- Reciprosexuality is a sexual orientation that falls on the asexual spectrum.
- Recipromanticism is a romantic orientation that falls on the aromantic spectrum.
- You might be reciprosexual if you don’t experience sexual attraction often or if you only feel attracted to someone after they like you first.
- Identifying as reciprosexual is a personal decision—try out the label and see if you resonate with it.
What does reciprosexual mean?
Reciprosexuality is a sexual orientation that falls on the asexual spectrum. Asexuality is a blanket term for people who don’t feel sexual attraction for others at all or only experience sexual attraction under specific conditions or scenarios. Reciprosexuality is just one of several asexual (or “ace”) identities that fall under this umbrella. Reciprosexuality is considered a sexual orientation since it relates to sexual attraction (the desire to be sexually intimate with someone). The ace community is incredibly diverse, and people fall on all different parts of the asexual spectrum. For instance, people who don’t experience any type of sexual attraction under any circumstance fall on one side of the spectrum, while people who situationally experience sexual attraction (like reciprosexuals) fall on another.
Reciprosexuals only feel sexually attracted to people who first like them. Let’s say Tina sits next to Lauren in class—as a reciprosexual, Tina wouldn’t develop feelings for Lauren unless she had express knowledge that Lauren liked her first. Without extra insight, reciprosexuals don’t experience any sexual attraction.
What does recipromantic mean?
Recipromanticism is a romantic orientation that falls on the aromantic spectrum. Aromanticism is a general term for people who don’t feel romantic attraction for others or only experience romantic attraction in specific circumstances. Like asexuality, aromanticism exists on a spectrum, and there are many different ways for a person to identify as aromantic (or “aro”). Reciproromanticism is considered a romantic orientation since it relates to romantic attraction (the desire to be romantically intimate with someone).
Recipromantics only develop feelings for people who first crush on them. Let’s say that Dom and Wendy are co-workers that cross paths pretty often. As a recipromantic, Dom wouldn’t develop any romantic feelings for Wendy unless and until he knew that she had romantic feelings for him.
Signs That You’re Reciprosexual
You don’t feel sexually attracted to other people very often. Whenever your friends are talking about who they’re crushing on, you don’t often feel like you can hop into the conversation—mostly because you can’t relate. When you do develop feelings of sexual attraction, it’s on a specific, case-by-case basis.
You almost never feel inclined to ask someone out. Sure, you’ve seen your friends and peers take the plunge and invite someone out on a date, but you’ve never really felt the desire to do that yourself. In fact, you can’t imagine even considering a relationship unless you knew for a fact that the other person liked you first.
You don’t really vibe with mainstream portrayals of relationships. Let’s face it—in the world of TV and movies, there aren’t a ton of stories that feature characters on the asexual (or aromantic) spectrum. You just don’t resonate with “love at first sight” storylines, or characters who pursue relationships without knowing if the other person feels the same way.
You don’t feel like you totally identify as asexual. On a scale of asexual to allosexual (people who experience sexual attraction unconditionally), you definitely land on the asexual side—but you still experience sexual attraction sometimes. If you can remember a specific time (or times) when you felt sexually attracted to someone else after they admitted their feelings for you, you might be reciprosexual. Similarly, you might be recipromantic if you’ve experienced romantic attraction towards others in the past after they shared their romantic feelings for you.
Other Types of Asexuality
DemisexualityUnlike allosexuals, demisexual individuals need to have a close emotional connection with someone before they start experiencing any type of sexual attraction. The length of time it takes to create a tight bond depends on the individual—the main difference is that demisexuals don’t feel sexual attraction right off the bat. Aromantic counterpart: Demiromanticism (a person who only experiences romantic attraction after forming a tight emotional bond with someone)
Grey-asexualityAs a spectrum of different identities, asexuality doesn’t exist purely in shades of black and white. That’s where grey-asexuality comes in! Grey-asexual individuals do experience sexual attraction on occasion, but not nearly as frequently as allosexual people. They also may not feel sexual attraction as strongly as other people, or only in specific instances. Aromantic counterpart: Greyromanticism (a person who only experiences romantic attraction on occasion, in specific circumstances, or not as strongly as most people)
FraysexualityFraysexuals tend to feel sexual attraction when they first meet someone. However, this attraction “frays” away as they get to know that person better. Aromantic counterpart: Frayromanticism (a person who experiences romantic attraction upon meeting someone that begins to fray away)
CupiosexualityLike many asexuals, cupiosexual individuals don’t feel any kind of sexual attraction for others. They do, however, still want to pursue a sexually active relationship. Aromantic counterpart: Cupioromanticism (a person who doesn’t experience romantic attraction but wants to pursue a romantic relationship)
LithrosexualityLithrosexuals do experience their fair share of sexual attraction, but they don’t want to act on their feelings or have their feelings returned—in fact, their sexual attraction will go away if their feelings are reciprocated. Think of lithrosexuals as the exact opposite of reciprosexuals. Lithrosexuals are also known as lithsexuals or akoisexuals. Aromantic counterpart: Lithromanticism/akoiromanticism (a person who experiences romantic attraction but doesn’t want a romantic relationship or to have their romantic feelings returned; their romantic feelings for someone fade once they’re returned)
AcefluxAceflux people don’t fit comfortably under a specific label—on some days, they might identify as asexual; on others, they might identify as allosexual. Some aceflux people are consistently asexual and never identify outside of the asexual spectrum. Aromantic counterpart: Aroflux (a person who seesaws between being aromantic and alloromantic or wavers along the aromantic spectrum) An alloromantic individual is someone who experiences romantic attraction unconditionally.
Reciprosexual Flag
The reciprosexual flag has 5 stripes that are pink, purple, white, and black. The top 2 dark and light pink stripes both represent the concept of attraction, while the middle light purple stripe and bottom black stripe represent asexuality. The white stripe (which goes between the light purple and black stripes) stands for a lack of attraction. The recipromantic flag is almost identical to the reciprosexual flag, but it has a light green stripe rather than a light purple one. In this pride flag, the green stripe represents aromanticism.
Key Takeaways
There isn’t a right or wrong way to be reciprosexual or recipromantic. Some reciprosexual individuals may choose to pursue lots of different relationships, while others may choose not to pursue any relationships at all. Both preferences (and everything that falls in between) are completely valid—you don’t have to do anything to “earn” your label.
You can personally identify with more than one LGBTQ+ label. LGBTQ+ labels are all about providing you with ways to label your identity in a way that feels true and authentic to you. For some people, simply identifying as reciprosexual might be enough; for others, a combination like bisexual recipromantic or homoromantic reciprosexual might feel more true and accurate. Feel free to experiment and explore different labels until you find one that feels comfortable to you!
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