How to Call in Sick

Deciding if You Are “Stay Home” Sick

Think of your co-workers. Even if you aren’t best buddies with everyone in your workplace, hopefully, there isn’t anyone you want to see fall ill. At the very least, think about the hassles it will cause you if half your office is sick and absent/unproductive, all because of you. Stay home if you are contagious. If you’re coughing, sneezing, have a runny nose, or have an open wound, don’t go into work. Think about how you feel when you’re healthy and the guy in the next cubicle is hacking all day and sneezes on the copy machine. Don't however, confuse cold symptoms with seasonal allergies, which are not contagious and (under normal circumstances) not usually worthy of a sick day. Both maladies involve the runny/stuffy nose and sneezing, but allergies should not bring on a fever or body aches, among other differences. Talk to your doctor if you seem to get a lasting cold at the same time(s) each year; it may be allergies. Be particularly conscientious about any colleagues that may be of higher risk for illness or infection. Co-workers who are pregnant, immune-compromised, or undergoing cancer treatments, for instance, are more likely to fall ill and face serious complications. Don’t feel guilty about giving everyone a little extra work in your absence. You are doing them a favor by keeping your germs at home.

Gauge your potential effectiveness. If you can’t stand up, see straight, stay awake, or go ten minutes without running for the toilet, how helpful are you going to be at work anyway? Your boss might not like you taking a sick day, but he/she also won’t be happy if you are useless the entire day. It probably serves you (and your employment) best to be productive when present and absent when unproductive. That said, if you called in sick every time you felt less than 100%, you’d hardly ever go in at all. Determine whether you can put in a legitimate, if not necessarily exceptional, day of work.

Consider your options. Nowadays, many of us already do much of our work from home or can do so if necessary. Think about whether you need a work-from-home day or a no-work-at-all day. Offer to work from home if your job duties permit it and you are contagious but not incapacitated. However, don’t offer to work from home if you are simply too ill to work. In these instances, rest is usually essential to helping you get better. If you are hesitant to call in sick at all, or to do so without offering to work from home, because of pressure from your supervisor(s), consider ways to advocate for more sensible sick-day policies at your job. Talk to your co-workers about creating a united front regarding how paid sick days can actually improve productivity and morale.

Prepare before a sick day arrives. If you work as part of a “team” or are a supervisor yourself, you may be more hesitant to take a sick day when you should, out of fear that you’ll mess up everyone else’s workday as well. If you are starting to feel lousy during a workday and suspect that tomorrow could be a sick day, create a “sick day list” of tasks for your colleagues/subordinates in your absence. Mark it clearly and place it on your desk so it can be easily found the next day if you are out. More generally, just keeping a list of “tasks in my absence” ready, updated, and accessible is probably a good idea. You can provide direction and leadership even in your absence.

Following Sick Day Etiquette

Observe your boss’s response to sick days. Does he blow a gasket if someone calls in sick for anything short of Ebola? Does she grouse about notices by text or email instead of a phone call? Use these observations to help you determine when and how to call in sick. Fear of upsetting the boss by calling in sick is one reason why the average American worker takes five sick days per year, even though he/she is entitled to eight or nine. In the best case scenario, you’ll find your fears eased because your boss actually responds quite reasonably to legitimate sick day requests. In the worst-case scenario, you’ll find that you’re going to have to be insistent and persistent to secure a sick day, even when you really need it.

Assume that you need to call in. If you’re lucky, your boss may be fine with a sick-day text or email (see samples below in this article). Realistically, though, you’re probably going to have to go through an actual, person-to-person phone conversation. In most instances, calling in sick attaches greater respect, seriousness, and legitimacy to your request. Deciding when to call is important as well. You don’t want to call too early — you might wake your boss up, or give the impression that you didn’t even give coming in to work a chance. However, calling too late may be deemed disrespectful for leaving everyone in the lurch by your last-minute absence. You can also let your boss know the night before if you don't feel well enough to go into work. The best time to call is usually sometime between when you normally wake up and when you leave for work. This says “I tried, but it’s obvious it’s just not happening today.”

Don’t milk it. Yes, your boss wants to get the feeling that you’re actually sick, but no, he/she does not need the gory details of your morning spent bent over the toilet. Be clear, direct, and brief in explaining why you need to stay home. By knowing your boss and how he or she responds to sick day requests, you’ll have a better idea of how much detail you need to provide regarding your particular illness, symptoms, etc. Unless you’re certain of your phone acting skills, faking or exacerbating symptoms for effect is probably not a good idea. You’re more likely to elicit suspicion than sympathy if your “scratchy voice” or “persistent cough” sound manufactured, even if you actually have those symptoms in a milder form. Apologize for the inconvenience, but don’t feel guilty if you are truly sick and unable to come in. Remember, you are actually doing everyone a favor.

Be thoughtful when you return to work. You don’t need to give everyone explicit details about how sick you were, or play up your remaining symptoms as proof of why you stayed home the day before. (On the other hand, you probably shouldn’t act like you feel better than ever, either.) Instead, a little extra common courtesy is in order. Be appreciative of any efforts made to pick up the slack in your absence, and apologetic for any inconveniences you caused. Likewise, show you care about your co-workers’ health by practicing exemplary hygiene upon returning. Wash your hands like you’re a surgeon heading into the O.R., and pump that hand sanitizer bottle on your desk until it’s empty. Declare war on any remaining contagion you may have.

