Listen to the dialogue presented to you by the caller. Is the speaker directly prompting you to speak about a friend? To prompt you to speak about someone, they may use 'bait phrases', or pretend that they are also angry with someone.
Avoid using harsh and offensive words, phrases, or similes. In the case that there is a third party listening in, your words will be spread amongst those two people and more.
Tune in your hearing, figuratively. Some people forget that there is a mute button, or their phone does not contain one. There also is the possibility that the third party is standing right next to the speaker, or the talker has the phone on speakerphone mode.
Direct the conversation to take a different turn. Does the speaker still attempt to bring up the person?
Don't dismiss their attempts to make you speak about someone directly. For all you know, it really just might be a friend trying to get a sympathetic ear. Even if this was the case, still try to avoid phrases that would only put you down to their level.
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