Meeting the Right Guy
Hang out in social places. In order to find a boyfriend, you’re going to have to look beyond school. Instead of hanging out at home, try going to your local pool, library, ice cream store, or mall, where there will be plenty of boys around! Take advantage for the summer and enjoy the outdoors, say hello to people, and try to make new friends.
Prioritize joining activities in your local community instead of at school. If you love theater or volunteering, consider joining your local theater group or club team, instead of playing and practicing at school. If there’s nothing you really want to join, try something new, like a new sport or joining a young politicians club. Look for activities that are coed, and avoid all-girls things like all-girls sports teams or dance groups. Finding someone who shares the same passion as you also gives you a lot to talk about! If you’re scared of joining alone, ask your friends to join with you. Feel free to try different activities if you don’t like the first one you pick up.
Get a job where a lot of people your age work. Getting a job has the added benefit of also giving you an added bit of cash. A job where you spend a lot of time working with other people, like washing cars or scooping ice cream, is an ideal way to get to know someone.
Be available. You never know when the opportunity to get to know someone is going to strike. If a boy asks if you want to do something, say yes! If you’re not free, ask if you can reschedule. Practice saying yes to things, even if they’re new or seem scary. Keep an open mind.
Ask your friends to wingwoman for you. Your friends might know someone they can set you up with, so don’t hesitate to ask! If you have any friends who are dating a boy at a different school, their boyfriend’s friends or acquaintances might be the perfect guy for you! Ask your friend or their male friends to reach out and set you up on a blind date, or to plan a party where you’re all invited.
Take initiative. If you like someone and they haven’t made a move, don’t be afraid to make one first. You don’t have to wait around until he asks you -- go up to him and ask for his number. Even if he says no, at least you’re not spending your time playing guessing games! Go in with a plan, and ask your friends if you can practice with them. Going over the conversation a few times can help settle your nerves.
Getting to Know Him
Exchange numbers and social media accounts. After meeting someone you think has potential, get to know them better by communicating via messaging, phone calls, and video chats. Don’t be afraid to send the first message, but also be careful that you’re not messaging too often. While it might be tempting to message during school, make sure you stay focused. You’ll have plenty of chances to talk when you’re free. Be careful handing out more personal information, like your address, to strangers.
Ask your friends for advice if you get stuck. If you don’t know what to say or how to continue the conversation, ask your friends for help! If the conversation dies, feel free to start again with a simple hello. If he keeps sending messages that confuse you or aren’t clear, ask him to clarify, or if he’d prefer calling or video chatting instead.
Plan a meeting somewhere you can both get to. If you don’t have a car, pick a meeting place you can access by public transportation, ask your parents to drop you off, or walk. You can meet at the mall or the movies. Or, for more a more laid-back atmosphere, you can meet at your nearby ice cream store, park, or favorite brunch place. The important thing is finding a place where you can sit down and talk to each other!
Ask him questions about himself. While it’s important to ask him how he’s feeling and how his day has been, if you want to get to know him better you should also ask questions about his childhood, his favorite things to do, and his family and friends. Listen to him, and reply with your own likes and dislikes.
Be yourself! Don’t feel like you have to change yourself to get a boyfriend, or fake some part of who you are just to impress him. Be honest with him! If it doesn’t work out because of your honesty, then it wasn’t meant to be.
Deepening Your Relationship
Schedule more dates. If you had a good time going out with him, and you think he did too, reach out and schedule another one. Remember to give him some time to breathe, but don’t be afraid of showing your interest either! Some people like waiting three days after a date, while other people like waiting one day. Decide what’s right for you, and don’t feel pressured to do something just because everyone else does.
Schedule time together after school. Since you two can’t hang out during school, schedule time to see each other after school. Take this time to do homework together and just casually talk and get to know each other. Pick a place that you can both easily get to and schedule meeting times that work for both of you. One easy way to see each other is to find a cafe or other location halfway between your schools, and walk to meet each other.
Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. If at any point you don’t feel comfortable, or feel you’re moving too fast, tell him. Ask if you can slow down, or explain your needs to him. Similarly, if he tells you he wants to take it slower, listen to him. The most important thing in a relationship is how you communicate, so start practicing early.
Introduce him to your friends before things get too far. Though it’s not a hard and fast rule by any means, your friends have a great sense of who will be good for you and who might not be the right fit. Introduce him to your friends and ask them what they think. If they get a weird vibe, chances are he’s not the one for you. See if he can come by after school one day, and ask your friends to stay behind, or organize a place where you all can meet. During the summer, plan a hike or another active activity that has everyone moving and talking together.
Meet his friends. Getting to know his friends tells you a lot about what he’s like when he’s not around you. If his friends make you comfortable and accept you, that’s a great sign! If they’re mean to you, or don’t include you in conversation, talk to him about it and ask if he can help. Give it time, and try to be open with them, even if they aren’t open with you. If it’s still not working, or his friends make you uncomfortable, back away and find someone else. This is a great chance to set one of your single friends up with one of his friends! If you have an interested friend, go for it.
Take your time getting to know each other. A relationship should never be rushed. Take your time to get to know him, and have fun! You’ve done the hard part of meeting your guy, now all you have to do is go with the flow, act natural, and develop your relationship.
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