Emotional Flooding: What It Is & How to Cope

• Emotional flooding is an emotional response to being in overwhelming situations or circumstances.
• Emotional flooding may feel like you're in panic mode or overwhelmed with feelings.
• Take deep breaths or a timeout to manage emotional flooding in the moment and practice self-care or talk to a therapist to help prevent it in the future.

What is emotional flooding?

Emotional flooding is when your body “shuts down” in overwhelming situations. Emotional flooding can be triggered by different things in different people, but emotionally overwhelming situations (such as arguments or parties) often cause it. When a lot is happening physically and/or emotionally around you, you mentally go into fight-or-flight mode (whether you mean to or not). This reaction can make you feel like you're swimming in emotions, causing your body to shut down. More often than not, emotional flooding occurs in relationships or situations with high stress, conflict, or tension levels. People who are highly sensitive, have attachment issues, struggle with PTSD or ADHD, or have anxiety or depression are more vulnerable to emotional flooding.

Scientifically, emotional flooding occurs when the sympathetic nervous system is threatened. The nervous system is divided into 3 parts: the sympathetic, parasympathetic, and enteric systems. The sympathetic nervous system controls your fight-or-flight response, instigating anger and irritability or panic and avoidance. If your brain tries to process too many emotions too quickly, it can trigger the sympathetic system and shut down reasonable thinking. When this occurs, the amygdala (the part of the brain that handles threats) is activated. This causes you to react to sensory stimuli (like an argument) more quickly, leading to misinterpretations and unreasonable behaviors. Emotionally flooding makes it difficult to think straight—often causing excessive worrying and/or intrusive thoughts.

Emotional Flooding Symptoms

Panic-like symptoms are often associated with emotional flooding. The symptoms of this bodily reaction vary for each individual, as each emotionally stressful situation can trigger a different response. Even so, there are commonalities. Most people experience anxiety-related symptoms when they’re emotionally flooded, such as: Increased heart rate Quick or shallow breathing Trouble focusing Muscle tension Negative self-talk Avoidance behaviors Throat constriction Aggression or out-of-character behavior A strong will to leave or escape the situation

Emotional Flooding Examples

Romantic relationships Your fight-or-flight response may be triggered if you’re in a heated argument with your significant other, making it more difficult to state your opinion reasonably. Studies show that those in abusive or toxic relationships are more susceptible to emotional flooding because of the stress it causes physically and mentally. For instance, More often than not, those experiencing emotional flooding may become distant, disorganized, or withdrawn from the relationship.

Parental and caregiving relationships If you’re a parent or caregiver, you may experience emotional flooding if you have conflicting feelings with a child or family member. Arguing can trigger feelings of anxiety and stress, which may make you feel overwhelmed emotionally. Say you believe going to a party instead of studying is a bad decision on your child’s part. This can lead to an argument on house rules, education, and maturity, which ultimately leads to emotional tension. In some instances, if a parent experiences emotional flooding consistently, they may experience parental burnout later on.

Workplace relationships At work, you may become emotionally overwhelmed if you have tight deadlines or a demanding boss. Toxic work environments make people more vulnerable to emotional flooding because employee boundaries are often overlooked or disregarded. If you constantly feel negative or down at work or like you’re not being heard or respected, you may be on the path to emotional flooding.

How to Manage Emotional Flooding

Take a time out. A great way to cope with emotional flooding in the moment is to take a step back and breathe. Remove yourself from the situation (if you can). Then, take deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. This can help regulate your nervous system, calm your nerves, and make it easier to think. For example, if you’re in a tense debate with your partner, say something like, “I’m feeling overwhelmed. Can we take a time out to collect ourselves and come back to the conversation in a few minutes?” While you take a break, cuddle your pet, listen to soothing music, do yoga, or take a walk outside. Do whatever helps you feel relaxed.

Communicate with your loved ones. Know that you don’t have to be alone in this fight. If you feel emotionally overwhelmed or flooded, speak up. This way, your loved one can give you space to take time out to collect your thoughts. For example, try saying to your partner, “I’m getting flooded. This is overwhelming. Can I have a moment to myself, please?” Taking even a short 20-minute break from the overwhelming conversation or situation can help you steady your emotions and feel like yourself again.

Talk positively to yourself. What you say and believe about yourself can greatly impact your mental health. The next time you think something negative about yourself, reframe the thought into something positive. This can help you feel less stressed and boost your self-esteem, easing emotional flooding symptoms. For instance, instead of saying, “I can't handle this” you might say, “This is challenging, but I can figure it out.”

Set boundaries. An amazing thing you can do for yourself and your mental health is to set boundaries in all your relationships. Communicate what you need with your partner, parents, children, and boss. Setting healthy boundaries helps regulate your interactions while providing a sense of control. In the case of emotional flooding, setting boundaries can look like having your partner check in with you before addressing a sensitive topic or creating a code word you can use when you’re feeling overwhelmed in public.

Practice self-care. One of the best ways to cope and deal with emotional flooding is to take care of yourself inside and out. Take time each day to recharge your batteries and do something that makes you happy. You might try: Taking a bubble bath after a long work day. Treating yourself to a sweet treat. Calling a friend to vent about your ex. Reading a book before bed. Doing your hair and makeup before you leave the house.

Listen to your emotions. A great way to manage emotional flooding is to learn why and when you become overwhelmed emotionally. What triggers your flight-or-fight response? Rather than pushing your emotions aside, acknowledge them to better understand yourself. Practice being mindful of your emotions. Ask yourself, “How do I feel?” “Why do I feel this way?” and “Is there anything I need right now?”

Talk to a therapist. It’s always a good idea to get a second opinion, especially from a licensed professional! Don’t hesitate to ask for extra help when it comes to regulating your emotions and managing emotional flooding. A therapist can guide you on a journey of self-improvement and provide personalized coping techniques to benefit you. Try using an online therapy platform, such as Talkspace and Brightside, to talk to a therapist from the comfort of your home.