Calling in Sick When You Aren’t Sick

Pick the right time for a sick day. If you're committed to calling in sick, you should take a look at your calendar in advance to make sure that the day you choose doesn't stand out as the perfect day to be off from work. Here are some ways to choose the right day: Recognize that if you pick a Friday or a Monday, you will have to be extra convincing because it will seem like you're trying to carve out a nice little three-day weekend for yourself. Make sure you haven't been taking too many days off recently, whether it's been for a real illness or not. You don't want to look like the person who is always looking for a day off. Make sure you've gone to work every day for at least two months before you decide to play hooky. Don't pick a particularly important or annoying day, like the day of a meeting everyone dreads, or the day when a client everyone knows you don't get along with will come in. This will make it obvious that you're trying to avoid being at work on that particular day. Don't pick a day of a major sporting event in your town. If everyone knows you are a fan of a certain team and that you're dying to go to a day game, your excuse will not work. If you're American, don't pick a Monday after Super Bowl Sunday. This is a big drinking day for many Americans, and it'll be pretty obvious that you're calling in because you're hung over, not sick.

Start acting sick the day before. Once you've chosen the sick day of your dreams, you should give signs of an oncoming illness at work the day before. It will look suspicious if you were working harder than ever or cracking up in the coffee lounge one day and then calling in with a debilitating illness the next. That said, overselling your emerging fake illness can be an obvious sign to your boss and co-workers, so aim for mild indications. Cough or sniffle once in a while. During lunch, casually mention that you don't have an appetite. Look slightly unkempt. If you're a man, tussle your hair or don't tuck in your shirt all the way. If you're a woman, wear less makeup than usual and don't wash your hair to give yourself a "slightly tired" look. Don't take this too far — remember that you want to look like you're getting sick, not like a slob. Don't be too obvious about your illness. Once people hear your cough or sniffle, they will ask how you're feeling. Try to brush it off. Just say, "No, really, I'm fine" or "I'm just a little tired today, I guess." If you're a big coffee drinker, have tea instead. Hold your hands to your head like you have a headache. Casually take pain medication during your workday. Bring a full bottle of pills to work so everyone can hear the pills shaking in the bottle when you take it out. You can also just pretend to take the pills, but it has to be convincing. Be more reserved that day. Don't go out of your way or be friendly to everyone. If your coworkers invite you to happy hour or out for lunch, thank them but say you're just not feeling up to it. If it's a Friday and you're planning on taking a Monday off, mention that you're not feeling well at the end of the day, but that you'll be able to sleep it off over the weekend. Then when you call on Monday, you can mention how you started feeling terrible over the weekend and that you're feeling a bit better, but not recovered.

Prepare for your phone call. Once you've started “Operation Sick Day” at work, you should prepare for your phone call when you get home. You should be ready for anything that may come up during your call so you're not caught off guard. Know your illness inside out. Is it a migraine, a cold, something else? A migraine or a cold are good excuses. Don't try to pick an illness that is so complicated that it'll be hard to describe, or something that may take several days to recover from, such as strep throat or food poisoning. Know your illness, but don't give too many details. You want to keep the call short and sweet. If your boss asks questions about it, you can give answers. Prepare for any questions your boss may ask so you sound like you're being honest. Know when your illness started, how you think you'll feel tomorrow, and what you'll be doing that day to recover. Rehearse your conversation. You can even call a close friend to practice on him or her. You can try writing down what you'll say to help you rehearse, but don't just read from a paper when you're making the real call.

Make the call, and make it count. This is the moment of truth for your fake sick day. Make a convincing call, and you’re (literally) home free. Do it wrong, and you’ll end up at best with an angry boss and at worst with your walking papers. Call at the right time, and in the right way, to improve your odds of success. Make your phone call early. After you've prepared for the call, you should call your boss nice and early. Don't call so early that you wake him up and are a nuisance. Just call right around the time you would normally wake up for work so it looks like you woke up to go to work and realized you weren't feeling well enough to go. Sound sick during the call. Whether you're leaving a voicemail or talking to your boss, it's important to sound convincing about being sick. There are a few things you can do to sound like you're really coming down with something: Cough or sniffle occasionally during the call. Don't overdo it because fake coughs can be really obvious, but a well-placed cough or sniffle can do the trick. Make your voice sound hoarse. You can do this by screaming into a pillow to make your throat ache a little bit, or making sure not to drink water before the call. You can also call while lying down and having your head hang upside-down (to sound congested), but make sure this doesn't disorient you and make you forget exactly what you were going to say.

Act a little sick the next day at work. It would be suspicious if you showed up to work looking well-rested and excited about life. Instead, you should act like you're feeling better after your cold, but still exhibiting signs of that pesky illness. Remember to practice particularly good hygiene to keep on everyone’s good side as well. Don't groom yourself as well as usual. Again, you don't have to look like a slob, but your hair, face, and clothes should look just a tiny bit disheveled. Keep to yourself more than usual. Blow your nose or cough once in a while. Be apologetic about having to miss a day of work. Don't show up with a nice tan or new outfit. This will make it obvious that you spent the day out in the sun or shopping.