find out what programs you qualify for, and how they can benefit you. Keep in mind that many programs require multiple doctors visits to verify your disability, so don't be offended if you're asked for verification via a new doctor. Search charities in your area that might be able to help with your specific disability.

Consider getting a service dog. Service dogs are incredibly beneficial for two separate reasons: they may be able to help you perform tasks that your disability prevents you from performing, and they also supply animal-therapy, reducing your risk of depression and loneliness. If your disability prevents you from successfully accomplishing everyday tasks, you should look into getting a trained service dog. A service dog will allow you to get help whenever you need it, without being reliant or dependent on individuals in your life. There may be a government program or charity organization that can help provide you with a service dog. Some service dog programs have long waiting lists, so keep in mind that you might not get yours immediately.

Find an organization that can offer support. Organizations exist that can help you manage your disability, know your rights in the workplace and public places, and point you towards local resources. A few places to start follow: American Association of People with Disabilities Center for Applied Special Technology Mental Health America Mobility International USA National Organization on Disability

Living with Your Disability

Maintain hobbies and interests, when possible. If you stop doing your favorite things, you'll only feel worse. When at all possible, do your best to maintain your favorite hobbies and activities. If things you previously loved to do are no longer easy for you, look for new ways to perform them. For example, if you used to love to read but can no longer accomplish that, consider listening to audio-books; if you are now using a wheelchair and love sports, look for teams in your area that accommodate wheelchairs. Consider starting new hobbies, too. Taking classes for a new hobby is a good way to be social and to do something you enjoy.

Keep up your overall health. Good diet and regular exercise are important for everyone, but can be especially helpful when you're transitioning into a life with a disability. Make sure that you are eating regular meals that incorporate plenty of fruits and vegetables. Try to do physical activity every day, depending on what your skill set and level is. Keeping your diet and exercise in check will also reduce the risk of depression and loneliness, as they both increase levels of dopamine and serotonin (happy hormones) in the brain. If necessary, look into doing physical therapy as your daily exercise. Always check with your doctor before significantly altering your diet. Regular exercise will help you to build and maintain muscles which may help overcome a physical disability.

Look for jobs which complement your abilities. You may find that as a result of your disability, you are unable to keep a former job or to perform job tasks you used to be able to. In order to stay financially aloft and entertained, you could look for a new job that you can be successful in regardless of your disability. Make a list of the things you're good at, and possible occupations that relate to those talents. Search for these types of jobs in your area, and see what comes up. Remember, it is illegal for an employer to even ask about your disability. As long as you're able to accomplish the job at hand, your disability should not prevent you from being hired. Workplaces which are under the American Disabilities Act must provide you with accommodation, if they're able. Consider doing volunteer work for fun if finances are not an issue. This can help you by giving you something constructive to do and taking your focus off of yourself. Many people who volunteer feel happier.