How to Choose Your Fate

Identifying What You Want

Reflect on what you don’t like about your current situation. Before you identify what you want your fate to be, think about the aspects of your life that you are unhappy about. This is often easier than trying to set goals right off the bat. Think about what upsets you about your current situation and write it down. For example, you might feel as though your relationship with your significant other is unfulfilling. You might also dislike your job or your major in school and want to make a change.

Consider what would make your situation better than it is now. Now that you have identified what is making you unhappy, think about what changes would improve your situation. Write down the specific changes to your situation you’d like to see. For example, you might think life would be better if you had more dates with your partner. On the other hand, you might see yourself being happier in a job where you have more creative agency and interactions with people.

Ask yourself questions to pinpoint what you value most. Once you have a general idea of what you want, go a little deeper. Think about your values, talents, special skills, and other relationships to start getting specific about what you want. Some questions you might ask yourself include: What do you do that sets you apart from other people in your profession or area of interest? What life experiences have you had that have shaped you into the person you are today? What do you value most in life? Friends? Family? Career? Money? What communities do you most love to engage with, serve, and support? What do you hope to have accomplished at the end of your life?

List your talents, achievements, and any special skills. These can help you to make your goal for changing your fate even more specific, which will make it easier to accomplish. Make a list of anything that you have been told you’re good at, received awards for, or earned a degree or certificate in as proof of your proficiency. For example, if you have always been complimented on your people skills, add this to the list! If you have a certification in computer repair, include this in the list as well.

Write a mission statement based on what you've discovered. This mission statement should be a reflection of what you want your fate to be. Include any details you have identified through this process of self-reflection and frame the statement in the positive. You can write a mission statement for all areas of your life, such as for your personal, professional, emotional, and spiritual goals. For example, you might write a professional mission statement that reads: "I am a skilled public speaker who inspires other people by telling stories about my struggles with my weight and drug abuse." You might also write a personal mission statement that reads: "I have trustworthy friends who love me and support me in all of my goals." Tip: Remember that no one else’s opinion matters but yours when it comes to your dreams. If you share your dreams with someone and they discourage you, ignore them. Focus on what you want because this is how you will stay motivated.

Accomplishing Goals

Set a SMART goal to move you towards what you want. Your big goal might be something very different from your current situation, which can make it seem daunting. This is why it’s important to set SMART goals. A SMART goal is one that is: Specific. The goal is clearly defined and not vague or broad, such as “lose 10 lb (4.5 kg)” instead of simply “lose weight.” Measurable. There are numbers involved in your goal or some other quantitative aspect that allows you to clearly determine when you have accomplished it. Attainable. It’s possible for you to reach your goal. Relevant. The goal aligns well with your other goals and values. Time-based. You have set a date or time limit for your goal. Tip: Make sure that you break bigger goals into small, manageable chunks. It’s fine to set a big goal, but then plan to break it into several smaller ones so you will be less likely to feel overwhelmed.

Create a plan for how you will work towards your goal. Once you have your SMART goal written out, start thinking of what you will need to do to accomplish it. Create a specific plan for what you will do and when you will do it to reach your goal. For example, if your goal is to lose 10 lb (4.5 kg) over the course of 2 months, then you may identify behaviors such as counting your calories using a tracking app, exercising for 30 minutes per day, and avoiding alcohol to help you meet your goal. If your goal is to find a new job, then you might list things like updating your resume and applying for 1 new job every day.

Identify obstacles and specify how you’ll overcome them. It’s normal to experience setbacks on your path towards achieving a goal, so make sure that you come up with a plan for how you’ll handle any setbacks. Be as specific about how you will handle setbacks as you were about how to achieve your goals. For example, if your goal is to lose 10 lb (4.5 kg) over the course of 2 months, then a possible setback might be gaining weight one week. If this happens, you might specify that you will review your caloric intake for the week, reduce your intake if needed, and determine if you need more exercise. If you are trying to find a new job and you don’t hear anything back from your applications after 2 weeks, you might decide to contact the employer via email to request an interview and apply to 3 more jobs.

Reevaluate your goals often and continue working towards them. Your goals may change as you work towards them, so it’s important to take stock of your situation regularly. Try reading over your goals once per month to help you decide if you might need to tweak them. For example, if you made it your goal to lose 10 lb (4.5 kg) in 2 months and you reach the goal after only 6 weeks, then you could start working on the next 10 lb (4.5 kg) or shift into maintenance mode. If your goal is to find a new job and you have not been succeeding with your current plan, you might try something different, such as attending a job fair, contacting a former professor or boss for suggestions, or attending a networking event.